To have sex infront of 18 month old

[TwoDotZero]

We were having a cuddle that turned into a bit of a quickie. Ds was playing in his room and occasionally sticking his head around the door but generally not paying much attention to us.

Afterwards I turned around and came face to face with ds sitting on our bed, reading a book and showing me a picture.

He didn't seem at all bothered.
Thoughts?

otherwise you ask

"WAs this bad"
"Should we have done this?"
"How bad was this"

I should have also said I DO NOT BELIEVE the op was committing an offence nor is she a "paedo" some of you seem so on her case you seem to be itching to dial up the Child Protection Officers. Just be more discreet next time op. Some posters do seem "holier than thou" about sex it is possible to enjoy sex after the birth of a child FFS and fit it in your life without involving dcs. But rocknstroll you are just being ironic aren't you? If not you err too much onto the dark sidein your views. No one would seriously "enjoy shagging" in front of their dc's, what are you trying to say?

and she made the decision at the time to carry on and stands by it - so presumably the next time this situation happens she will amke the same decision.

Right. So we have here- a quick (somewhat careless) fumble under a duvet, in the context of a loving relationship/family setting, getting caught out by the dc EQUALS settling dc down in front of porn, planning to do it as a regular thing, being virtually raped by dp.

Good God!! Am I on the right site??or have I wandered into somewhere straaaange?

OP - I'm quite surprised by the verdict on this. I'm happy to be fairly innocent and prudish (have resisted the temptation to google dragon butter for 2 years now!) but I've been in this situation before.

I think your child being 18 months is what puts it over the cusp of unacceptability. We generally prefer morning sex since we've had DC, but we make sure we do it under the covers (like you did) so that if one of our 4 young DC walk in its not obvious. I'd stop instantly for my 7, 5 or 3 year old walking in, for sure. But we don't stop if the baby (in cot in our room) wakes up (unless he starts crying) as the angle the beds are at he can't see anything, and I don't think he'd be interested anyway. I'm sure that with our eldest it gradually dawned on us that she was old enough that it was wrong to continue with her in the room. She wasn't walking at 18 months, so would be safely sleeping in her cot, but one day I saw her peering over the bars at me when we'd just finished. We were a bit and arranged moving to someplace where she could have her own bedroom as quickly as we could!

As to all those who are asking why you were having sex with your 18 month old unattended, I wonder how many of those women are mnetting with an 18 month old unattended in another room? Surely not just me?!

agree with your post
Planning to do it too strong a term, but I don;t get the impression she will try to hard to make sure it doesn't happen again. If he;s wandering about and they fancy a quickie next time, for example

This is a bit weird but not as weird as a story that another mum at toddlers told me...

She is a bit of a "hippy" type, her and her DP and her two kids all sleep in the same bed. Jokingly, I asked how they conceived DS2 if DS1 was always in the bed. She told me that they regularly have sex whilst the kids ARE SLEEPING IN THE BED NEXT TO THEM! What the fucking fuck?! I was torn between puking up in front of her and phoning the NSPCC. I just chose to avoid the mad cow instead. Some people, eh?

Have just seen this thread but for what its worth I think that the reason why most people are so aghast is because the OP carried on. I've got three dc's and there've been many times where we've been interrupted just as the mood was taking us. It's the equivilent of a cold shower - in fact this happens if you even hear them coming up the stairs.

To carry on and not stop is unimaginable to most parents.

Dittany, accusing people of not being able to say no to sex with their husbands is fairly disrespectful. But hey ho.

as mentioned previously the op said she posted in the wrong board, possibly because she was guarenteed immediate response.

Due to the board name AIBU..i'm sure she struggled to think of a way to phrase the title properly and just wrote the first thing to enter her head...that is my assumption..innocent until proven guilty.

We all agree the title is unpleasent and the majority of people either wouldn't have sex or would stop if a child came into the room.

Perhapse dc was playing in the room and looked through now and again at mum and dad in bed chatting and they thought in, between dc visits...in a silly giggley way..lets have a 2 min romp about. I didn't get the impression it was candles, massage and mills and boon style passions aflame stuff. Like I said, Is it possible that they just got carried away for a moment, looked up and there was dc sitting on the bed? I know my dc can sneak up on me like little ninjas.

THIS IS NOT A HANGING OFFENCE!

she may have asked at what age it is innappropriate to have sex with dc in the room as a straight forward follow on from "oops, this happened, will dc be ok, have other people done this...when did you stop...IYSWIM.

There is a load of jumping to conclusions, judgement and "string em up" going on.

As a new poster, I am finding it a mixture of horror and LMAO.

I've not read all the posts but got the drift of the direction this went!

We're a naked house and people seem to gather in my bed for cuddles. There have been a few times with the children out the room we've started and a few of those been interrupted. If we are we carefully part and bring the children in. We're always covered and quiet so they don't see what's happening and they don't see it as anything different to normal.

If you make a big deal about it you will mess them up! They know we all cuddle in the bed and it's nice.

I forgot to add..

WTF is with the shock and outrage because her dc was allowed to play unsupervised. Why should a child be constantly under the direction/supervision of an adult.

I don't walk off and leave dc to play cooking with kitchen knives or open bottles of bleach but I do expect them to be able to play independently or together without me so I leave them to it. I may be in the kitchen making dinner, or upstairs making a bed...whatever...I am readily available when the squealing of "s/he stole/broke" blah blah or the classic thud and screech as one or both fall over the numerous toys they scatter about.

Accidents happen, kids bump and scratch themselves and fight each other and shockingly enough they are fine...cotton wool is not required as kids bounce{wink}

Thank god some voics of reason have come on to this thread!

I will put my hand up to admit I have done something similar on more than one occasion.

I can't remeber the details because to be honest IT'S NO BIG DEAL!

I think the NSPCC would have absolutely nothing to say about this at all.
They deal with child abuse, and this is not anything of the sort.

voices*

It was rude, though, Dittany- whether you framed it as a statement or a question.

Imagine saying that to someone in RL!

I'm only saying this because you complained about someone else being "rude" upthread. I think if you're going to accuse others of bad manners you should think about being a bit more scrupulous yourself...

SHJ you got there just before me.

Was off having a quickiedealing with RL. I thank you.

Amused by the poster who thinks it's better that their toddler turns on the TV and DVD player in their bedroom than wanders around the house. Toddler? TV and DVD in their room? That's healthier in the long term than them happening to see their parents having sex? In which parallel universe would that be?

can people really not see a difference between having a cheeky unplanned quickie under the duvet while the child potters about next door (and yes, ok pops his head round the door) and getting down and dirty on all fours on the living room floor with an 18 month old stood on watching or leaving porn on the telly while a child is in the room?

Really?

There is a word of a difference!

Some people seem to have a problem with the juxtaposition of loving sex and the thought that their children are awake in the same house.

Sex is not porn. A quickie under the duvet does not have to be "banging" with mum screaming like a banshee!

How the hell to all these extended co-sleepers end up with more than one child?

and I don't read this as the OP asking for opinions so that she and her DH could make a habit of shagging in front of the toddler.

Hear Hear Mrs Boogie

lmao this thread is hilarious. sounds like some of you could do with a spontaneous fumble under the duvet .

I am prudish enough to never walk around the house naked, even on my own; am just not a nudity fan (not even when I was size 8). Hung-up? Maybe!I couldn't care less, honestly!
But sex is a different matter; I have no hang-ups about sex, but like Woody Allen said, sex is only dirty if you're doing it right. And that's something I would not want my child to see, like ever.
And yes, her presence would kind of kill the moment .

cna we please not get away form the basically sexist idea that anywoman who has an anti opinion abotu any tupe of sex is therefore frigid or in need of " a good going over"

PLEASE GUYS

I am actually quite offended that some of you seem to think there is no middle ground between 'uptight nuns' and 'nympho'

In answer to someone who asked, I walked in on my parents having sex when I was two and yes I remember it and I remember being really frightened because I thought they were fighting and they didn't notice for a minute or two I was there. I'd got up really early. As soon as they realised I was there they stopped (and I ran to hide in my room). I know for a fact I mentioned it to my grandma and the vicar at church that Sunday.