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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my dh being unreasonable to not one to serve a b/feeding mother at the counter???

502 replies

twotimes · 26/02/2010 10:02

Twas talking to the dh this morning when he brought up an incident that happened in work the other day. He was working in a a well known mobile phone shop behind the counter when a woman came in with her daughter and her three kids. Both the women were at the counter discussing mobile options with dh whilst two of the children were running around the shop. All of a sudden mid conversation dh turned to get a phone and when he had turned back the daughter had whopped them out and started b/feeding. And he hasten's to add - with absolutely no modesty, just in her full glory. I should note, the baby was *not8 crying or making a sound before hand. Was he being unreasonable to be mortified??????

Now this isn't completely serious, he wasn't rude, he just carried on serving but felt the need to tell me about it later. He isn't a prude, I b/fed both dc's and all his family b/feed that isn't the issue. What he keeps going on about, is that "she didn't even cover".

At first I just pissed my self laughing (I could literally imagine his face) but then I thought seriously, people should be able to b/feed but at a counter in a shop, with no discretion?

OP posts:
Journey · 26/02/2010 12:17

Since the baby wasn't crying I think she did it just to get some kind of kick out of exposing her breasts to your DH. She could of waited a few minutes if she genuinely wanted to feed the baby.

displayuntilbestbefore · 26/02/2010 12:17

"as long as you don't actually start stroking them in admiration"

morning paper

Rhubarb · 26/02/2010 12:18

So far from 'whopping her breasts out' she got out one breast and your dh caught an eyeful as she was about to latch her baby.

Big deal.

BTW I'm sat here with my both jiggling out, look I'm wafting them around! Oooh, look at my boobies everyone! Shall I go to the window and jiggle them in front of the two old ladies walking their dogs?

twotimes · 26/02/2010 12:18

"If you are looking at the face you wouldn't notice." MayorQuimby are you saying you have never noticed somebody b/feeding? I know I have friends/strangers whoever and I don't go around staring at women's breasts. If you look at somebody's face, unless you have sight problems, you will naturally see what's around it as well - unless your breasts are hanging around your waist!

display good catch didn't realise I was using the wrong way

OP posts:
shonaspurtle · 26/02/2010 12:18

And obviously, by discretely I mean feeding from one side and then from the other. Not both as once...

(did I get away with it )

SpicedGerkin · 26/02/2010 12:18

He turned round just before the baby was latched on, he caught an eyeful of nipple, that can easily happen no matter how discreet. Unfortunate timing is all, nowhere in the op or since has it been said the whole of her breast was on display the whole time.

ronshar · 26/02/2010 12:18

I find it a bit strange that if you object to other people seeing your breast then you are in the wrong!
I have BF all three of my children. However I also made sure that no one saw more of my breast than they would normally.
Does this make me anti BF?
Does this make me anti women?

Or does this make me a normal, modest female who doesnt feel the need to advertise to the whole world what I am doing?
Quite frankly it is none of any ones business!

morningpaper · 26/02/2010 12:19

lovely bangers, Rhubarb

Rhubarb · 26/02/2010 12:20

I once breastfed in a pub whilst sipping on a pint of Guinness.

Nobody noticed.

They did notice however at the art gallery when I sat down in a corner to feed and my breasts, which could wait no longer, proceeded to spray a fine milky mist over a rather fetching art sculpture.

I wonder if they thought the milk droplets were part of the art?

SpicedGerkin · 26/02/2010 12:20

'It's completely naive and quite bonkers, imo, to think it's perfectly OK to hold a conversation with the man who is selling you a phone while your breasts are exposed.'

They weren't though!

DorotheaPlenticlew · 26/02/2010 12:20
Rhubarb · 26/02/2010 12:21

Hey MP, I gone and got myself a blog I have (that's me talking in a Wiltshire accent btw, I have it down to a tee now!)

Rhubarb · 26/02/2010 12:21
LaurieFairyCake · 26/02/2010 12:23

Hoping Journey is being sarcastic

as I can imagine no woman getting a kick out of exposing her breast feeding breasts to a stranger while feeding her child.....

OtterInaSkoda · 26/02/2010 12:23

MP - absolutely. I think it would be a little sad tbh if nobody reacted a little viscerally to the sight of a breast. Jeez, they're the only half decent part of me these days. But yes, I' rather they didn't start stroking them admiringly. As a rule.

Cadmum · 26/02/2010 12:23

I laughed very hard when I read that she 'whopped them out'. That would be quite a sight.

It is only skin. I just don't get it. [Insert simple emoticon]

Morningpaper more laughter generated by your post. Nearly had tea pouring out my nose.

Excellent thread!

displayuntilbestbefore · 26/02/2010 12:24

"I was discreet when breastfeeding. I wasn't ashamed. I didn't hide. There is a difference."

Tweedy - exactly. Just because some women cover themselves a bit once their baby is latched on doesn't mean they are ashamed or hiding what they are doing, They are just making themselves look similar to when they first walked in.
If doing that is somehow being ashamed then why do any of us bother wearing clothes at all?
I wouldn't sit with my top off in a cafe or pay no heed to whether my arse was hanging out of the back of my jeans and so it's natural that once my baby has latched on, I would then cover the rest of my breast because it had been covered by my clothes when I walked into the public place!
Nothing to do with being ashamed of the act of breast feeding.

twotimes · 26/02/2010 12:25

"mention of other children running around is building a picture of a woman who doesn't care about appropriate behaviour. You are leading people with your langage and description. All this stealthy 'aah but there was a chair', 'the baby wasn't crying' is adding judgements aside from the matter you want to discuss" Showofhands maybe she didn't care, the kids were running about, there was a chair and the baby wasn't crying. I mentioned the baby wasn't crying because if it had been, the dh would have understood quicker and thus this reflects his reaction. My description was off the back of dh's didn't realise I was writing a news bulletin for the BBC.

Oh and yeah I better get the bloody dictionary out before some smart arsed teenager points out all my mistakes!

OP posts:
morningpaper · 26/02/2010 12:25

[where is this blog rhubarb?]

Rhubarb · 26/02/2010 12:26

TBH my boobies were the biggest they've ever been whilst feeding, so perhaps I should have taken the opportunity to expose myself a bit more.

I should have made announcements and sold tickets perhaps.

Double the price if they wanted to stroke them admiringly. Triple if they burped the baby afterwards.

SirBoobAlot · 26/02/2010 12:26

Ronshar are you saying that those of us who find it difficult to feed without bringing our breast out entirely are abnormal and not modest?

Look good Rhubarb!

kitcat1977 · 26/02/2010 12:26

What if you're the mother of twins? Is it still indiscreet to get them both out?

Rhubarb · 26/02/2010 12:27

Tut MP - you think I'm going to advertise my blog on Mumsnet just to get visitors to read my rantings? What a cynical attempt you made that was swiftly blocked my good self.

morningpaper · 26/02/2010 12:27

I think that on balance, yes it would be fairly indiscreet to feed twins while standing up at the counter discussing the pros and cons of different mobile phone tarriffs

Rhubarb · 26/02/2010 12:29

He could have said: "There's an app for that."