to think that when you visit someone's house you take your own toiletries?

[JannerBird]

Have MIL staying who made a comment this morning that she couldn't find any shower gel in the shower. I said that there was probably some in the cupboard (as that's where I keep it).

I always take my own shower gel, toothpaste etc. when I stay at other people's houses and would feel really cheeky using their stuff.

AIBU or is she?

I leave out everything I've got when guests come to stay and tell people to help themselves to anything at all that they want. If I'm out of moisturiser or cleansing wipes or any other non-essential but possibly required item, I'd make sure I went and got some before they arrived too. (Obviously for essential items too but I don't tend to run out of those!)

When at other people's houses I use their stuff if they seem to have plenty to go round. If they're down to the last squirt of shampoo/shower gel I won't use it, but I generally have a selection of free sample minis in my overnight bag anyway so its no big deal. I'd always take toothbrush and deodorant though - I think deodorant is as personal as perfume (ie. you could probably recognise someone was using yours) and I definitely wouldn't use someone else's perfume.

DD and I just got back from staying with my DB and SIL, apart from her stuff I took my toothbrush, deodorant and comb (non-negotiable); toothpaste (in case they had something horrid); shampoo and conditioner (my favoured kind). I didn't take shower gel, which was a risk as my main reason for taking stuff like shampoo is against flippin' weirdos who keep their toiletries in a cupboard. The number of houses I've stayed in and thought 'what do you actually WASH with?' ... and no, I don't have a reputation as a toiletry-thief, I don't stay with people often enough for that.

We didn't take towels, and it was great as unlike last time they've separated out the people- and dog-towels so I didn't have to take careful note of which I should and shouldn't use, I could use any on the shelf.

Whenever I go to visit family i just about take my toothbrush and toothpaste, if I forget I just run to the chemist although when visiting inlaws I try to take absolutely everything I need (including towels - but that's because mil always gives me a towel the size of a face cloth).

When I get visitors I tell them they can use anything, but I put a fresh tube of toothpaste out and put the one I use in my bedroom as I can't abide the thought of anyone using it but I couldn't bring myself to say, "you can use everything except..."

"in fact my ideal house would mean I didn't have to share a bathroom with anyone including DH."

LOL - one of my sisters claimed the en suite as "hers" and he has to use the communal bathroom (which also allows him a chance to have a cigarette, since she went from being a smoker to non-smoker 30+ years ago).

He doesn't smoke like a chimney, though, fortunately for him (and any non-smoking guests).

Their son lives away with his fiancee, following University, so unless they have guests, they have a 2 bathroom + 1x w.c. downstairs home, with 3 bedrooms (and what was the fourth is now an upstairs 'office' over the garage, so her DH can work from home while he has chemotherapy sessions over the next 6 months).

i always take my own stuff regardless of whether it is a hotel or friend/family - but wouldn't mind if a guest used my stuff.

I think I'm in the minority but I don't think I'd even consider bringing all that stuff to a family member's house, or a really good friend's. I would also expect people to use my stuff, as they needed or wanted.

Shower gel, shampoo and soap are, in my book, the minimum courtesy.
Would not mind at all and always make an effort to provide nice ones for guests.

Would only really object to them using any expensive beauty creams. Would not like anyone to dip their fingers in mine.
I am also a bit bothered about using someone else's toothpaste so would definitely bring my own.

I would also expect them to use ours so I wouldn't take anything with me.