to be irritated at parents accompanying their kids on university visits?

[AmberTheHappyLuddite]

Why do parents do this? I've seen dozens of them in the last few weeks, standing on either side of their offspring like a couple of pot dogs... Why are they there? The decision of which university to go to is not theirs, it has nothing to do with them - these are young adults not babies. It seems bizarrely intrusive to me - I visited all of my potential universities independently, including one five hundred miles away. Nor did I consult my parents about where to go, I informed them of my choice. However, this was a few years ago and my parents put a heavy emphasis on independence.

Let your kids do this alone - it has sod all to do with you now.

Maybe because they care? Maybe because their offspring wants them there and maybe values their thoughts? Maybe because they like to know where their son or daughter will be for the next three years? Maybe because your children are still your children when they're grown up?

Bully for you that you were so independent Touch of the green-eyed monster maybe?

Agree with Rockbird.

May be because they are the ones who are paying !!

Perhaps they think it does have something to do with them, if they are paying top up fees?

Admittedly this is something I think is pretty odd. But then when I got to uni the place was stuffed to the gills with 18 year olds who couldn't operate a washing machine or whose mums came at the weekend to do their washing up and change their sheets. That's odder, surely?

I agree and do think it is very odd. I went all over the country to look at unis completely on my own. I wonder if it has something to do the fact that parents have a bigger financial investment than pre-tuition fees days?

I used to curl my lip at this

until I realised I was just angry that other people's families were closer and, well, better than mine

now I don't have a problem with parents supporting their children for as long as they and their children want - and I imagine I will be right there when my boys are making these choices.

it might be everything to do with the parents if they are footing the bill! and maybe the kids want support from them?

V odd post.

YADefBVU

and what Rockbird says.

I visited 2 universities- one my parents drove me to, so I was kind of stuck with them , not to mention that I was hideously sick on the day and was grateful of someone to practically drag me around campus.
The second, the one I actually picked, was further away but I went on my own on the train. I have to say, I was in the minority not to have my parents with me that day. BUT it was a v green wellies uni, and tbh the parents would be paying, whereas I was loans all the way and literally not a penny from my parents. If I were paying that money, I'd want to nose around where it was being spent too.

FFS, perhaps they wanted their parents there and perhaps the parents wanted to be there?

Get over yourself. Your way isn't necessarily the right way.

Should add that my parents did care about my education but trusted me to make the right decision. I hope to do the same with my dc.

I would like to think I'd go with my children so that if they asked for my opinion, I would be able to give an educated one rather than a woolly "go with whatever you like".

When I went on a uni visit my dad came - it was far away and I wanted the company. Plus I was effectively leaving home so he wanted to spend the time with me. I wouldn't have dreamt of telling him not to come, why shouldn't he see where I'm going? He had nothing to do with my ctual decision.

I do remember another very po faced parent there though - she asked if the dorms were single sex and was answered by a loud (possibly drunken) cheer from the open window next to us. My dad nearly wee'd himself laughing while she gave him a very stoney glare. Brilliant.

Well. Other than a house it's the biggest purchase they are likely to make. I think I'll be there.

Depends on how involved the parents are: mine came with me to look at universities, partly because they were interested in where I might end up for three years, and partly to help me so I could talk it through with them. But they left me to speak to the lecturers and to make my own decision in the end, and I think that balance was about right - interested, but not adopting the decision as their own.

Yes.

YABU.

(since you asked )

YABU

Greeneyed monster? Yeah right

My parents are great and I would not change them for the world.

There is supporting and there is smothering. I end up having to train some of these poor sods who have never had to do anything independently in their lives.....

I would like to be there if mine decide to go to university. I agree with wonderingwondering its important to give them space to speak to lecturers etc but there is no harm in accompanying them to give support, especially if you are going to end up paying for accommodation.

I went on my own to look at universities, it wasn't that my mum didn't care but she felt that I was old enough to decide myself!

I also went to university by myself, on the train. I was actually grateful to have said my goodbyes to my family at home rather than in front of an audience.

However I have a sneaky feeling that when my DC go I won't be as keen to allow them independance!

yabu

some kids want their parents there

dd went on her own last summer, albeit I drove to Sheffield with her and 2 friends as it was much cheaper than the train. They went to ODay on their own though while I shopped.

Why do you care though?

I'm not sure I would want my 17 yr old travelling alone 15 miles to a uni interview.What if a train doesn't run and they are stranded for the night.At least an adult has credit cards to pay for a hotel. I think it is very odd and uncaring not to support your child in something like this?

one of my friends has started visiting uni's (shes only just 18) she took her mum, her dad, and me with her because she wanted other peoples inputs on things. she wanted us to ask questions and pick up on things she wouldnt.

def sounds like a touch of the green eyed monster!

My parents went with me, and that was over 2 decades ago

Not to smother me, but they wanted to share in the whole experience.

I left home at 18 to go to uni and never went back - so hardly cosseted.