Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that when you visit someone's house you take your own toiletries?

108 replies

JannerBird · 11/04/2010 15:44

Have MIL staying who made a comment this morning that she couldn't find any shower gel in the shower. I said that there was probably some in the cupboard (as that's where I keep it).

I always take my own shower gel, toothpaste etc. when I stay at other people's houses and would feel really cheeky using their stuff.

AIBU or is she?

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 11/04/2010 15:49

Shower gel, shampoo, yes (they might have posh expensive ones, or you might like to use a certin brand).

Toothpaste no.

purplepeony · 11/04/2010 15:54

If we have guests I offer them the use of the shower gel etc if they wish to use what we have.

9/10 times they bring and prfer their own.

I think as a good host you should offer- you wouldn't expect them to bring their own bar of soap to wash their hands would you- or their own loopapaer so where do you draw the line?

pigletmania · 11/04/2010 15:59

YAB a bit U, like others have said as the host you should offer the use of your toiletries with the exception of toothpaste. When my IL come from Italy i would not expect them to carry heavy shampoo or shower gel or would i my mum who comes on the train and does not drive.

PuppyMonkey · 11/04/2010 15:59

I dunno why, but I wouldn't expect them to bring shower gel... shampoo yes but not shower gel. I wonder why I think that?

kitbit · 11/04/2010 15:59

TrillianAstra, you don't take your own toothpaste???

I'd never thought of the "lines" as blurry to be honest, seems to be a fairly clearly understood unspoken thing with everyone we know that you take your own gel, shampoo, toothbrush and toothpaste and anything else that you habitually use like hairgel, deodorant etc. There's usually some guesty type ones kicking about that are offered but rarely used unless guest is unexpected (stays over after too much wine etc)

...or am I just unusual? genuinely interested that people turn up with none...

BigBadMummy · 11/04/2010 16:02

I am going to buck the trend here and say that I expect people to use ours.

I always put out a fresh bar of soap and make sure there are bottles of shampoo / conditioner and shower gel in the shower and clean towels on the bed.

I like having people over to say so just see it as part of being a host really.

Oblomov · 11/04/2010 16:03

I never take stuff when I go and stay with my family. My toothbrush, but thats about it.
I would hope that my sil's or anyone else wouldn't dream of bringing their own stuff to mine.

emsyj · 11/04/2010 16:03

I normally take my own, but always offer guests to help themselves to anything they need or want in the bathroom. I think it's a bit extreme to find it 'cheeky' for a family member to use your toiletries when they visit though so YABU. If I was staying with a family member I would probably use their stuff to save lugging toiletries around.

DramaInPyjamas · 11/04/2010 16:04

I would take a toothbrush, hair brush, deodrant.. Personal things.
If I was a guest in someones home, I would expect to be allowed to use the shower-gel and shampoo.

ElleBing · 11/04/2010 16:04

I don't mind guests using my toiletries.

I just put out the cheap stuff though and hide mine away. I am evil

Oblomov · 11/04/2010 16:04

why would you not offer toothpaste. We use a pump. Its not unhygenic.

janeite · 11/04/2010 16:05

We only tend to have family or very close friends to stay and I'd expect them to use ours - not my 'best' stuff, no - but would make sure I'd got some bog standard bubble bath, shampoo etc for anybody who needed it.

When I go and stay with people (again, only family or v close friends) I'd take toothpaste, deodrant etc but not shampoo, shower gel).

Scrudd · 11/04/2010 16:06

Depends really. When I stay over at my best friend's house I only take my toothbrush - if I took the toothpaste, what is dh supposed to use?

Also, I fairly regularly fly to visit a friend for the weekend, and only take hand luggage. Not allowed to take much in the way of liquids on board.

I wouldn't mind at all if a guest used my toiletries.

serenity · 11/04/2010 16:06

Depends how long I was staying tbh. If I stay at my Mums or MILs for one night I'll take deodorant and my toothbrush but that's it. Longer (ie more than one use) and I'd take my own. Before my sister moved closer she used to stay with us for odd nights and weekends and I don't think she ever bought more than that. She's my sister - don't think my shower gel etc is more precious than the food she scoffed while she was here

Random guests, well I wouldn't mind if they used ours but I'd also not be insulted if they bought their own.

geordieminx · 11/04/2010 16:07

I would/am more than happy for people that come ans stay to use my shampoo/shower gel/tooth paste,and do the same when visiting family. Itsa only a night or 2 - not like we dont have enough..

fernie3 · 11/04/2010 16:08

we tend to take our own toothpaste but not shower gel etc. If people come here I generally dont care what they use, if its out in the bathroom it is for everyone (I do have one or two things I keep away for me but thats mainly away from the kids!)

SoupDragon · 11/04/2010 16:09

She's family!

I couldn't care one way or another. Sometimes I leave out stolen hotel miniatures if I'm feeling poncey.

McDreamy · 11/04/2010 16:10

I have a little pot that I fill with hotel shower gel/minatures etc. People mostly bring there own but it's there for those that forget something.

JJ · 11/04/2010 16:10

I assume people will use ours when they visit. Don't care if they don't though! When I visit someone, I always take my own because I'm slightly particular about what I use.

We stayed away with a friend of mine over the holiday - she told me to use her shower gel because it was nicer than mine. I did because it was.

LIZS · 11/04/2010 16:12

Generally speaking yes I'd take my own but if I hadn't (say you have a shower and she normally bathes) or had forgotten something then I'd think it is ok for family to use ours, if it was left out. I would n't expect them to rummage for it without asking though.

GinSlinger · 11/04/2010 16:12

I wouldn't expect guests to have to bring shower gel/shampoo etc unless they have a special brand they like to use

Original poster
JannerBird · 11/04/2010 16:14

Didn't mind she used it - not that precious! I just lug all my stuff with me - didn't really think that others wouldn't.

Always leave nice fluffy towels and make sure there's enough loo roll etc.

Just genuinely interested what was the 'done thing'.

OP posts:
Nancy66 · 11/04/2010 16:15

if I'm going to stay with family I wouldn't take stuff - it's just less to pack.

so yeah, I do think YABU!

It's only a thimble full of shampoo/shower gel for gawd's sake. do you expect them to bring their own teabags?

Clarissimo · 11/04/2010 16:17

I always take my own though equally if I forget hairpray 9always seem to) often nick a squirt if am at say mums

otherwise ytou take your own surely?

mrspear · 11/04/2010 16:19

I am a bit surprised by the OP as she is family?!

I personally am not bothered i always say to guests what is ours is yours while you stay! {and i include the fridge in this!}

Always lay out towels on fresh sheets and leave out shampoo/conditioner/ shower gel so that don't have to hunt; oh and toothpaste is always on show.

Deodrant would be the only sticky subject as both dh and i use roll on but i believe we have body sprays - from xmas box sets - lucking so that could do