to be annoyed at this - even though I've been open minded about porn?

[BattyKoda]

Found out that DP rang a sex line, one of those thats on the tv. It's really got to me, even though I know he looks at porn occasionally, and I haven't had a problem with that, he has an extremly high sex drive and I cna't keep up!

How would you feel? I don't really know what to do... he's sleeping on the sofa.

If my dh rang a porn line I'd think he was a saddo.

Thanks

Are they about £1.50 per minute?

I'd be furious just over the bill alone

I've just looked a this bill. It cost almost £10.

Sorry about typos...typing quickly before battery dies!

Well he is a twat.

Sad women sitting at home smoking roll ups, knitting, who are not at all like the photos. ANd who get a bonus for keeping blokes on the phone for longer than five minutes.

There is so much free porn on the web, why on earth pay for it?

It was one where you can see the girl on the tv...

I don't think she was knitting from what I can gather

Are you upset because you think he might be arranging to meet a woman in the flesh? That won't be happening as chat line workers do not ever meet the callers (and nor are they the beautiful sex mad fantasy women they claim to be). Is it that it feels more like 'cheating' for him to be tallking to someone rather than watching a recording of people having sex?
If he wants sex much more often than you do but is taking care of his sexual needs with porn/phonelines rather than pressuring you to have more sex than you want to have, that's kind of a positive thing, so maybe you need to think about what you do and don't mind him doing in those circumstances and talk it through with him.

SolidGoldBrass - I think I'm upset because he's stepped it up a notch. Didn't mind the porn, but it seems that isn't enough anymore, so it's progressed to sex lines. I'm also upset because he hid it from me. He went behind my back because he new it would upset me. And yes... I suppose it does feel more like cheating knowing he has selected someone he likes the look of on the tv and decided to call her.

*knew!

I would think he was an utter pillock

and lose respect for him, for being sucked in by the luscious lovelies bouncing on spacehoppers

is that the kinda thing you mean ?

what an idiot to spend family money on such sexist drivel...what on earth is wrong with YouPorn and his right hand, the deluded nob ?

that is what I would think

I think he's a pillock, and I've lost respect and trust, how do I get it back? We're getting married in 3 months

I would be furious. This is defintely on another from watching films or looking at pictures. The step into personal interaction would make me worry for the state of the relationship & what may be next around the corner...

Sorry-another level, that should read.

How do we move forward from this? Should I go for a complete porn ban as seemingly he has no self control??

I am so sorry for you

You should be in the flush of romance and he is wanking over other Women on the phone. That is awful

I dunno, Batty

what is his explanation for such fuckwittage ?

I would talk to him.

If he was my DH i would tell him what is ok by me and what is not. So free porn on interent ok big phone bills by hotlines not ok. Looking at films or photos ok, actual people not ok.

You need to know what you are ok with and let him know.

As long as he is honest with you about it and you both have an undrestanding it should be ok. Ask him not to do this again as it is not acceptable to you.

I would forgive him once but not again after i told him it hurts my feelings

He had the raging horn and didn't think

He said if he thought I would feel like this then he never would've done it.

I shouted replied 'maybe you should have just thought in the first place'.

Definitely not a "complete porn ban".

This is the first time he's done it, yes? I would simply explain to him that you're open-minded about porn but that you feel uncomfortable with this because a. it's so expensive, b. he's interacting with another woman, not just looking at a picture, c. he wasn't honest about it (or whatever your reasons are) and ask him not to do it again.

No reason to assume there's some big underlying issue. I think some men don't necessarily appreciate the distinction between eg porn mags and phone sex lines and equally don't see using either of these thinsg as being anything to do with their relationships. Just explain how you feel.

if I felt I had to give my partner a "complete ban" on anything...whether that was porn, fags, betting at the bookies etc I would be seriously questioning if this was the person I should be trusting my future happiness with

Thanks Tuesday - we have talked. He knew it wouldn't be ok with me as he deleted the number from his phone so that I wouldn't find out. Feel betrayed. He knows I hate secrets.

How/where do you draw the line?

See I don't understand how you are ok with him looking at porn, but not ringing a hotline? It's all porn at the end of the day. Either you are ok with that or you are not.

I suspect you are not ok with the whole porn thing but now that you are actually confronted with it, it's bothering you.

It would piss me off mightily and make me wonder what he would want to move on to next.

Are you sure you want to be with this guy?

Ok...so a complete ban not a good thing then!

So one night on the sofa and a chat tomorrow about bounderies?