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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking Mumsnet is not what it was?

381 replies

TurnOutTheLight · 22/03/2010 19:52

I have been a poster here for seven years, my first post was asking for help after a DX on DS1 regarding medication, I was overwhelmed by the amount of people who took the time to respond and give advice and share stories.
I remember there being a lot of jokes and support, one poster who lost family in 9/11 was an inspiration and at any time day or night there was someone about for a chat, it made night feed more fun.

Yes there were times when people "fell out" this is life, and the odd nut job who tried to convince people that 4 times the amount of calpol was safe but on the whole it was a nice place to be, however just lately (mostly since AIBU was added) it seems people are getting really nasty.

No longer can you have a good debate with out the usual stupidness and name calling, if you question immigration there is no debate you just get called racist, people with problems get called troll, the term Jog on is used daily as is daily mail reader, and I ask myself when did this site become a playground with the childish name calling, where are all the grown up, funny, articulate women who you could have a grown up discussions with.

It is so boring seeing the same old faces spouting the same old crap lines.

I guess someone will say if I don't like it leave, and I just might do that as mumsnet is not the place it was

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 22/03/2010 20:05

what did you want us to say TOOL TOTL ?

don't go ?

yes, you are right, everyone else but you and DaftPunk are boring and crap ????

think again

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 22/03/2010 20:06

YABU

KimiGaveUpStarbucks4Lent · 22/03/2010 20:06

I have "met" some really nice people here, some have become RL friends.

Yes everything changes, people come and go, but there is still a lot of support to be had here.

On the other hand (and not just in AIBU) there does seem to be a lot of sniping some days, and debates turn in to one track silliness.
I have learnt a lot in my time here, I have changed my views on a few things too, from posters who took time to discuss their point of view and take on board mine.

Do miss some of the old names though I have to admit.

Lulumaam · 22/03/2010 20:09

we have everything from bumsex to live labour threads to Xmas appeal, to trinity's house clearing, to Mile for FSID, to help with tax credits, how to leave an abusive partner and lots of other stuff in between

bibbitybobbityhat · 22/03/2010 20:10

And can I just ask ...

... as you appear to be on the verge of flouncing anyway, why the namechange?

wahwah · 22/03/2010 20:10

You're welcome, Lulumaman. I remember my first ever OP about optimal foetal positioning and I was a bit arrogant and nevative. You were very kind and sensible and made
me get the measure of the place a bit better and actually you were so knowledgable I learned a lot. Didn't expect that, so it made me stick around and I'm glad I did!

Lulumaam · 22/03/2010 20:12

well, that's just lovely to hear !!

thank you

it is nice to hear that something you said was not utter crapola

Dumbledoresgirl · 22/03/2010 20:13

Turnoutthelight, I know exactly what you mean and agree with you entirely, particularly the bit about AIBU being largely responsible for the change in responses.

I also think MN has become too big to maintain the cosy atmosphere it had when I joined 6 years ago. And only yesterday I was complaining to dh about the fact that there is an article on MN in the Sunday papers virtually every single week now. I suppose some would be pleased that MN is so influential in the media, but I didn't join MN to be influential, just to share experiences and chat with likeminded individuals.

I guess the only sensible answer is to leave and I will, as soon as I have found a suitable alternative.

KimiGaveUpStarbucks4Lent · 22/03/2010 20:13

LuLumaam have you only been here 3 and a half years?

I seem to remember your name for what seems a lot longer then that.

Scardypants · 22/03/2010 20:14

Well with the number of people using MN it can only be expected that aside from the very intelligent people (me, me) you are bound to come across a few who can only claim to have degrees in bovine defecation and bolloxology and not much else, tis life

See ya.

ShadeofViolet · 22/03/2010 20:16

Why not have the guts to own up to how you feel? Why name change?

Lulumaam · 22/03/2010 20:16

yes.. it might be 4 years...

i think as i've not really name changed, or if i have, it's not for long, i appear to be ubiquitous.

KimiGaveUpStarbucks4Lent · 22/03/2010 20:19

degrees in bovine defecation and bolloxology
ROFL / makes note to use this in RL

EggyAllenPoe · 22/03/2010 20:25

i don't understand OP - you don't want to hear the same old names spout by the same old lines..but you don't want it to change either -

slightly contradictory?

daftpunk · 22/03/2010 20:28

Tbh...7 years is a long time...things are bound to have changed.....people move on..MN has a natural life span for most people of I guess around 3 yrs...

Original poster
TurnOutTheLight · 22/03/2010 20:29

Ok go have a look at In The News, David Cameron's wife is pregnant and see how nasty people are, and for what reason?
Mr and Mrs Cameron having a baby is a separate issue from his politics but some people here have to get the knives out and be nasty.

This is a site for parents and a group of parents having a go about someone they do not even know having a baby is really not nice, yet is someone posted "my 14 year old daughter is pregnant" 90% of posters would be saying how lovely and calling anyone who said it was wrong names and telling them to jog on.

OP posts:
NormaStanleyFletcher · 22/03/2010 20:30

Of course it changes. 'Tis the nature of the beast.

AnyFucker · 22/03/2010 20:31

no explanation for the name-change then ?

JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 22/03/2010 20:31

"It is so boring seeing the same old faces spouting the same old crap lines"

but

Mumsnet is not what it was

I'm confused.

How can mumsnet not be what it was if you are just seeing the same old faces saying the same old things? Surely that means it's the same as it always was?

Actually, it has changed a bit. I don't see the same level of debate that I saw when I first joined. Hell, I don't debate at the same level as when I first joined I just stick to the small talk and laughs now. I used to get my teeth stuck into a topic. Now I think I've done them all. I suspect many people feel the same. That only leaves the chatting.

Also, what has changed - mnhq got a bit trigger happy with the delete button and the more they delete, the more people expect deletion, and now it's all how very dare you, I'm reporting you.

However, bugger it, I still love the place. I know what to do if I don't like it any more, same as you do.

Amapoleon · 22/03/2010 20:34

I agree with you Dumblesdoregirl. I was reading a thread the other day and couldn't believe that I recognised so many names, only to realise that it had been revived after 5 years.

I tried to find an old How well do you know your Mumsnetters type quiz but couldn't, it must have been in chat. It had questions like who has 3 boys? Can you imagine hahahaha!

But things change and grow and not always for the worst. There are still some very useful threads and some lovely, kind people but I just don't feel part of it any more.

I don't like AIBU as it seems to encourage nastiness.

Lulumaam · 22/03/2010 20:34

hey noooooorma !! i emailed you and facebooked you and everything, and now you want to snog me !!

oh go on then ! mwwwwwaaaaaaah !!

to the OP - i remember a lot of , what i found to be quite full on nastiness and cliquery when i first joined , just like you describe

mumsnet is not a fluffy place

it never was, if anything , i think it is fluffier now..

posieparker · 22/03/2010 20:35

Can I just say daftpunk belongs to a racist, but legit, political party.

southeastastra · 22/03/2010 20:36

i think the usual good advice re children is still there. aibu is crap though i agree.

mrsruffallo · 22/03/2010 20:39

I think I agree a bit actually.
There seems to be an anti debate feel to the place, with too many of the PC brigade taking over arguments.
I get bored too.
It doesn't matter though, you can just take break/leave and find some real life friends or something

bibbitybobbityhat · 22/03/2010 20:40

I expect it is hard on you if you are a proper oldie and loads of people you chatted to (when all were fields) just disappeared overnight. Or perhaps you are one of them, back for a little stir? Who knows.

You just have to accept that loads of people love Mumsnet just as it is. There is no law that says you must stay and carry on posting.