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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my new boyfriend says he is going to vote BNP

459 replies

susia · 02/05/2010 20:51

that's it really, I was really shocked and went into a bit of a rant. I can't believe someone I've been intimate with and been close to would vote bnp.

OP posts:
Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 21:03

he is not my newly ex-bf though we have just had a disastrous weekend. We started rowing about that and ending up rowing about sex!

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 02/05/2010 21:04

Problem is, either he is racist.

Or so ill informed that he truly thinks that immigration is the reason for his problems.

Either way, it would be enough for me to walk away. Particularly when you have other issues.

dittany · 02/05/2010 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jellyjelly · 02/05/2010 21:04

I would dump him. I used to date an ex gf who voted or was going to vote for them. What I think made it worse waas that we were a same sex relationship at the time.

She went.

DaydreamDolly · 02/05/2010 21:05

Run as fast as your legs will carry you, in the opposite direction of him.

NonnoMum · 02/05/2010 21:05

susia - poor you to have such a shock to your system.

Why does he think his job was lost to immigration? Is he in agriculture? Or is he a doctor?

Or is he just sadly misinformed?

LunaticFringe · 02/05/2010 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 21:06

The reason I am still with him is that I am not easy either! I think he is misinformed and it is easy to be judgmental with the hindsight of education (which I have had). Some people form judgments without fully knowing the full story and I think he is well meaning but totally misinformed.

OP posts:
tethersend · 02/05/2010 21:07

Shitting crikey.

If you don't dump him, the best you can hope for is to educate him, which skews the power balance in the relationship hugely. Not healthy.

It's a no-win situation I'm afraid.

Give him the Spanish archer treatment (El Bow).

Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 21:07

jellyjelly - why out of interest was it made worse by the fact it was a same sex relationship?

OP posts:
Tootlesmummy · 02/05/2010 21:08

Dump him FAST.

Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 21:09

tethersend - that was what I hoping - to educate him about it and also reveal that I am half jewish to see his reaction.

OP posts:
LordVolAuVent · 02/05/2010 21:09

Controlling and racist... He sounds lush. I'd get out while you still can. Are you both completely white British? Do you have no "multicultural" or gay friends/family? Does he not realise how incredibly offensive his views are to these and (hopefully) most others?
If you really want a challenge, try and re-educate, or correctly inform, if you want but does anyone really believe that the BNP aren't racist, amongst other bigoted things?

TheCrackFox · 02/05/2010 21:09

I would have to dump him.

The BNP are not only racist but deeply sexist too.

dittany · 02/05/2010 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tethersend · 02/05/2010 21:10

But susia, how can you ever have an equal relationship with someone you've had to educate?

That's a teacher/student dynamic, not a respectful loving relationship...

LilRedWG · 02/05/2010 21:11

He'd be an ex-boyfriend if I were you.

Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 21:11

LordVolAuVent - as I said I am half jewish. I haven't yet told him that but I will.

OP posts:
dittany · 02/05/2010 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 21:13

after our row about that we then proceeded to have a row about sex. Not that it is relevant but he won't touch me when I have my period. I sort of understand but also feel quite insulted and hurt.

OP posts:
Lulumaam · 02/05/2010 21:13

could his political viewpoints and affiliations affect your role /job ?

it would worry me whether he was ill informed or a racist or both..

NonnoMum · 02/05/2010 21:14

Susia - again, sympathies. You sound very well informed that you realise (all?) part of his judgment forming is from a poor education.
It is too easy to just simply "dump him" as that sort of attitude probably further disenfranchises people who already feel marginalised in our society.
You're going to need to call on all your most articulate and reasoned debating in order to try to reason with him.
And then you can dump him for leaving the toilet seat up.

said · 02/05/2010 21:15

If this isn't a wind up, what exactly do you see in him?

piscesmoon · 02/05/2010 21:16

I would make him my ex boyfriend pretty smartish.

Janos · 02/05/2010 21:16

He sounds just lush susia.

Send him my way when you finally come to your senses split up.