to expect dp to spend a substational amount of money on an engagement ring?

[hotCheeseBURNS]

Like one month's salary? The whole point of having a "guideline" like that is that a month's salary is a lot of money. To eveyone, whether you earn £10K or £300K.

We don't have a huge amount of money, but we don't really have any debt, and we like having stuff, we live in a materialistic world. If dp is happy to spend thousands on a flash car, or hundreds on an electric drum kit, if he wears designer clothes (albeit from TK Maxx) and has a top of the range mobile phone, am I being unreasonable to think that I should get the same treatment? A ring to wear for the rest of my
life, to hand down to grandchildren? A symbol of our relationship.

The value of the ring is immaterial.

It is also nothing to do with how much love, respect and affection the couple have for one another.

It should suit one's personal taste and financial situation.

If you can afford it, and it is something that you value then yes you should buy the ring that you want.

Christ RedRedWine - you seem to have a bit of grudge... has my DP turned you down in the past? Is he a much longed for ex of yours?

BK yes you did mention calling off/postponing the wedding....the fact some women get excited about how much things cost and labels just reeks of insecurity and is quite well whispers chavvy

I dont think thats true though MME- seeings as BK stated 'a decent diamond would have to cost four figures to be THE ONE'...
Thankfully some people have happy relationships/marriages without needing to set a price limit.

YANBU

If he can afford it and he has/likes nice stuff - I think its fair enough to want a nice ring.

However, me being me, I wouldn't want one if it was begrudged. Being mean isnt'a very attractive quality though so I'd probably start evaluating the relationship/potential marriage.

MmeLindt- Precisely. My DP bought me that ring because he knew I love the shop and knew I would love the ring. It means the world to me that he put so much thought into it, it would matter not if he had spent £1 (but like I said, hard to come buy big diamonds for £1 )

But the ring makes no difference to the rest of the relationship, my DH would still be a selfish twunt with or without my nice ring! When we first got engaged I didn't have 'wow' feelings about the ring or him.....why oh why?

You have just totally contradicted yourself BK- its not the cost that matters but you cant get a good diamond for less than four figures

What if the dp offers a whopping great family heirloom - that would cost him nothing. Should he then buy his fiancee a second piece of ultra-expensive jewellery to compensate?

It's true about white diamonds and price, you may as well just wear a price tag unless it's really unusual....and you can't get one worth wearing under £1000, probably £3k.

An antique tops it every time....still has value though.

No RedRedWine, no I didn't:

"By BattyKoda Mon 12-Apr-10 12:48:03
To the 'call off the wedding brigade' - I have 2 DC's with this man, we have been through much worse before and come out the other side. My commitment to this man has already been made. Our wedding is to confirm and share our commitment. "

It matters not about diamond rings or sex lines, we'd still be getting married and building our future regardless. It's just nice (for me) to have a big sparkler on my finger, I have no other jewellery, and I don't spend over £1000 on golf clubs and memberships

Wow thanks, my diamond is not worth wearing now.
Just because YOU feel anything worth having has to cost a fortune you have no right to make anyone else feel what they have isnt worth wearing. My ring and the person who bought it me mean the world to me.

posie - we got a lovely white diamond for under 1k, custom-designed by a funky jeweller who's been featured in all the cool style mags. Though that was 10 years ago.

Anyway, it may be small but I can assure you that it's definitely 'worth wearing'.

Posie - are you OK? You sound very fed up.

So summing up if your man is an árse/twunt/sex line addict then its by the by as long as he spends specified percentage of his wages on a great big really expensive shiney diamond?

My ring is from an antique shop that custom makes jewellery posie. Was so shocked when he pulled it out

Yes RedRedWine, you can't get a decent diamond for less than 4 figures. If he couldn't have afforded it, it wouldn't have been The One (my dream ring) but I wouldn't be calling off the wedding in a huff and I'm sure I would have been made up with whatever he had chosen anyway. We're just fortunate that he could afford to treat me.

Holy shit, sorry. custom made speedy....niiiiice. Red if you bought your ring now it would be less than £1000? because 0.5ct in a sale is £1000.

No RedRedWine - but you carry on steaming ahead with your ridiculous assumptions. I'm finding it all a bit strange that your so angry about it TBH.

Don't worry posie! Everything else I own is off the peg so it's nice to have one thing that's unique!

So you ARE saying if it wasnt expensive it wouldnt have been your dream ring? What an insincere pair you both sound.

tracey....no I'm not okay..I am fed up. Keep thinking I have borderline personality disorder and shamefully I am this outspoken in real life....fuckity fuck.

'Just because YOU feel anything worth having has to cost a fortune you have no right to make anyone else feel what they have isnt worth wearing. '

You really are a bit odd. My dream ring has always included a big sparkly, big sparkly's cost a fortune, I'm lucky enough that my DP could afford it. If he couldn't have then I still would have been happy, and the ring would mean as much to me.

My dream house is a 14 bedroom mansion with a pool. Anyone in a terrace should now feel crap about that.

Falling for the hype...

posieparker - I shouldn't worry, the only person on this thread coming across as having some sort of disorder is most definaltely not you