that the whole playground mums camp is getting me down?

[RedRedWine1980]

Because I dont take DD to school that often due to having to work it just makes me feel like a fish out of water when I do go, some are making trips to the shops in their little gangs after, some coffee morning, some going to each others houses and its all they talk about. Regardless of the children their kids like to play with, they must play with the kids of the mums they like and thats it.
Since DD started she has had one friend over and has been to her house in return however ive asked some of the mums of children my DD likes and plays with at school about them coming over after school one day but nobody takes us up.

foureleven - did not mean to sound patronising, it's just when you said:

How do I get the mums numbers? Im a super confident person but I wouldnt be able to walk into a group of huddled women I didnt know and say can I have your number... and cause im hardly ever there I wouldnt even know which mum belonged to which kid..

I was replying to that.

Also, I get that being a WOHM is stressful. But being a SAHM is not a bundle of roses either.

< states the patently bleeding obvious once again >

RedRed

I wasn't aiming anything at anyone.
I was just wondering why it can happen - there must be a reason.

When 'playground clique' threads appear a huge percentage of posters saythatthey wish to make friends and want to meet up. There are some who say they don't want to meet anyone but they are rareish.

So if the vast majority of people want sociable but not intrusive friendships at school why do some people experience a mass refusal.
It seems odd
Which is I think what I posted.

I have answered on the thread because I thought you wanted suggestions from others who have started at schools and find it difficult to approach the established group of parents.
Thats all I am trying to achieve.

The 'yeah they are all horrible and want to exclude everyone' may make us feel vindicated ( I guess all of us shy typoes have done it) but it isn't very productive

...and I wasn't suggesting you had said that - I mean the general tenor of some of the replies...

Fight

fight

fight

That Pag is a right cow

Mooooooo

I think if you're doing the inviting you have to give a specific day and what it's for ie tea/lunch etc for the first few times anyway when it's someone new.

If I get a vague 'we must get the children together sometime..' I probably don't follow it up if I don't know the person too well.

Pag and Hully are a clique and it is thought to be impenetrable.

I have heard they will allow those in who bare their arses (painetd purple, natch) and perform the dance of the sugar plum fairy.

Sadly my ballet was 'apparently' not up to scratch. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

I think some people are actually lucky in having a non cliquey playground mob and thus blind to the fact that it happens.
Ds1s parent group, lovely, all polite, all sociable and I made 4 close friends.
Dds parent group at her first primary. Very snobby, very insular, different social demographic for some reason and failed to ever get ANY of them to come for coffee.
DS2s parent group, very tight knit, all friends from a toddler group I couldn't attend as it was out of my
village and I don't drive. Very good at arranging playdates for the boys which was good but again, no invites for coffee.

Change school in 2006.
DDs parent group, lots of lovely people, no time for coffee now I work but I bet they would if asked.
DS2s. One lovely Mum who I keep trying to set up a coffee date with but with the kids activities and our working hours it's nigh on imposible. The rest, cliquey and by the looks they give me for wearing jeans and crocs rather than designer gear and full makeup to the playground, they're snobby too.

I've heard the same thing from other Mums of more than 1 child. Some year groups are lovely and some aren't. It DOES happen and no ammount of smiling and eye contact will get these women to accept you into their pack.

Gibbon
your ballet was divine but we were too envious of your pendulous decolletage

"Actually I get my driver to drop me at school, I collect DD, am nice to everyone, then I get in the car and talk about them being big fat bigots."

PMSL, pagwatch.

I'm a SAHM and I don't know what you're all talking about. It's a quick in-out for me. I'm vaguely polite but don't know anyone and am not really interested, TBH. Maybe that's coz I'm boring, who knows. I've got my own friends that I meet up with once a week. That does me.

I agree with pag. I am not in any gangs myself. some of them are nicer than others, but i can never remember who is friends with who. i hate playdates. the fewer playdates my dc are asked on the fewer i have to reciprocate.

Traffic
I am sorry you experinced that. I do think it is unusual and unlucky - for every other available parent to be snobby and disinterested.

Between my three children they have attended 10 schools/nurseries intwo different counties, including private schools. I have never encountered it.

Of course I have encountered cliques - there are cliques everywhere. But there are always people within them or outside them happy to meet up. You do get some brush offs but that is always the case whether you are starting a new job or moving to a new area

Ah yes, the curse of my currently pendulous breasts.

I should have painted them purple too I feel.

I may have stood a better chance.

It is always the small details that bar our way to greatness Gibb.

Truer words were never spoken dear Pag...

ironic that a thread about playground mums being cluquet has descended into some MNers being cliquey!

stop it and go any play elsewhere!

Sorry, some MN'ers is to vague. You'll have to clarify. Have the courage of your convictions dear and say who you mean.

derr its you Gibbon !!!! and your mates! not lacking in courage just cant be arsed to type all names

will you be mean to me now???

porca

Honestly sorry to have annoyed you.

But isn't cliqueness characterised by its being exclusive. I am trying to talk to everyone on the thread - don't think I am ignoring anyone and I am continuing to post re the topic.
And anyone is welcome to call me a cow.

who has been mean?

Why on earth would I be mean?

I will however say, I shall post what I like, where I like and will have no one tell me not to.

And I find your use of the word/phrase 'derr' offensive.

Op- i can sympathise with you , i am a very shy person to the point that i am dreading ds starting school this Sept as i have been there with dd when she was little . my dc's school is full of the cliquey types , most of the mums drive big 4x4's etc the few times i have really tried to join in a conversation they usually clam up & i feel dreadful so now i stick to hello & goodbye nice weather type of greetings , i once got chatting to one mum who like me seemed shy , we got on well & she kept inviting me back to hers for a coffee this was great until the one time i actually said yy lets organise a coffee morning for this week & she told me she would get back to me on it (fair enough) never spoke to me again after that & she made friends with the cliquey group so i just keep myself to myself these days .

and I find your cliquey little comments rather vomit inducing