"a full time mum"

[DuelingFanjo]

said whatsername on Relocationthingy.

Surely you're still a full time mum if you work. You're stull a mum anyway. no?

OMG! I can't beleive that anyone on MN still says they can't beleive anyone is getting worked up about something! Surely you all know by now that there is nothing you can't get worked up about!

I do dislike the phrase (as I beleve I mentioned ). I find it dismissive and lazy. Being a mum cannot be part-time. So the whole premise of full-time mother is impossible. And if someone said what do you do I woldn't say 'I'm a full-time EDI co-ordinator' because that's bloody stupid and not interesting. I might say I worked in IT but I'd be more likely to say I had 3 children - the full-time is implied.

But although we know there is no such thing as a part-time mum, we also know it's a term used to describe someone who is at home with their litle dahlings on a full time basis.
They are home (as opposed to working), full-time. And they're a mum. Ergo, full-time mum is an easy and explanatory phrase to use.
It's pedantic to make such a fuss.

I liked the phase part-time mum, full time mumsnetter, but hey ho...

Actually, just realised that in the letter to my GP that the hospital consultant copied me in on, he's written "was previously working as x but, is now a full time mum!" Meh, who cares? Especially as he also described me as a "delightful lady"!!

An International Women?s Day and Mother?s Day Event

Saturday 13 March 2010

Mothers March & Speak Out

For recognition and support for all the work
we contribute to society

Come with your children, relatives and friends.

Bring your banners, placards and demands.

Assemble 2pm Trafalgar Sq
March to Parliament Sq
Westminster, London SW1 ALL WELCOME

mothering is hard work.

The survival of the human race depends on the caring work of mothers. But we get no recognition or support. Only blame when things go wrong. And we?re even expected to do more work to feed the family,
often on the lowest pay.

every mother is a working mother

MEN: Join the contingent of fathers & other male carers
who support mothers.

mothers, this march is for you who are raising children in cities, towns or villages l Who are separated from your children or have lost children l Who are surviving war and environmental disaster l Who are seeking asylum l For you who are grandmothers, non-biological mothers and other women doing caring work l For you who have disabilities or have a child with disabilities l Who are fighting for justice for loved ones l Who have been raped l Who are sex workers supporting families l Who have been criminalised by poverty l For you mothers of every race, age, passport, income, sexuality and occupation l For all of us who are overworked and underpaid.

Our demand is:

invest in caring not killing

Called by All African Women?s Group Mothers? Campaign (MoCa), Global Women?s Strike (GWS), and Single Mothers? Self-Defence

Endorsed by: Kay Adshead (playwright & poet), Black Women?s Rape Action Project, English Collective of Prostitutes, Oliver James (child psychologist, author of Affluenza & Guardian columnist), Sheila Kitzinger, (breastfeeding and natural childbirth campaigner & author), Payday men?s network, The Peace Strike at Parliament Square, Wages Due Lesbians, WinVisible (women with visible and invisible disabilities, Women Against Rape, Women of Colour in the GWS.

Sign MoCa?s petition for family reunion:

www.PetitionOnline.com/MumsKids/petition.html

For info on disability access and facilities for children, to sponsor or

to make a donation: (020) 7482 2496 voice/minicom

www.globalwomenstrike.net
[email protected] [email protected]

Orm, what phrase would you use to describe a mother who doesn't undertake paid work outside the home?

A mother.

Just like me.

That's a nice idea but what I mean is when somebody asks 'what do you do?', remember that question from before you had kids? There's a straight answer to it. 'I'm a ...'.

So the answers could be - 'I'm a part time teacher', 'I'm a nurse', 'I'm a full time mum' etc.

If you said I'm a mother, and so is every other mother, then I'm no closer to knowing what you or they do all day, which is basically what I'm asking.

I don't have kids but I'm various things - a feminist, a friend, a daughter. But if somebody says 'What do you do?' I know they don't mean what am I in a background sense. They're asking what my job is. It's a straight question, and it's easy enough to give a straight answer.

Well I don't know if I can remember the last time anyone asked me what I do. At the most I get asked where I work (its a small town with a few big employers). Perhaps I move in the wrong circles

Well then it doesn't affect you does it. But lots of women do get asked that question and 'full time mum' explains it best for many of them.

Added to which I wouldn't say I was a part-time or full-time anything I don't think.

I'm a full time mum and a full time employee.
I'm not offended if someone says they are a "full time mum". But, I also think they should acknowledge that I have two full time while they have one.

When I get asked what I do I always say that I dont work as I gave up work to look after my children.

I dont really like to give it a name (ie, full-time mum, SAHM etc).

I definitely wouldnt regard myself as unemployed because to me that is someone who is looking for work (hence the benefit payable called jobseakers allowance). I claim no unemployment benefit/jobseakers because I am not seaking employment.

Simple.

1.....I do all those jobs that you are stupid enough to pay someone else to do.

2..I run a small family business.

3...I dont have a paid job outside the home,I dont have time.

It's all about 'what do you do' vs. 'what are you', isn't it?

Personally, I 'do' a part-time job when I'm not looking after my son. I define myself by neither role in isolation as I am more than the sum of my parts

I'm a part-time finance director
I'm a part-time carer
I'm a full time parent.

If you are full time parent, what happens when your child goes to school? do you become a part-time parent/part-time unemployed person

My mum was a housewife.

My kids go to school so I'm only part time and can amuse myself with a little job.

I would just say "I am working my way through a portfolio career which encompasses a variety of occupations" which, let's face it, is pretty true for a lot of people, 'full time mums' or not.

"I'm not offended if someone says they are a "full time mum". But, I also think they should acknowledge that I have two full time while they have one."

Do fuck off. Thats the kind of inanity that starts these ridiculous arguments in the first place.

Stop reading judgement where there is none. If you work outside the home everyday, in a full time job, somebody somewhere is doing the minding of your kid(s). They are wiping arses and giving purees or singing songs or going to the park. None of this means you cease to be a mother (fucking obviously, how could you possible imagine anyone is saying otherwise?), it means the you have contracted out some of the duties that go with parenting, for a certain period of time.
A mother who doesn't WOHM has not done so, and is doing all of the work involved in day to day care of children.

There is no judgement inherent in that, its a fact. You are still their mother all of the time, but you aren't taking care of them full time. That doesn't make one or other superior to another.
Being a mother is what you are. Caring for a child/ren is what you do.

Novel idea; stop attacking each other over nonsense labelling and try having a real issue, like how many women are forced into paid work by circumstance who would like to be at home, or about how expensive childcare makes women who want to work stay at home.

runnyb.
I've been watching this thread develop for some time now and you have just gone and wrecked it with common sense.

Whoa Runnybottom. Careful now, your bottom is running.

I am not attacking anyone. I'm just saying that parents (not just mothers) who work squeeze the parenting ativities into non-working hours. We don't delegate the whole of the parenting tasks to our child carers. So when I get home from work one job ends and the other begins. Same is true about weekends.

I wouldn't want to stay home. It's not for me. So this life is one I chose. But, sometimes, it would be nice to be able to do all of my work from both jobs by say 8:00pm and sit down. But I find myself doing the child related tasks which don't require the children to be present until 10:00pm or all day on the weekends.

Get a grip - it's a phrase. It's not meant to cause offence, it means, I look after my kids all day, instead of paying someone else to do the job for me, therefore, it is my job.

YABU

Maybe the phrase should be - 'I'm a nanny to my own kids?'

Oh I don;t know. A random list off the top of my head:

-Review homework / Kumon

• Make worksheets for areas where DD is struggling and school is not really doing the trick (mostly math, they are pretty good with English, literacy, etc.)

-Write a letter to GP for prescription -Write teacher a letter to see if I can get an evening consultation to discuss this or that which I am concerned about -Write notes to the nanny to say can you please do x and y this week. -E-mail other parents about playdate stuff -Make props for DD's upcomming charater dance. -Plan a birthday party.

I'm sure there are a million more things I haven't thought to type.

I always thought that life would get easier as the kids got older. But, I was so wrong. When they were babies/toddlers it was easy to delegate everything to the nanny / childminder. But, now I find there are so many things that I am better suited to doing than the nanny and so I have to do them.