To only want a 3rd child if its a dd and to want to go abroad to do gender selection IVF to guarantee this

[highchair]

controversial I know, but I'm ready to hear all thoughts on this subject...

I worry that growing old without the chance of ever raising a dd make me a bitter old MIL? will I always live with regret to not try at least uhm 3 times?!

Mothers of teenage/grown boys only, your experience much appreciated.

Thanks

"its very true yes that the people who judge the most are the ones with a mixed gender"

yes I have one of each, but i judge because I think thier are more important things to be concerned about, like the safe delivery of a "healthy" baby,

YANBU to really, really, really want a daughter. I think YABU about the gender selection though, but only because the male embryos are discarded. If there was a different way of ensuring a girl, and the money spent is not a big deal to your family, then I wouldn't think you were being U.

Yes YABVU. It is just wrong to do this. I have 3 girls now 23,20 and 18. I would have liked a boy but we just decided that if the third child was a girl we'd just stop there and be happy with our family.

YABU Many people would be happy just to have a child and many never do through no fault of their own despite years of trying. Be happy with what you are given in life but dont go playing God.

I have two sons aged 19 & 7 - I didn't have the second one in the hope for a girl. I am one of 3 girls (no brothers) and have always felt a little sorry for my dad that he never got a son....and i would have loved a brother!!

I think that is ok to hope for a certain sex but that you ABU to ONLY want a child of a certain sex ....i would hate to be that kid what ever sex it turned out to be

I agree with Manda, it is only human to hope, but if you only want a certain sex then it is better not to have another.

YABU

I have 2 grown daughters, divorced, second marriage and was delighted to be pregnant - my son Jacob was stillborn at full term. Be grateful your children are here and got here safely. I have since been blessed with another daughter - I am precisely that - blessed that she is here safely as so easily she may have been lost too.

We had ivf to have twins sons and we are now thinking about going for gender selection in the hope of having a girl. Only people who have not undergone ivf would say such things. We all know how traumatic a proceedure it is and noone undertakes it lightly. Go for it! There are so many bigoted people out there and especially on this site so ignore them! Re. clinics - where are you thinking of going to?

It might not work. What will you feel then? You will have gone through expensive and intrusive medical treatment, and have eneded up with a baby you did not want.

If you trust yourself to treat that unwanted boy just as well as your other boys, and trust everyone you kno to never let slip that you didn't really want him, then go ahead.

This is an old thread...

Damn. Old thread.

I know you said "Mothers of teenage/grown boys only" but I thought I'd just say one thing. My mum was not just a mother but a good friend as well. Make of that what you will.

OK, I'll go back to the baby name threads now ...

YABVU. We have 3 girls. DH and have often been asked if he wished wehad a DS,We say no we loves the girls.

not a mother of teenage/grown boys, but YANBU IMHO.
If you are planning another child, would be having IVF and you would PREFER a DD, then why not? if you can gender select, then by all means do so.

If you were planning to terminate a pregnancy because of the sex of the baby, then that would be unreasonable, but this is no different to people I have seen who time intercourse to influence gender selection, but in this case, its a dead cert.

If you feel you would like a DD (and I can totally relate to that, I was ecstatic when my second child turned out to be a girl) then why not make sure?

I have both and tbh I totally understand how you feel, I adore all the children but i'm glad I'm going to experience parenting both.
I've also had IVF and (whispers) it's not that bad if you already have a child, I cannot imagine how horrendous it must be if you haven't got children already.

Hm.

I have mixed feelings on this. I have various reservations about IVF. However, when it comes to sex selection I think, as the technology is there to do it, then why not? Just don't tell your existing children about it.
People invariably make comments such as "you should welcome whatever god gives you" Well true, but would you welcome it if you couldn't have babies at all? Because it seems to me that "accepting" is a lot easier when you get what you want.