that the whole playground mums camp is getting me down?

[RedRedWine1980]

Because I dont take DD to school that often due to having to work it just makes me feel like a fish out of water when I do go, some are making trips to the shops in their little gangs after, some coffee morning, some going to each others houses and its all they talk about. Regardless of the children their kids like to play with, they must play with the kids of the mums they like and thats it.
Since DD started she has had one friend over and has been to her house in return however ive asked some of the mums of children my DD likes and plays with at school about them coming over after school one day but nobody takes us up.

NorkilyChallenged you are braver than me if you accompany your DC to playgroup (cowardly dropping at nursery and running away is more my style). School is miles better/easier than nursery/playgroup in that there is a fairly stable set of people and set drop off/pick up times so you are more likely to see them. OTOH it is worse because you are stuck with that group of parents for what seems like forever.

Now I come to think of it, despite all the dropping off and picking up aspect of it, all the other mothers at the occasional party 3yo DD has been to did seem to know each other [paranoid billy no mates]

I am now going to stick my head firmly back in the sand and wish I had never thought about that. At least when she goes to school she will be with at least one sibling of a classmate of DS's so I will know someone.

Norkily

I am just like that.
I have to really fight the urge to imagine that everyone else is meeting up and having a great time and rolling their eyes at each other when I turn up.

And , as I use humour as a defense mecahnism and get chatty and loud when I am feeling stresses I do things like...

New mum: " i am having trouble finding a cleaner who will clean all the toilets properly
Me : really. Do you have many toilets then?
New mum : yes we have five
Me : FIVE - you must really shit a lot....... ....hahahahah ( nervous amd inappropriate laughter)

Why. Why would I say that?

at Pag. Thank you for that tip

Glad you knwo what I mean. Sorry about the paranoia stealth - I also have this problem with nursery

OMG!!!! whats happened to me

I felt briefly, at one point with my second child, that there was a bit of a crowd of mothers who knew each other - because, dur-ur, all their kids had been to the school pre-school together. Mainly I love the school gates.

You don't have to hang out with your children's friends' parents anyway. I find suggesting the pub - obviously on a suitable evening, even I have qualms about repairing to a hostelry straight away* - to those parents I do feel like getting to know works rather well.

*except on the last day of the summer term when everyone heads gaspingly to the pub to fortify themselves against the weeks ahead. And indeed the last day of the Christmas term when we all went off to someone's house for a rather drunken breakfast

My other Top Tip is remember the rules of England. When we moved to new area, dh took kids to playgroup as I hid all cowardly at home. He said he had met a woman who was from our old town, interested in similar things etc etc and I MUST talk to her. So I went along and was super friendly and enthusiastic and said how we really must be friends and meet up and she stared at me in horror and fear and ran away.

Forgot the cardinal rules of

1. Polite nod
2. Six months later: tight smile
3. Another six months: "Morning"
4. Six months on: "We must have coffee"
5. Ten years later: Actually have coffee.

Sorry pag, am still laughing at the 5 toilets comment

I mean I am having one, not Porca is displaying one

at porca's transformation

Hully - ah, would be funny if it wasn't so accurate [wry smile]

Think the issue is me really though

My friend has a great tip.
1st day turn up with a wine box and a huge smile.
The ones that come over to chat are keepers.

I probably appear to be a bit of a playground clique mother - in DD's class there is a group who all came from pre-school together and I am friends with a few of the mums. For the people who joined the class not having been to the pre-school there probably does appear to be cliqueyness.

However we are going to move soonish and I will have DS in Year 1 and DD out of school as she is in mixed nursery/reception class and will be in pre-school in the new village. Am going to have to do hard work on trying to help DS and DD with making friends and maybe even me as well. But I will try and hopefully it will be OK.

Hully you have changed my name, its means "miserable pig" and you have called me "darling little pig"

HA! some u turn!!!

Hully's secret affections revealed!

porca - I thought that's what your name meant, would rather call you Porcarissima now I know for sure

Noah - tis hard when you join an established class. I usually open with "as DD is new and has told me how lovely your DD has been to her..."

Sucking up usually works.

I think we should form a support group and get an action plan. We could go and loiter at eachothers schools, fawning around MNer and vying for her attention.
Either others will join in the fawning in needy way or we will all be arrested.
Who's with me

Love the drunken breakfast idea, I am definately going to suggest that next time all the mums go out

(we put a poster on the nursery noticeboard 2 months before, we get food at restaurant chosen beforehand too, people less likely to not come along)

Yep yep to support group. I could form an advance party now, seeing as the dc won't be at school for another 18 months.

Being arrested would probably make me more popular anyway.

pag - I am you. I make inappropriate jokes that possibly alienate a third of the people I might bond with.

< sings >

"It's like rain on your wedding day"

that's not ironic, that's just unfortunate

Sorry have not been around for the love-in. I do have some real friends you know ... Tra la la

My top tip for meeting The Type Of People I Might Want To Know is to slightly slag off my children a little bit, and moan about them (in a jokey way). Anyone who looks aghast will probably not be my friend.

Norkily - tread carefully. Trying to get your Dcs into a school where they have a restraining order against you can create logistical difficulties.

Jamie it is hard to stifle isn't it. Terrible things go through my head and I just blurtthem out when I am anxious - the worst possible time.

Who else do we know like that?

I do that too, Pag. I used to spend most evenings saying, "now why did I think that was an appropriate thing to say?" until I realized the answer. I am a loon, that's why. But I'm quite lovely despite it, like an eccentric old auntie who gives you sweets and lets you eat a picnic on the roof.

hmmm

does it begin with tether and end with end ?

I was out walking the dog on a cold morn the other day and stopped to talk to a man who is quite the social thing around town and to whom I have only previously nodded.

We have a most interesting conversation which I can't entirely follow as I am wondering why he has decided to chat, but I nod keenly and look intelligent when he mentions Asquith, then I realise my nose is a bit runny, but I am wearing leather gloves, so smiling winningly I remove a glove and wipe my nose on my hand before replacing said glove. I am blenching even now thinking about it.

Jamie - are you allowed on this thread if you have real friends?