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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to serve beer at my daughters lunchtime 1st birthday party?

215 replies

Narabug · 12/04/2010 22:16

Am I?

Its at my flat, and is a relaxed, jelly-and-icecream kinda affair, but someone is saying I should be providing 'cans of beer for the dads', we will be having some champagne for the adults after cutting the cake and I'm serving lunch and soft drinks, but I really don't like the idea of people swigging cans of beer at by babies first birthday, AIBU?

Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
tethersend · 13/04/2010 10:21

My DDs first birthday was a celebration that we had all survived a year.

DP and I got bladdered.

It was on champagne (and gin) though, if that makes a difference?

bruxeur · 13/04/2010 10:23

Are you half way through an argument that started in your head?

Clumsymum pointed out that most "trained chefs" understand the relationship between food and wine. I just thought that if the OP was crazed on frosting from the stockpile, her palate may be a little shaky when it comes to savoury things.

A male chef wouldn't have posted the OP unless they were a recovering alcoholic.

dinkystinky · 13/04/2010 10:24

its up to you - your party and your child. I think a glass of champagne with the cake sounds lovely (we served champagne or pimms for DS1's afternoon birthday party and the guests were all relatively well behaved).

MrsShu · 13/04/2010 10:26

arent most chefs acoholics?

bruxeur · 13/04/2010 10:27

That is true. Look at MPW's hair. No sober person ever thought that was a good look.

MmeLindt · 13/04/2010 10:28

I don't understand you at all, Bruxteur. Yes, a trained chef knows that food can be enhanced by wine but that does not mean that food can only be served with wine.

A good chef does not rely on alcohol enhancing her/his food.

Which all has nothing to do with your cupcakes comment being patronising.

MrsShu · 13/04/2010 10:30

oo mme lindt watch this instead
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRTi7s4oxHw

MmeLindt · 13/04/2010 10:57

Lol, MrsS. How on earth did you find that?

SolidGoldBrass · 13/04/2010 11:11

Depends if the OP is going to have a fit of the vapours if any guests turn up with a six pack or a bottle, or not. Some people think a glass or two of wine makes a social occasion more pleasant, others have little or no interest in alcohol (or too much interest in it ie recovering alcoholics who want to avoid alcohol altogether for the moment).
FWIW though I am fond of a drink, I don't expect alcohol at someone else's house, so when people say 'Would you like a drink, what would you like?' I always ask (unless I know them well enough to know whether they mean 'tea/coffee?' or 'red/white/gin/beer?') - 'What have you got?' so as not to sound like either a wuss or an alcoholic.

DandyLioness · 13/04/2010 11:31

This reply has been deleted

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PrettyCandles · 13/04/2010 11:32

It's your dc's birthday. If you want to serve beer, go ahead. If you don't want to serve beer, don't.

IIRC, we had bubbly and soft drinks at our dc1's 1st birthday, too.

YANBU

RedRedWine1980 · 13/04/2010 12:05

The more I read the more OTT and precious this little 'tea party' affair becomes! Bleurrrghh!

Alouiseg · 13/04/2010 12:14

Tea party's are very fashionable and enjoyable, and babies are precious.

Firawla · 13/04/2010 12:18

yanbu its not appropriate to have alcohol @ a kids party @ all imo
if someone suggest the beer just tell them no, and end of issue

tethersend · 13/04/2010 12:21

Tea parties often have gin in the teacups, you know...

Hulababy · 13/04/2010 12:21

I am curious - why is alcohol not appropriate at a child's party? If the party guests include adults, why should alcohol not be an option for those that wish to partake? Why would it be inappropriate for children to see adults enjoying a glad of wine or a glass of beer?

DandyLioness · 13/04/2010 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OrmRenewed · 13/04/2010 12:26

On that subject hula, the mum of one of DS#2's guests at his party in Feb was worried because we were holding it in a skittle alley in a local pub. She wanted to make sure that I took her lad to the loo in case he wanted 'to..you know.. go' (took me a few seconds to realise what she meant ) because it was a pub.

Original poster
Narabug · 13/04/2010 12:39

Jeez I'm gonna stop reading this thread soon before I end up needed therapy!

Personally I don't feel comfortable with drinking at my child's birthday party but if people do at theirs, that is their call to make and I don't doubt that the children will enjoy themselves none the less.

If people bought a bottle of wine/some beers with them and wanted to drink them, of course I wouldn't get the vapours! Lol @ the thought! On the proviso that they wouldn't succumb to one if they found out that alcohol wouldn't be on offer at my babies party.

I understand that adults want to be adults and enjoy a drink at a party. I like my adult time too but I do it when my baby is in bed, not during her birthday party. She is just too young right now to just 'run off and play'.

And if people would refuse an invite just because they couldn't have alcohol, well thats just a shame. I would personally say that is unreasonable but each to their own!

Oh, and thanks bruxeur, I was after an opinion on the subject, not a character reference.

Mumzilla signing out

OP posts:
ReshapeWhileDamp · 13/04/2010 12:41

at this thread!

OP, you need to stop over-thinking this. Nobody is going to ruin a first birthday party because they had too much to drink (and if they do, you might just have an inkling that they're that sort of person, and perhaps not invite them?). Champagne nice, beer nice too. (I'd prefer beer, champagne gives me heartburn .)

DS had his 2nd birthday party a month ago, we had two set of GPs and three mums of his friends swigging wine v happily (they all walked home). We agreed that the introduction of a moderate amount of booze to a toddlers' get-together was a Good Thing.

Clumsymum · 13/04/2010 12:44

I can't believe that it is SOOOOOOO evil to have a beer or glass of wine at a childrens party.

It's beer/wine we're suggesting here. It's not cocaine, or heroine, nor Vodka swigged from the bottle (not even beer swigged from the can !!).

The HUGE majority of people in this country enjoy a sociable drink. It doesn't mean they get unpleasantly drunk, nor that they have alcoholic tendancies. It means they enjoy a sociable drink. Parties are supposed to be sociable occasions, so most folk, in my experience, would anticipate a small selection of alcoholic beverages to be available (not a full bar, by any means). Certainly I and my circle of friends and acquaintances would certainly feel that way.

Narabug, what you are sauggesting sounds lovely as a get together for parents & babies on a weekday morning (a coffee morning?). But it doesn't sound like a "party" to me.

What will you do if any guests bring a bottle? Put it away in a cupboard, or say to them "oh, thankyou, but we're not actually drinking alcohol today, until I deem it's the right time to open my champagne."

Lighten up, get some wine/beer, and smile.

lovechoc · 13/04/2010 12:48

when DS turned 1yo we just had a tea and cake party, so no alcohol. During the day it's not really something that we wanted, because it was just a v small affair and one of us had to drive back home (was at GPs house) so one of us would have been left out.

Do what you like it's you that's organising the party.

Pennies · 13/04/2010 13:24

I have been to dozens of 1 year old parties and every single one has had alcohol served at them. No-one got drunk or did anything out of order . They were all v. civilised events with posh cheese and everything.

YABVU. And a little inhospitable IMO as well.

harleyd · 13/04/2010 13:41

a kids party with no beer is like chinese water torture

Pikelit · 13/04/2010 13:57

First birthday parties aren't for children though, are they? They are Important Gatherings of Significant Adults to praise the Birthday Baby who, with respect, won't have the vaguest clue about what is going on.

If the guests can be guaranteed to turn the occasion into some sort of "Shameless meets Rab C.Nesbitt" hullabaloo then yes, perhaps a little restraint on the alcohol front might be advised. Otherwise, serve champers and provide some decent beers for those who don't want bubbles but do fancy more than tea. Or don't. But ultimately, YANBU to serve what suits you.