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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to serve beer at my daughters lunchtime 1st birthday party?

215 replies

Narabug · 12/04/2010 22:16

Am I?

Its at my flat, and is a relaxed, jelly-and-icecream kinda affair, but someone is saying I should be providing 'cans of beer for the dads', we will be having some champagne for the adults after cutting the cake and I'm serving lunch and soft drinks, but I really don't like the idea of people swigging cans of beer at by babies first birthday, AIBU?

Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
nzshar · 12/04/2010 23:41

Personally I served alcohol at ds' 1st,2nd and 3rd birthday parties because they were mainly family and adult friends (with or without children)It wasnt until the Nursery year of turning 4 that he actually got some say in who came

thesecondcoming · 12/04/2010 23:42

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MinkyBorage · 12/04/2010 23:43

Tend to sit on passay's side of the fence I'm afraid

Alouiseg · 12/04/2010 23:45

Champagne for a toast is lovely and appropriate, beer has no place at a one year olds party. I put my foot down at my wedding and refused to have beer in pint glasses. I know exactly how you feel. Stick to your guns!

MinkyBorage · 12/04/2010 23:46

wtf is wrong with beer?

thesecondcoming · 12/04/2010 23:50

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nzshar · 12/04/2010 23:51

Alouiseq your last post comes across as extremely snobby and just plain daft. As has been said before alcohol is alcohol. Either have it or not but don't go on thinking that champagne is something in its own category

cassell · 12/04/2010 23:53

Don't provide it if you really don't want to but don't see the harm myself. I can't stand the stuff but dh got some bottles in for ds's 1st birthday party at the weekend and I was suprised how popular they were with the mums as well as the dads!

MinkyBorage · 12/04/2010 23:54

this type of snobbery is so um..........common . It reminds me of my mil who hates pubs (all pubs) with a passion, thinks they are common and rough, but loves wine bars.

AmericanHag · 13/04/2010 00:00

Narabug, your party (and it is YOUR party...one-year-olds don't care about parties) will go MUCH smoother if you serve copious amounts of booze. Most adults would rather be slapped really hard than attend a one-year-old's birthday party. It's nothing personal.

Parents have b-day parties for their kids for one reason: Gifts. So, as long as guests show up with gifts, who cares if they get totally plastered? A one-year-old won't notice or care.

If you really don't want beer served, please let your guests know ahead of time. Better to have them turn down the invitation than sulk at your party.

DandyLioness · 13/04/2010 00:03

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SolidGoldBrass · 13/04/2010 00:04

My DS 1st birthday party certainly involved lots of beer as he was the only kid there (but we didn;t give him any of the beer).

DandyLioness · 13/04/2010 00:06

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chiccadee · 13/04/2010 00:13

It's been said before but I'll wade in and say it again, your house, your rules.

Well done you for going to such an effort and making it a baby-centred day. I'm not really sure why it's considered so 'un-cool' to have a few-baby centred activities at a baby's birthday party.

You'll enjoy the champers way more in the evening when you can sit down and chill with a glass, rather than forgetting where your glass is as you run around separating out fighting children/mopping up spilt drinks etc.

thesecondcoming · 13/04/2010 00:20

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danmae · 13/04/2010 00:29

oh dear this reminds me of my ds 1st b-day. cute little jelly and ice-cream do. no alcohol and mil turned up so drunk she could not stand, she insulted everyone and they all left early.

looking back it could have been lovely if mil had been sober.

my dd is 1 next week and i planed to do the same as mil is on holiday but after reading thesecondcomings comments maybe a alcohol free party will be hell for the guests. after all i am inviting them cause i want them to have a nice time.

do what you want it is your dd's day if people dont like it as you say they can leave. i would let them know before hand there is no alcohol just incase they are expecting a knees up

sallyjaygorce · 13/04/2010 00:41

Do what you like. DD1's first birthday was a big old wine drinking party that went on until the early hours. She didn't mind.

cat64 · 13/04/2010 01:27

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ChippingIn · 13/04/2010 04:59

FGS

It's not a matter of not being able to cope for a few hours without a drink - talk about some holier than thou attitudes.

It's about being sociable & a good host. A lot of people would enjoy a glass of wine or a beer - it doesn't make them raging alcoholics.

You could cope for a couple of hours without any food or drink - but that's not how you generally host a party - what's the difference??

If you hadn't made an issue of it, I probably wouldn't have even registered that you hadn't offered wine/beer - but if it was offered I'd think 'Oh lovely ' and enjoy it.

Personally, I'd rather people came and had a nice time and I would serve what I thought they would enjoy - I'd want it to be a day to be enoyed by all, not a day to be endured.

... and "I'm totally planning on doing some activities that parents can do with their bubs, not just let them play while adults enjoy chatting" ... so, what have you planned for this then???

skihorse · 13/04/2010 05:07

YABU about your PFB. Nobody (but you) cares about this "momentous" occasion.

Bubbaluv · 13/04/2010 05:28

I recently went to a 1st Birthday Party (a lunchtime affair) and would not have dreamt of turing up empty handed so took a bottle of wine for the grown ups as well as the pressie for the birthday boy.
My point is only that regardless of what you choose to serve it is quite likely that people will bring beer/wine/whatever else they want to drink and they will simply assume they are being polite by making a contribution.
Either way best not to over-think these things as it will only make you upset if things don't go exactly to plan.
Obviously best not to invite raging drunks to a child's birthday in any case.

RubyBuckleberry · 13/04/2010 05:57

yadefbu

seving wine beer champers etc is a nice thing to do for all those stressed sleep deprived parents who want nothing more than to relax for the afternoon.

unclench a little OP

Picante · 13/04/2010 06:25

at this thread.

FWIW I dislike going to birthday parties where nothing is provided for the 'grown-ups', including food. I end up nicking fishfingers.

MmeLindt · 13/04/2010 06:41

YABU

It is a 1yo's birthday party. She may enjoy herself, she may not. She will certainly not remember it.

A first birthday party is about the parents, about surviving the first year and celebrating that fact.

We did not have a proper party for our DC at that age, just friends around for a chat and yes, we offered drinks.

Offering champagne and not beer is just snobbery.

traceybath · 13/04/2010 06:47

lol at this thread.

OP serve what you want but I don't personally think a bottle of beer will ruin stuff.

I would be wary of trying to over-schedule a one year old's party though.

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