To not want to serve beer at my daughters lunchtime 1st birthday party?

[Narabug]

Am I?

Its at my flat, and is a relaxed, jelly-and-icecream kinda affair, but someone is saying I should be providing 'cans of beer for the dads', we will be having some champagne for the adults after cutting the cake and I'm serving lunch and soft drinks, but I really don't like the idea of people swigging cans of beer at by babies first birthday, AIBU?

Thanks in advance x

Pistachio always look so cutesy with the Rose ones nestled in! Love violet too!

Pour the beer into champagne flutes for the adults and I swear the carefully-watching one-years olds will never guess

"...for the dads" sounds totally sexist, I will agree. However, I support the drinking of beer at children's parties. Horridly, in my area of North London, which is very churchy and a Conservative Party stronghold, I have been to many children's parties where not a drop of alcohol is served to the poor, suffering parents who have to endure the whole screaming, not-sharing-toys, injuring themselves, racing about on sugar-highs nonsense that always ensues.

Having a few cans of beer, a bottle of wine, some bubbly and a large supply of Gordons close to hand would certainly help create a more "relaxed atmosphere" for the parents.

It is completely your choice, if you don't feel comfortable with it, don't serve it. We served beer and wine as well as soft drinks when ours had 1st/2nd parties at home, but I wouldn't bat an eyelid if I had gone to a child's party at someone else's and alcohol wasn't being served.
Have you thought what you would do if people turned up with their own beer and wine tho? Will you tell them they can't have it?

"Pour the beer into champagne flutes for the adults and I swear the carefully-watching one-years olds will never guess "

It will also mean more people can join in a boat race....

we had an alcohol free wedding - condition of the venue, but also why would we wnat drunks ruining our day? - we actually had people who did not come because of that. and some who thought we were joking and turned up, had a look, and left and went to the pub instead. did we miss them? no.

peoples reliance on alcohol is sad. I am not up tight about alcohol but I was shocked the first time i was offered a glass of wine at a kids party. especially as grown ups were not being fed and we had all driven there!

stick to your guns OP, you make the rules, especially if you intend to have future parties for your DC. It is much harder if everyone is used to a drink or 3, to then stop serving it at some later stage when DD is aware.

Blimey, we're having my 12 weeks old son's christening party in a pub! It's rather a posh pub, but all the same , pissed is pissed.

ROFL at the concept of a one year old having friends

We have been to kids parties at Muslim friends' houses and they didn't offer alcohol but they did have food and drinks intended for the adults - salads, crusty bread etc on a different table. The kids had different food - sarnies, chicken wings, crisps etc. The adults still ruined the party by getting overexcited and scoffing all the stuff meant for the kids.

Peedoff: What on earth kind of wedding venue did you have? I can understand people deciding not to come because they would wonder what else might be expected of them? a prayer circle? Self-flagellation? Earnest debate on the state of the world and modern marriage?

Peedoff, I am at a loss to understand why enjoying a glas of wine or a beer seems to equal being a drunk.

We had drinks at our wedding, at DS's Christening, and at DS's early birthday parties. No Drunks spoiled our day on any occasion.

I respect anyone who doesn't have alcohol because of religious/cultural beliefs, or health issues or whatever. I wouldn't expect alcohol at a muslim wedding, anymore than I would expect ham sandwiches at a jewish wedding.

But in the same way that I might cook a vegetarian meal for a dinner guest who I knew was vegetarian, even tho I'm a confirmed carnivore, I would want all my guests to feel welcomed and appreciated in my home. And in today's society that generally includes offering them a mildly alcoholic drink.

If I went to a "party" and walked in, the host said "do have a drink" I'd probably say "oh thanks, I'll have a glass of wine". If the host then says "oh, sorry we don't have any wine, only soft drinks", I would feel uncomfortable for asking. So there is an immediate awkwardness to get over. Even if she said "What would you like to drink, we have tea, coffee or squash?" I'm afraid I would feel a bit bemused.

I remember my MILs funeral. The 'do' had been organised by my SIL at her house. Cups of tea, followed by more cups of tea. Everyone stood about, trying to find something to talk about.
After about 2 hours, someone was brave enough to say "well I must be going now", and within 20 mins all had left.

At my FILS funeral, again at SILS house, DH and I provided some bottles of wine/sherry/whisky. When we got to the house everyone was offered a drink (or tea for those who wanted it), and conversation slowly got started. The afternoon became one of reminisences of the family, and people were still there at 9 p.m., talking about good times past. NO ONE GOT PISSED.

I know a birthday party is different to a funeral, but I still think a glass of wine/beer for the guests will make the party more enjoyable for them (and help if different groups of guests don't already know each other).

Yes, given that the majority of adults drink moderately on social occasions, it's unusual to attend a social event where there isn't a moderate amount of alcohol on offer. If you are teetotal and all your friends/family are the same for religious reasons or because half the family are recovering alcoholics or something, it may be normal to you to have weddings, funerals and birthday parties with soft drinks only, but to a lot of people it's unusual and they are not too keen - not so much because they are all so desperate for alcohol but, because it's unusual, they wonder what other unusual things might happen at the event.

Hmmm... have to say that the idea of going to a wedding etc without a drop of alcohol leaves me cold. The idea of sitting through the speaches / getting up (or down!) on the dance floor / waiting while the B&G have their photies tooken without a glass of vino to break the ice?! No thanks. Do I drink at home during the week? Nope. Do I crack open a bottle of vino on Saturday night? Damn straight! If that makes me an alcoholic, then so be it.

Good Lord. It is possible for grown adults to partake of an aperitif or two without projectile vomiting into the hedge, and starting a brawl on the way out.

DS1's first birthday party was here at home, and alongside soft drinks, we offered wine and beer to anyone who cared for it.

Unsurprisingly, everyone managed to control themselves, and left in the same decorous state they arrived in. And as far as I can tell, DS wasn't too traumatised by the sight of a few people imbibing a cheeky sauvignon blanc.

I would certainly think twice about attending a booze-free wedding. My best friend went to one such wedding on New Years Eve one year. Not only no booze, but on NYE too. Most of the guests had vacated by well before midnight.

Booze Free NYE Wedding?!?!?! GAH!!!!!

For the love of all things holy - WHY?

In all seriousness - unless it was for religious reasons, why would someone want an alcohol free wedding? Not being snidey - genuinely interested.