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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that when you visit someone's house you take your own toiletries?

108 replies

JannerBird · 11/04/2010 15:44

Have MIL staying who made a comment this morning that she couldn't find any shower gel in the shower. I said that there was probably some in the cupboard (as that's where I keep it).

I always take my own shower gel, toothpaste etc. when I stay at other people's houses and would feel really cheeky using their stuff.

AIBU or is she?

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 11/04/2010 16:20

TBH I usually take my own stuff with me, soap, shampoo/conditioner and toothpaste. However, I have been caught out before and forgotten something, usually toothpaste or deodorant and had to ask hostess if I can borrow some - I hate having to though!

I am a bit fussy though about what I use, which is why I always take my own - but then so do all my friends bring their own when they come to stay, so not that unusual!

Hand soap I don't bother - usually use whatever's there and expect friends will do the same at mine.

badgermonkey · 11/04/2010 16:22

I usually bring my own stuff but if I forget I'll grab some shower gel - can't see the harm myself, and I don't mind people using mine either. I wouldn't use someone else's hair products automatically but I might ask if there was something I'd forgotten.

Niecie · 11/04/2010 16:35

I usually take everything when going to stay with people. It's easy enough and you don't have to keep asking or root around in somebody else's bathroom. Plus I don't like overly scented things so easier to use my own.

I suppose the cut off over what is expected and what is not, for me anyway, is whether it would fit in your washbag. So, although MIL brings all her stuff with her, I still leave out a bottle of bubble bath for her because it is a big thing and if it were me, I would probably not take it and then miss my bubbles when I had a bath.

Mind you, how she manages to get through the best part of a biggish bottle of bubbles in a 3 night stay is beyond me. I can only assume she must be drinking it. Or perhaps she can't find any toothpaste and is using it to brush her teeth.

purplepeony · 11/04/2010 16:36

I take my own toothapste as I think it can be unhygenic using someone else's if your brush goes across the top of the tube or pump.

However, I always put out a fresh bar of soap and give guests their own towels. I would also go as far as putting cotton wool balls if they want to take off make up, and tissues in the bedroom.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 11/04/2010 16:36

I would never use anyone elses toiletries and would offer some if people stayed with me.

CoteDAzur · 11/04/2010 16:42

YABU. I have a guest bathroom and there is always soap, shampoo, conditioner, and towels in it for the use of guests.

When I visit family, I take my contact lens solution and hair conditioner (because my own works best for long hair) but that's about it. Yes, I do expect to find shampoo, shower gel, and soap there. This is mostly because it is such a PITA to pack liquids & fly with them.

Do you expect your MIL to bring her own towels, as well?

Original poster
JannerBird · 11/04/2010 16:47

I don't EXPECT her to bring anything CoteDAzur and as I have already said I always lay out fresh towels.

It wasn't an issue, she can use what she likes, I was just curious as to what the general opinion was as I always lug half my bathroom cabinet with me!

OP posts:
Firawla · 11/04/2010 17:01

I think YABU its okay for them to use yours, i dont bring all mine when I go but depends whos house I was going to.

PotPourri · 11/04/2010 17:03

oh yes, you always take your own , but not to your daughter or mums house, or even your sisters.... so Yabu I think.

pranma · 11/04/2010 17:08

I nick the ones from hotels and leave a little selection out for guests.If they want to use hours they are welcome though.

SuSylvester · 11/04/2010 17:09

nevr take ALl fo it
alwyas manage to froget

Bumperliouzzzzzz · 11/04/2010 17:43

I usually take stuff, but only because I have miniatures in my toiletry bag that I never clear out, but at close family and close friends I wouldn't worry about using theirs. Wouldn't worry about guests using mine either.

Maize · 11/04/2010 17:43

I don't take much to other people's houses, esp if they are close family or friends. I expect people to use my toiletries if they visit and vice versa!

My showergel and shampoo and conditioner live on the edge of the bath so its there for people to use...

I always take my own deoderant (v.personal thing I think) and never use expensive looking things.

If it was someone I did not know well I would probs take my own stuff.

When I visit my MIL and PIL I take my own shampoo and conditioner because the stuff they use is vile!

BitOfFun · 11/04/2010 17:47

I'd help myself to whatever I find, but get annoyed if they use the last bit of my conditioner etc.

SuSylvester · 11/04/2010 17:48

god yes id put stuff out for them
i think the OP is a bit tighe

bigstripeytiger · 11/04/2010 17:49

I make sure there are enough toiletries in the guest bathroom, so that people can use things if they need to.

SuSylvester · 11/04/2010 17:53

a bit tight
frigging keyboard

schroeder · 11/04/2010 17:58

I would always take my own, and when people stay here they usually bring there own toiletries and towels. If they needed anything I would be happy to provide of course. We are not an hotel so do not have a guest bathroom

Greenshadow · 11/04/2010 18:10

Would take toothbrush/paste, shampoo/conditioner etc but not soap (despise shower gel).
Would expect guests to bring own toothbrush, but otherwise happy for them to use all our stuff.

timelordvictorious · 11/04/2010 18:13

Nope. Take toothbrush and deodorant, but otherwise use what's there.
The only friends we ever stay with are close enough that they don't mind me shamelessly rooting through their bathroom cabinets, and MIL always has tons of lovely Molton Brown stuff she actively encourages me to use. (And an amazing power shower with a head the size of a dinner plate. I love staying at their house. Sigh.)

Greensleeves · 11/04/2010 18:13

god, I am not organised enough to give a fuck about this sort of thing

I expect my guests to make themselves at home - that means anything we have is available to them, although they might have to move a pile of shit if they want to sit down

if they need something and I have it, it's theirs

if they bring their own stuff, presumably I don't get to know about it because they don't ask me for anything

I don't draw little marks on the shampoo bottle to see who's pilfered a squeeze!

cornsilk · 11/04/2010 18:15

I would share everything except the toothbrushes.

traceybath · 11/04/2010 18:18

I also take everything and would think it a little odd if someone used my stuff but wouldn't mind too much - as long as they weren't shoving fingers in my body lotion/cleanser etc.

What I really hate though is the fact that mil and fil drape their flannels over my bath so I have to move them before using the bath. And I just know they're not just face flannels [vom emoticon]

cornsilk · 11/04/2010 18:21

Flannels that aren't for the face? Why would you need such a thing.

LittleMrsHappy · 11/04/2010 18:24

I stay at family quite a bit and have never took my own toiletries, they would be mortified if I did.