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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder about this woman...

190 replies

biddysmama · 27/04/2010 17:31

was a woman in asda with a small (maybe 4 months ish) baby, in a pram.. he was crying, she leaned into the pram said "why dont you justshut the fuck up" then turned to her friend and said "he never stops fucking crying"

not only is that not ok (in my book) but her friend didnt look shocked!

OP posts:
ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 27/04/2010 18:30

Ooooh look, a whole thread of people you can threaten to report to social services one by one.

(personally I am in the camp of those who have whimpered rather than shouted, but as many of the best parents I know would be carted off to swearing-at-their-babies reeducation camp I think I want to do along too)

Being serious, I would not be happy with this attitude being displayed all the time on a regular basis, but I am not going to go all catsbummouth over one brief exchange overheard in a supermarket.

catinthehat2 · 27/04/2010 18:30

The reason I like ASDA and have been a loyal customer for many a long year, despite being extraordinarily rich, beautiful & frankly upper class is this:

I had nothing but kindness & understanding from the chavvy, badly dressed and dentally challenged customers when my DC once threw an historic and Emmy award winning tantrum in the middle of my nearest store.

So there you go. Even I am not too grand too accept a bit of friendliness from the little people.

FioFio · 27/04/2010 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jonicomelately · 27/04/2010 18:31

I think that the OP may not have been so horrified if it was obviously a desperate cry for help.

Why are people so quick to make excuses for her? She needs to know that her bahaviour is completely unacceptable.

HellBent · 27/04/2010 18:32

oh elliemental I did that too, DD was awful with colic as a baby

Pronoia · 27/04/2010 18:35

It's clearly not unacceptable to her, and as the word fuck is entirely undamaging (because no, nobody is allergic to Common) then there is not any actual evidence of actual abuse.

noddyholder · 27/04/2010 18:35

I think its shocking to scream at a baby like that and use foul language at it.It may be able to be explained away bit it shows someone with a short fuse losing it in a public place so god knows what goes on at home.It is strange that so many people are defending it and aren't shocked.

jonicomelately · 27/04/2010 18:37

Verbal abuse is damaging actually.

catinthehat2 · 27/04/2010 18:37

For the avoidance of doubt I'm defending ASDA & clientele

asdx2 · 27/04/2010 18:39

The most offensive comment I have heard recently was a young woman say to her toddler in the trolley who was struggling to get into some chocolate was "open it then you mong" I was so shocked I couldn't have said anything even if I'd been brave enough Absolutely vile IMO

Madascheese · 27/04/2010 18:40

Proflayton - what you said

[would like to be that clever]

bibbitybobbityhat · 27/04/2010 18:40

Of course shouting at babies is abusive.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 27/04/2010 18:43

By noddyholder Tue 27-Apr-10 18:35:46
I think its shocking to scream at a baby like that

By biddysmama[the OP] Tue 27-Apr-10 17:31:20
she leaned into the pram said "why dont you just shut the fuck up" then turned to her friend and said "he never stops fucking crying"

Am not seeing the screaming at a baby here.

Pronoia · 27/04/2010 18:44

No evidence that the mother shouted (the OP states "She leaned into the pram and said..."), and the baby didn't understand the (debatable) foul language.

So what abuse actually occurred? How was the child damaged by this incident?

FioFio · 27/04/2010 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

noddyholder · 27/04/2010 18:47

Its a strange world when the mnetters who think its wrong are in the minority.I doubt she was whispering it!

skidoodly · 27/04/2010 18:48

When my toddler isn't around I like to do extra swearing to make up for when she is. I'll take the risk that my 12 week old won't be damaged by it.

Totally agree with Pronoi

Baileysismyfriend · 27/04/2010 18:49

Swearing like that at a baby just isn't nice though is it?

It doesnt matter that the baby can't understand what is being said, its still the wrong thing to do.

jonicomelately · 27/04/2010 18:49

Are you honestly saying that the word fuck is only 'debatably' foul language Pronoia?

Hopefully she'll learn to clean up her vocabulary when the child learns to talk but unfortunately, that isn't always the case.

bibbitybobbityhat · 27/04/2010 18:50

Pronoia - I am really interested in why you are defending this unknown person. Nobody took a photo of her and called social services. I can't understand why you are so adamant that we shouldn't find it unreasonable when adults speak to small babies and children in this manner. Where would you draw the line?

Pronoia · 27/04/2010 18:54

I would draw the line at the point at which it becomes damaging for the child, ie the point at which it is abusive.

I would NOT draw the line at the point that other adults find it common and unpleasant IF the child is not being at all damaged by it.

The whole point of drawing the line at abuse is that you draw it at abuse, not at common, or upsetting to watch/listen to.

skidoodly · 27/04/2010 18:55

Why should anyone be drawing lines?

One woman saw another woman doing something completely unharmful that she disapproved of.

If a line needs drawing it is one the shape of mind your own fucking business.

VeniVidiVici · 27/04/2010 18:55

I think it's fucking horrendous that that kind of vile behaviour is being defended.

But then I think there is a core of Mumsnnetters who like to think they are cool. And this coolness is largely defined by saying fuck a lot and defending any kind of scummy behaviour, cos everyone elese is just soooooooooooooooooo uptight right?

Fucking pathetic imo

jonicomelately · 27/04/2010 18:55

Why should we and our children have to listen to and witness other people's bad behaviour? I mean why?

jonicomelately · 27/04/2010 18:57

And skidoodly, if another woman is swearing and acting badly in my presence it is MY business.

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