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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is my dh being unreasonable to not one to serve a b/feeding mother at the counter???

502 replies

twotimes · 26/02/2010 10:02

Twas talking to the dh this morning when he brought up an incident that happened in work the other day. He was working in a a well known mobile phone shop behind the counter when a woman came in with her daughter and her three kids. Both the women were at the counter discussing mobile options with dh whilst two of the children were running around the shop. All of a sudden mid conversation dh turned to get a phone and when he had turned back the daughter had whopped them out and started b/feeding. And he hasten's to add - with absolutely no modesty, just in her full glory. I should note, the baby was *not8 crying or making a sound before hand. Was he being unreasonable to be mortified??????

Now this isn't completely serious, he wasn't rude, he just carried on serving but felt the need to tell me about it later. He isn't a prude, I b/fed both dc's and all his family b/feed that isn't the issue. What he keeps going on about, is that "she didn't even cover".

At first I just pissed my self laughing (I could literally imagine his face) but then I thought seriously, people should be able to b/feed but at a counter in a shop, with no discretion?

OP posts:
kinnies · 26/02/2010 10:05

Most people cover up a bit.

Good for him to have kept serving.

nickytwotimes · 26/02/2010 10:06

Well, that is what tits are for.

It's not the bfers fault that breasts have been ridiculously fetishised.

Personally, I have prefered in the past to do it 'discretely', but don't care if others do it or not.

Your dh needs to get over it.

At least he didn't say anything though, in his defence.

SpicedGerkin · 26/02/2010 10:06

'but then I thought seriously, people should be able to b/feed but at a counter in a shop, with no discretion?'

God no, jail them all.

bandgeek · 26/02/2010 10:08

Nothing wrong with feeding the baby wherever you need to, but I would cover up, there is no need to have everything on display.

MiladyDeWinter · 26/02/2010 10:11

I'll all for not feeling that you have to mind the sensibilities of grown adults when meeting the needs of a baby but no need to whop them both out I wouldn't have thought. Last I checked babies only have one mouth. I wonder why that was

kinnies · 26/02/2010 10:14

I dont beleive for one min that the woman really did 'whop' both of her brests out.

2shoes · 26/02/2010 10:15

I feel for your dh.
can't see why she needed to do it right there and then.

SirBoobAlot · 26/02/2010 10:18

I find it easier to get one side out when I'm feeding. DS will not feed with a cloth or anything over his head, nor, tbh, do I see why I should do so. My theory is that I will draw less attention to myself if I do it how is best for us, rather than him have a screaming fit because he has a cloth covering him, and me probably managing to cover several people in the area in milk I've fed at a counter, at an instant photo thing, on a bus...

I think your husband was unreasonable for feeling "mortified", but glad he continued to serve.

slightlystressed · 26/02/2010 10:21

Maybe she knew baby would need a feed soon so might aswell do it while she was standing still in a warm shop rather than freezing her bits off on a bench somewhere.

Boobs are for feeding babies, any other uses are secondary. If a silicone babe had walked in with a tiny top on I bet he wouldn't have been "mortified".

MmmCoffee · 26/02/2010 10:22

BF in public is acceptable. Flashing your dugs at the whole world in a shop isn't. While most people are at the very least tolerant of BF in public, there are an awful lot of older people around who would be absolutely mortified if they got an eyeful of boob.

It's a matter of respect, really.

KerryMumbles · 26/02/2010 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fishie · 26/02/2010 10:25

twotimes, please could you explain what "with absolutely no modesty, just in her full glory" means? it kind of suggests she stripped naked to the waist, but if she had actually done that maybe you would have said so?

anyway good for him to carry on regardless, lots of women feel very uncomfortable bfing in public because they are worried about people's reactions.

BadGardener · 26/02/2010 10:26

the fact that the baby wasn't crying yet isn't relevant because many mothers will pick up the baby's cues that it wants a feed before it actually starts to scream.

Top marks to your dh for politely continuing to serve, but he has to get over his being 'mortified' at the sight of a human breast being used for its natural purpose.

mrsbean78 · 26/02/2010 10:31

There's definite hyperbole on the part of the dh here. I have been bfing for three months and have been thinking about it for the last year so aware of bfing in public and I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've seen a woman bfing in public. I would be very surprised if she whopped them both out.. my bet is that he got a quick eyeful of a nipple.

I bf'd in our local park cafe (huge place), discreetly in the corner, and the woman at the next table put down her bottle and took out her boob.. it still takes courage to bf in public..

Also, sod older people and respect. On one of the very few times I bf'd in public, at Sainsbury's cafe, there was absolutely nothing on show of any description - I had a nursing top and a cover and was tucked out of view in a corner - and there were still They actually had to walk over to squint and confirm I was doing the dastardly sexual deed in public. I don't think it's respectful to be forced to feed in a smelly toilet, thanks very much. They can choose to look elsewhere.

displayuntilbestbefore · 26/02/2010 10:38

Bit at this because even being a happily bfing woman in public, I would cover myself up and sit down somewhere a bit more out of the way rather than standing at the front of the shop at a counter. Can't see someone just whipping them both out like that in front of people at a shop counter tbh.

displayuntilbestbefore · 26/02/2010 10:39

btw - nickytwotimes, are you related to OP or is it just a very similar name that might get confusing?

BadGardener · 26/02/2010 10:40

I've had lovely comments from older people while bf in public.... 'I'll have what he's having' being my particular favourite

BessieBoots · 26/02/2010 10:40

Actually, I find older people far mor supportive than young 'uns when I'm breastfeeding in public. I've had a few comments from OAPs, male and female, along the lines of, "Well done you, it's the best thing for your baby." Young people tend to look at me as if I'm starring in a porno.

bandgeek · 26/02/2010 10:44

I think I was lucky in that I never have any negative comments when bf DD (and I bf for 11 months)

spitandpolish · 26/02/2010 10:44

I need to know what 'her full glory' means before I get too judgy. My baby's head covers my boob when I feed and I don't strip my clothes off so I would think it perfectly reasonable to feed ds in a shop.

Missus84 · 26/02/2010 10:47

If he wanted to be mortified that's up to him, but really, what harm was caused to anyone? It's just a breast.

nancydrewrocks · 26/02/2010 10:50

OP you need to tell us what "whopped them out" actually entailed because I for one don't believe she removed her clothes and had both naked breasts on display!

I assume the more likely scenario is tha she pulled her top down under her breast (this seems to expose the most boob - but far less than a lot of low cut tops) at which point he caught a glimpse of nipple before the baby latched on.

Once latched on there really isn't any more to see that you're average teenagers summer top (unless of course you have huuuuuuuuge tits and baby has a teeny weeny head and even then....)

Bucharest · 26/02/2010 10:54

Come on then breastfeeders and not, has anyone, really, truly, ever seen anyone "whop them out" (I take it by the "them" she had both out at the same time too?

Sounds like KerryMum is right. Is dh a bit of a tit man by any chance?

BadGardener · 26/02/2010 10:56

I once forgot to put my boob back when I had finished
It was at dd's school Nativity play

ImSoNotTelling · 26/02/2010 10:57

Agree depends on what whopped em out means.

If she got both out then that would be a bit excessive!

But although I have heard stories about women getting them both out, I have never seen it, and wonder

a. if you're wearing a nursing bra it's more work to get both out
b. with both out lots of women are going to end up covered in milk as the exposed non-feeding one leaks everywhere
c. if you're wearing a normal bra I can't see why you'd get both out either

In summary I can't see how anyone would do this or why. It's impractical, inconvenient and potentially messy. Not to mention cold.

In fact I am coming round to the idea that women exposing both their breasts to BF in public is an urban myth put around by people who find BF yucky icky and weird.