To not want to serve beer at my daughters lunchtime 1st birthday party?

[Narabug]

Am I?

Its at my flat, and is a relaxed, jelly-and-icecream kinda affair, but someone is saying I should be providing 'cans of beer for the dads', we will be having some champagne for the adults after cutting the cake and I'm serving lunch and soft drinks, but I really don't like the idea of people swigging cans of beer at by babies first birthday, AIBU?

Thanks in advance x

Morning all!

Blimey, there does definately seem to be two sides of the fence.

Urge to clarify, I'm not planning on forcing anyone to do anything, most of the people who are coming with their babies regularly do things like this together anyway (be it at people's homes or at groups), when I was thinking about doing her a party I told people what I was planning and asked them if they wanted to come, and people have said how much they like the idea and and are looking forward to it - so I doubt anyone will be coming expecting to be handed a glass.

I'm not planning on shutting anyone in my kitchen either, especially as it doesn't have a door.

There is a buffet, with loads of stuff for both bubs and adults (I'm a chef ffs)

I'm not planning on forcing anyone to do arts and crafts (lol, can you imagine!?!) and people know they can come and go as they please.

Would it help if I refered to the party not as a 'party' but as a 'get-together-of-friends-and-babies-who-are-planning-to-catch-up-and-have-a-good-play-and-eat-a-hell -of-a-lot-of-cake'?

I'm trying to make this something people will enjoy (heck I'm doing all the catering myself even though it involves probably an all-nighter in the kitchen) but just don't feel comfortable serving alcohol at 11:30 in the morning. I don't think alcohol has to be present in every social setting to make it 'fun'.

But maybe I will forwarn people that I'm not planning on serving alcohol, then they can choose not to come if they'd rather not, I wouldn't be offended!

Gawd it would never occur to me to bring a bottle to a kids party
I would bring a present lol

and someone here has never attended a kids party without being offered a drink? Bloody hell!

I guess I am very influenced by my life in Germany/Switzerland where it would be de rigueur to serve a glass of bubbly at a lunch time birthday party.

Even for breakfast.

You could serve bubbly with orange juice, which makes it a celebratory toast rather than a proper alcoholic drink. Or with lemon sorbet as an adult dessert. Yum.

I think it's a bit odd to refuse to offer beer to your guests. Presumably they are adults who are capable of drinking moderately? If I was serving a meal I would offer alcohol.

But as has been said more than once it's up to you. I just don't think it's such a big deal either way.

I went to a 1yr old's party once. The children sat around a play table in little chairs and ate nibbles. We were expected to sit on the floor behind them and supervise our child. No food, no drink not even a cuppa. It was at lunchtime and we had expected to be fed as mum was a friend of ours. Kept having to nick cocktail sausages when the mum was out of the way!

I suspect that yours will be better than that OP

Unfortunately some people are incapable of having a good time without drink. Anyone who can be bothered to actively demand beer at a kids party probably has an actual or incipient drink problem and might be best not invited anyway

'get-together-of-friends-and-babies-who-are-planning-to-catch-up-and-have-a-good-play-and-eat-a-hell -of-a-lot-of-cake'

well there definitely needs to be booze in that case.

Gosh, I wish I lived in the UK! We almost never get offered booze at children's parties here (Switzerland). Once a few of us (non-Swiss) parents did get a few beers and ended up being the outcasts in the garden while all the Swiss parents pursed their lips and looked disapproving.

We've never had a childrens party at home without alcohol. PEopel will appreciate a glass of wine.

heading4home you need to make friends with the same people at MmeLindt....

a baby centred day sounds like hell.

Rockbird - I wasn't moaning that champagne was middle class; just commenting on the attitude surrounding serving champagne or beer. I am rather partial to the odd fizz myself - it is my Friday night drink of choice. I would never complain about someone ofering me a glass at any party!

OMG Orm I bloody well hope so! That sounds torturous!

No, there will be loads of other drinks (fruit juices, fruit punch, fizzy drinks, tea, coffee, pretty much anything you could name that doesn't have alcohol in) and 'grown-up' food for everyone (as well as finger sandwiches I'm making quiches, salads, chicken, dippy things etc).

I hope people will enjoy themselves, even if they are forced to be sober, believe it or not my aim is not to torture people. I go under the idea that they wouldn't be drinking at this time of day anyway usually, so why at a babies birthday party? I'd offer alcohol for a sit down adult lunch or an adult's party. I'm not a total prune!

Ok, now i've ben called a snob and bridezilla. Thanks ladies.

My dc first birthdays were a sweet afffair with the babies sitting on the floor and the mums having a coo at how quickly the last year had gone. The men were at work and as my friends were all driving it would have been ridiculous to have anything but a celebratory toast.

As for my wedding I did have beer but not in pint glasses and certainly not any with the meal.

I'm not at all anti alcohol but I think running a full bar for a babies first birthday is inappropriate.

Why would a baby centred day be hell? Just out of interest. I love doing things with my baby, I love enjoying time with her, as do the other mums I know.

It's up to you OP - your house, but I always served a drink at gatherings when my kids were really small.

It's more about the adults then than the kids - in fact it was mainly adults as dd1 had childless godparents etc. Also served some adult friendly food. Would have felt a bit weird sitting around eating tiny crustless banana sandwiches.

Once the children get a bit older, and there are more kids than grown ups, the emphasis of the gathering obviously shifts

Of course, if we're talking about people wanting to get pissed up and demanding a few drinks to get through the afternoon then that's a different matter.

A baby centred day would be hell because I am an adult and I enjoy and need to do adult things that dont totally focus on my children.
I enjoy spending time with my kids but I need and enjoy doing stuff without them too.

i like the way that a glass of wine( surely most people driving) makes it a huge piss up.

I think Alouise's post pretty much sums up what I mean about the attitude between the champagne and the beer!

I'd get in some fancy bottled beer TBH. Just to be hospitable. And some wine.

If I was coming I would expect a drink. Why shouldn't that drink be beer?

YABU and precious.

"the mums having a coo at how quickly the last year had gone"

this would make me want to reach for the vodka nevermind the champagne or beer.

because the op needs to control i think.

the men all being at work made me shudder alone.

Yes Compo that was me I think you're refering to? Yup, always offered a glass of something at a kids party because (and the clue's in the name), it's a party!! Doesn't mean I get / got legless. Am quite capable of having one glass, ta very much.