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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

get police involved or not ?

294 replies

elmofan · 20/03/2010 17:26

hi , have posted about my ds going through hell by the hands of a bully in his class before but things have started up again yesterday ,
brief history = ds (11yrs) was beaten up last year by two boys in his class , he received kicks to his head & upper body & ended up suffering terrible headaches & having tests & an MRI scan which thankfully was clear so headaches were put down to stress
yesterday ds got punched in his stomach at lunchtime by bully then chased down the road to where the school car park is the bully was trying to beat him up again , ds has told me the bully keeps making "cut throat signs " & telling ds he is going to kill him , so i stepped out of my car yesterday when i saw ds running for his life & this boy continued to threaten my ds while i was standing right there beside him
no fear in him what so ever .
AIBU ?
i am sick & tired of going up to the principal about this as she does not seem to do anything about it , i intend to go back up on Monday morning to tell her i am going to have to get he police involved at this stage as she seems unable to put a stop to this bully . this has been going on for two years now .

OP posts:
Original poster
elmofan · 29/03/2010 17:30

littlemrshappy your poor sister , thats terrible .
snuppeline a glass bottle in your face , did this happen to you in school ?
i have been advised by the board of ed not to remove ds from the school as if i do the school will get away with what they are doing .

OP posts:
Buzzybb · 31/03/2010 19:23

Elmo sorry to have rushed off like that, I hope you wrote that letter and sent it off so that you can forget about it for the easter hols. You are really brave and your DD will be fine she will hopefully be going to a school with a very good anti bullying programe that her Mum helped put in place, she will also have a Mum who she will know will help sort out all the problems she may encounter.
Hope your DS is ok and that all of ye enjoy the easter break

Original poster
elmofan · 31/03/2010 19:32

ah thank you buzzybb yes letter was posted off this morning , had it registered so they can not say they didn't get it
god i reckon when dd starts in sept they will be rolling their eyes & saying " oh no not her again" when they see me
ds is enjoying his time out .

how are you doing ? did you see the snow the last couple of days ? madness lol
thank you soooooooo much for all your help , xxx

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Buzzybb · 31/03/2010 19:41

Are you enjoying the snow ?I drove up to the zoo the kiddies loved it but we were like the smurfs we were blue with the cold still Wicklow was lovely to look at all the mountains were white We are def moving back here I just love it esp with the sunshine we have today in Cork between the hailstones. Have a great Easter and keep us updated

Original poster
elmofan · 31/03/2010 19:48

the snow did not stick here thankfully , but its very cold ,
typical Irish weather , snow , hailstone & sunshine all in one day
enjoy the rest of your stay , & Happy Easter xxx

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two2many · 19/04/2010 13:54

ohhhhh just an update - we have received a letter from the chairman on the board of managers this morning , he says that he is taking these incidents very seriously & will be meeting with ds's principal this week to discuss things . then meeting with the rest of the BOM on May 11Th Then will contact me after that . Feel nervous but at least they sent a written reply as i requested . ps - ds was kicked again on the very first day back after the Easter holidays .

two2many · 19/04/2010 13:55

sorry its elmofan here forgot to change back

Original poster
elmofan · 20/04/2010 16:23

Ds was hurt again in school yesterday
x pushed ds into a metal fence which cut ds's back & then kicked ds when he fell on to the ground . DH & i went up to the school this morning & have also sent another letter to the BOM to keep them informed of the continued attacks . The principal seems to be more willing to listen to us since i have wrote to the BOM does anyone know what might happen after the BOM have their meeting ? TIA x

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LittleMissHissyFit · 20/04/2010 16:29

Gah, elmofan, so sorry to hear all this, you must be beside yourself. wishing you all the best and hoping that the school can rid itself of this hideous bully, hoping that the police can help too.

LittleMissHissyFit · 20/04/2010 16:32

Can you not MAKE this a child protection issue, call the SS yourself on the actual school?

Could you write to your MP, AND call in the police. TBH, I'd be on the phone to the police as of now, this is not bullying, these are planned and premeditated assaults on your child.

Unleash every single weapon you can on the school and the bully.

NoseyNooNoo · 20/04/2010 16:38

I have followed this from last time. I think the Police need to be involved. If someone did that to me it would be assault and I would call the police.

Shocking!

When does BOM have meeting?

ChazsBarmyArmy · 20/04/2010 16:41

Elmo are you going back to the guarda on this? Take photos of your DS's injuries as evidence.

Sorry to hear this is still ongoing.

LittleMissHissyFit · 20/04/2010 16:42

yes, PHOTOS!! oh and take him to the Dr to get it logged too!

Original poster
elmofan · 20/04/2010 16:44

Thanks littlemiss , Have been advised to wait until the BOM have had their meeting to see if they will invite DH & myself to a meeting (all this waiting while ds gets hurt grrrr ) & if i am still not happy then the final step would be to get the HSE involved . The principal told us this morning that she is going to hold X back indefinitely from now on so that is 1 huge relief as ds will be able to get down the avenue safely . Now the principal is going to keep x in at break time for the rest of this week . We are so fed up tbh , The principal has told us that x is being referred to a therapist as he has anger issues .

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Joolyjoolyjoo · 20/04/2010 16:46

So sorry to hear this, elmofan- it sounds like a nightmare. Am very shocked that the principal has been so useless and I agree that you should involve the police and take photos of your poor ds's injuries I would be raging by now (not helpful, I know)

Really hope you get it sorted out

Original poster
elmofan · 20/04/2010 16:52

sorry x posted with Nosey & Chazs , yy i have taken photo's of ds's back as there is a 3" cut to his middle back just at his left lung . The BOm meeting is may 11Th . Haven't gone back to the police yet or our gp ,Do you think our GP could give me a letter stating ds's headaches & now eczema is down to the stress of the bullying situation ?

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Original poster
elmofan · 20/04/2010 16:57

Thanks jooly - Principal seems to have bucked up a little this morning , amazing it took us going to the Bom before she would help ds .

OP posts:
Joolyjoolyjoo · 20/04/2010 17:18

I can't see the harm in getting a letter from your GP. It sounds like the principal is somehow having a hard time taking this as seriously as she should be, so the more factual "official" evidence you have, in writing, the less easily she can dismiss it.

very and on your behalf

Original poster
elmofan · 20/04/2010 17:30

Well i reckon it might help to have a GP's letter if we do get to have a meeting with the BOM's . thanks again jooly x
The principal told us this morning that ds should not take x's kicking & punching as "personal" as x is hurting a lot of children not just ds . But later admitted that x does seem to be more violent towards our ds . I swear i all most laughed at her being so pathetic .

OP posts:
padraig · 20/04/2010 18:25

YANBU.

As someone who was bullied at school I know that it takes a LOT for bullies to stop.

Do what you have to.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 20/04/2010 18:25

That's even worse! If x is hurting lots of chidren, surely that is even more reason why something must be done! So she can't even say it is a "personality clash" between this boy and your ds- it is very definitely obviously x that is at fault, and yet she actually suggested at one point keeping your ds back after school! The mind boggles, it really does!

Xales · 20/04/2010 18:31

Not to take it personal?

That is bullshit and the excuse she is going to use to the BoM that your son is not being bullied (because it is against everyone) so she has not done anything wrong.

I think she is trying to cover her own arse.

Please go back to the police and make this offical now. This woman is not going to protect your son and May 11th is weeks away.

How many more days do you want your child to come home hit & hurt before then?

Xales · 20/04/2010 18:33

Sorry that sounds harsher than I meant, of course you don't want your son coming home hurt /-:

Original poster
elmofan · 20/04/2010 18:37

thanks - yes it was suggested this morning that she keep our ds inside at break time to which i said " absolutely not as that will make ds think he is being punished for being bullied" both Dh & i sat there giving her looks . Then she asked me what do i expect her to do i replied "your job" . it really is unbelievable at this stage .

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TheLadyEvenstar · 20/04/2010 18:55

Of course they will hold the bullying little brat back...but are they ableto watch him all the time?

Sod waiting until the meeting, I would and DID get the police involved. Sad thing is in the end after just a month at his secondary school DS1 had to change schools. The reason the school gave was "We feel he would be better at another school" what they really meant was we cannot get rid of the bully because in this school there are another 50 behind him. DS1 started a new school and has had no problems.