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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that when you visit someone's house you take your own toiletries?

108 replies

JannerBird · 11/04/2010 15:44

Have MIL staying who made a comment this morning that she couldn't find any shower gel in the shower. I said that there was probably some in the cupboard (as that's where I keep it).

I always take my own shower gel, toothpaste etc. when I stay at other people's houses and would feel really cheeky using their stuff.

AIBU or is she?

OP posts:
foureleven · 11/04/2010 22:08

I have a little set of all the bathroom essentials and 3 towels in three sizes for guests.. But I am hideously stepford wives about guests.. I turn the bed down and put all these items on the end for them.

But I dont expect anyone to be as OCD as me and always take my own stuff when I stay somewhere else so no, YANBU.

SixtyFootDoll · 11/04/2010 22:10

I get a little bit irked when we sstay at SIL's house and there is not so much as a bar of soap in their guest bathroom.

Whn we have visitors I always make sure i put fresh baar of soap out and new toothpaste for them. They are GUESTS after all.

TheYearOfTheCat · 11/04/2010 22:26

I never bring stuff with me (except deodorant, hairbrush & make up) and wouldn't expect anyone staying with me to bring their own stuff (and nor do they).

I wonder have I been oblivious to raised eyebrows and whispers that I have turned up without toiletries?

NoahAndTheWhale · 11/04/2010 22:26

Am going to my mum and dad's house for a few nights tomorrow and will take the children's toothpaste, all of our toothbrushes. I will use their toothpaste. May take some other of our toiletries. I would assume anyone coming here would use whatever things of ours they find and would ask if there was anything they needed.

2rebecca · 11/04/2010 23:22

I usually remember but sometimes forget. With family or close friends I'd ask. I don't see using shower gel as different to using a bar of soap. I don't expect guests to bring their own soap so why should they bring shower gel? I'm happy for my shampoo to be used although folk usually bring their own. Body lotion as a non essential I'd think a bit weird.
Draping a flannel over the bath to dry but not drip everywhere seems sensible to me. If You'd prefer them to put their flannels elsewhere just tell them.

Knownowt · 11/04/2010 23:27

I always put soap, toothpaste, shampoo etc in the spare bathroom when we have guests. I also put out a new toothbrush in case someone forgets theirs but that's a bit OTT probably.

I see providing soap etc as a basic requirement- I'd no more expect my guests to bring their own toothpaste than their own teabags.

galletti · 11/04/2010 23:29

More than happy for any guests to use our toiletries. Would expect women to bring their own skincare stuff cos that's personal, ie different skin types etc, but would not even think about it if they asked to use mine.

When visiting someone else however, do take our own stuff apart from shower gel and soap. Just a long established habit, I suppose.

2rebecca · 11/04/2010 23:30

We don't have a spare bathroom, but sharing soap, shampoo and shower gel and moving a few flannels around really doesn't seem like a big deal to me.
My guests are usually tidier in the bathroom than me.
Maybe slightly messy people are less anal about this sort of thing.

ChippingIn · 11/04/2010 23:54

Greensleeves - can I come and stay It sounds much less stressy at yours!!

Generally I take my own as I like what I like and I cannot abide sharing a bar of soap with anyone other than someone I would have sex with. Urgh. I would borrow some deodorant if I had stayed unexpectedly and there was a spray on available - but I would never share a roll-on (boak).

However, if anyone else stays at mine I always tell them they are more than welcome to use anything they want to (mind you, after this thread I might have to add - but not my deodourant or toothbrush - it never occured to me that people would use either of those ).

nooka · 12/04/2010 00:18

I usually take toothpaste, shampoo etc with me, but wouldn't think twice about using my family's stuff, and would certainly make sure that everything I thought they might need was available to them. I'd expect to find shower gel in the shower, and think nothing of using it, or asking if they had some if I couldn't see any. If I was staying with someone I didn't know very well I'd be more likely to make sure I brought all my own things, but then again if I had a guest I didn't know very well I'd be more likely to provide everything and make sure they knew where everything they might need could be found.

VirginonRidiculous · 12/04/2010 00:19

Oh I love going to someone's house and being able to test out there products. That's part of the fun..unless it's one of those bathrooms with a 20 yr old bottle of Old Spice in the cabinet and a toothbrush with a pube in it.
I do like t make my guests feel good too and like to provide nice toiletries and my biggest fluffy towel. I'm not over the top with it but just want them to feel welcome, comfortable and a little 'looked after'.
That said I wouldn't care if I went to someone's house and there was just the basics to use. I'm going to visit the person not the test out the bathroom/facilities.

Tortington · 12/04/2010 00:24

i think YABU OP.

if i invited or allowed someoen to stay in my home, they would be welcome to use anything any everything in it - with the exception of the toothbrush. and my shower scrubber thing - as i wouldn't like my scrubber to scrub any one elses bits which i think is fair enough.

WinkyWinkola · 12/04/2010 00:26

I would expect guests to use our stuff. Toothpaste, shower gel, shampoo etc. It means they have to carry less.

Why does it matter? Although I was a bit annoyed when I found my really expensive moisturiser had been nearly finished by my dad's gf during their stay.

WebDude · 12/04/2010 00:40

I'm with kitbit and Clarissimo - I'd never think of visiting someone (including family) without my own gel, shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant.

It's not that I'd have made excessive use of theirs, nor from snob value, but my personal preferences such as how minty the toothpaste is, what "fragrance" the shower gel or deodorant had, etc.

If I was going to stay in B+B or any form of hotel (UK or abroad) I would do the same.

Anyone visiting would be welcome to use mine, but if there was something they didn't like, it would be their own fault for not bringing their own!

WebDude · 12/04/2010 00:43

Have to add that I last went out of the country 10+ years ago, so had not considered the taking of liquids out on a plane...

WebDude · 12/04/2010 00:53

"we take our own toilet rolls. They still use the shiny crinkly stuff! Didn't know it was still available to buy..."

Not that awful Izal or Jeyes stuff - gaaahhh! that was truly unspeakably bad.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 12/04/2010 01:03

I wouldn't dream of going anywhere without taking my own toiletries, with the possible exception of my parents where I would probably use their toothpaste and maybe shower gel.

I am at people who don't take anything with them, don't know anyone who does this in RL.
I am also at people expecting guests to bring their own towels!

thumbwitch · 12/04/2010 01:30

oo Izal toilet paper - my grandparents in Yorkshire used to use that - we always took our own bogroll there (or bought some when we got there).

Only thing it was good for was tracing paper...

I always used to take my own towel if going to a house party as there was no guarantee the hostess would have enough towels for all guests! But if going to family, no.

I am most odd though - I always take my own pillow too.

Chandon · 12/04/2010 08:17

I keep a bottle of shower gel (Nivea), Tooth paste (Colgate) and shampoo (Tresemme) in the guest bathroom, cost about 5 pounds in total.

I bring my own to other people´s houses, but often forget something. I have used MIL´s shampoo.

I think YABU, really, esp. with family.

overmydeadbody · 12/04/2010 08:26

Well as I only ever have people I like and family come to dstay, I don't mind what they use of mine.

When I stasy overnight with family and close friends I never take my own toothpaste or shower gel.

TrillianAstra · 12/04/2010 08:55

Rule of thumb:

If, at home, you would have your own one (shampoo for coloured hair, posh nice smelling shower gel, etc) then take it.

If, at home, you would share with your partner (toothpaste) then use the one at their house.

seeker · 12/04/2010 08:57

Friends - unless very very best friends - I would take my own.

Family - I'd use theirs. Very close family I might even steal anything particularly nice!(I'd tell them first, obviously!)

I would expect the same in reverse - i you see what I mean!

Bonsoir · 12/04/2010 09:02

I always put a new bottle of shower gel in the shower cubicle when visitors are coming. We have horribly hard water and I buy a very good shower gel that counteracts it very effectively. I often put shampoo and conditioner in there too.

I also put a new bar of soap, a new tube of toothpaste, a new bottle of cleanser, a new tube of hand cream, some cotton wool and a new box of tissues in the vistors' bathroom, along with clean towels and a clean bathrobe.

traceybath · 12/04/2010 09:10

Bonsoir - that sounds utterly perfect.

Definitely easier though when you have a guest bathroom.

I hate having to share my bathroom - in fact my ideal house would mean I didn't have to share a bathroom with anyone including DH.

Bonsoir · 12/04/2010 09:21

It's my DSSs' bathroom, tracey! My visitors mostly sleep in their room, which has a minute en-suite shower room.

I quite like the opportunity that having visitors affords me to go in their room quite legitimately and fumigate and -declutter tidy up!