Is my dh being unreasonable to not one to serve a b/feeding mother at the counter???

[twotimes]

Twas talking to the dh this morning when he brought up an incident that happened in work the other day. He was working in a a well known mobile phone shop behind the counter when a woman came in with her daughter and her three kids. Both the women were at the counter discussing mobile options with dh whilst two of the children were running around the shop. All of a sudden mid conversation dh turned to get a phone and when he had turned back the daughter had whopped them out and started b/feeding. And he hasten's to add - with absolutely no modesty, just in her full glory. I should note, the baby was *not8 crying or making a sound before hand. Was he being unreasonable to be mortified??????

Now this isn't completely serious, he wasn't rude, he just carried on serving but felt the need to tell me about it later. He isn't a prude, I b/fed both dc's and all his family b/feed that isn't the issue. What he keeps going on about, is that "she didn't even cover".

At first I just pissed my self laughing (I could literally imagine his face) but then I thought seriously, people should be able to b/feed but at a counter in a shop, with no discretion?

I suppose you might get one out, baby refuses to latch on that side, swap baby over forgetting to do up bra again on other side? But even that doesn't really sound like whopping them out.

I think women should be able to breastfeed whenever and wherever they want, but a bit of discretion is polite. OI wouldn't personally whop 'em out in Carphone Warehouse.

Am I the only one who finds it odd that she felt the need to start feeding while in conversation with a salesperson in a shop?

Surely, and I talk as a BF mother here, there are far more convinient places to feed your child?
I would be equally as if she had open up a flask of tea and poured herself a cup!

Have we forgotten our table maners?

Yes people should be able to get their boobs out whenever they need to in order to feed their babies. No-one should be offended (or if they do they should be ignored cos they're BU). That is what boobs are designed for FFS.

Bucharest - A friend of mine used to just pull her top down and feed with both breasts revealed but she only did it this way in her own home (and her DH used to look at me enviously with my baby tucked under my shirt and ask her why she couldn't feed without showing quite so much boob )

I have accidentally shown more than I meant to but generally would use a muslin square or a shirt to cover the main action. It was more so unsuspecting onlookers weren't unnerved by seeing my mahoosive bosoms being pawed at roughly by a feeding baby rather than for discretion as ds1 used to drink like a piggy snorting and slurping and then going "Ahh" after each feed .

I would find it hard to hoik clothes, unhitch bra and negotiate breast pads etc while standing up and safely holding baby personally.

I think the woman in question was rude to start bf-ing when being served by an employee at the counter. Nothing against bf-ing I'd or feel the same about her if she'd been talking on her mobile or eating herself when she was being served.
I probably would have continued serving her because there's no point making a scene but I would have thought her rude. Honest opinion; expecting a flaming.

displayuntil my DD1 was a very noisy feeder too! I remember a thread on here where someone was saying that someone who said they didn't like the noise was being ridiculous as there wasn't any noise.

She obviously hadn't met ones like ours "glug glug glug glug slurp slurp glug burrrrrrp"

I agree with the posters who say that is what tits are for and that wrongly it is OK to have tits out for mens titilation but not for their purpose.

Lady - are you ok? That was something of an outburst?
I doubt the woman really "whopped them out" tbh. Maybe the man hasn't seen many bosoms and so even the merest glint is like a big sweet shop standing before him

I run a breastfeeding organisation and have hosted and attended countless breastfeeding conferences and events where it couldn't be more acceptable to feed a baby when and where as needed.

Even at these events I have never seen anyone "Whop them out" or show both breasts.

All sounds like a bit of an exaggeration to me ;)

ImSoNotTelling - glad it wasn't just me then. Did you find yourself chatting away non-stop when feeding to try and distract others from the slurping and gulping?

Personally I can't think of a reason why anyone would want to breastfeed a baby that was perfectly happy without, while trying to talk to a salesperson about mobile phones.
It would be easier and more pleasant for mother and baby to wait until they were in a quieter situation and sitting down.
I think she was being inconsiderate. No stronger words than that, but it just seems a daft thing to do.

Unfortunately we live in a society where tits are mainly for titillation. You would never normally see a woman with her breasts out.

So whilst, in an ideal world, you should be able to get out your breasts wherever you like, whether you are feeding or not, this is far from an ideal world.

Whilst it is possible to breastfeed with an ounce of discretion, that's how it should be. Most people who breastfeed would much rather be discreet than not.

To flash both breasts fully whilst feeding is not something that happens everyday, it's going to catch people by surprise, especially in such a public place. Let's face it, we're just not used to it and in Western societies I'm afraid that it is generally frowned upon. With that in mind I think she should have made an effort to be a little more discreet - if only to save others embarrassment.

The more a society envelopes itself in porn, the less acceptable it is for a woman to show her breasts in public - have you noticed that? So next time there is a debate on Mumsnet about how porn is liberating for the woman, think of this. Because to some people now, breasts are associated with sex and sex alone.

Yes!

She made a right racket

I think good for the woman. To just bf her baby and carry on doing what she was doing without asking for anything special.

I hate the word discretion because it is setting a condition on bfing. You are allowed to bf but only as long as .....

And of course it is hard to always be discrete.

I remember bfing in a cafe and accidentally flashing the waiter whilst ordering a hot chocolate. I was a bit embarrassed but tried my best to carry on as if nothing had happened.

KerryMumbles Fri 26-Feb-10 10:24:00
'see men think tits are for them to jerk off over.

when they are reminded of their true purpose they freak'.

Well said KerryMumbles. I couldn't say it better myself

Not really relevant to equate this to the lady eating herself - a tiny baby can't wait.

My initial thought was, actually, if it was her 3rd DC (or more, we don't know if she had older children at school) she might not even have noticed she was doing it - with more than one you get used to bfing on the move, and the fact she did it before the baby was crying suggests it was more of an automatic reaction.

I agree with that BertieBotts- I also have three children and bfing is very automatic - the mother knew her baby was hungry because she picked up the subtle communication of the baby before the baby started screaming it's head off. A screaming baby is far more of a distraction then bfing the baby before it has to cry.

god, im all for freedom to breastfeed, but its strange, id never have the inclination to 'whop them out' in public before mine were born, and i dont anymore.

i always had v. loose tops or had a scarf to drape over breast/baby head. i know it's natural, but i know people are squeamish, i didnt want to make anyone uncomfortable by having my boobs on display. yes its natural, blah blah blah blah blah. but for me i covered up for MY dignity, not just as a breastfeeding mum!

although, i havnt read the rest of this thread, did she have both out?

I like the mobile phone analogy. If you're conversing with a person in a store you shouldn't be on the phone at the same time (and neither should they). Nor should you be reapplying lipstick or reading a book. To me it has nothing to do with "discretion" and everything to do with manners. Clearly a wailing baby needs feeding so I certainly wouldn't object to someone whopping out a breast there and then but to do so without a real need is a bit rude imo.

Somewhat OT - I slightly object to objections to the "sexualisation" of breasts. Breasts are sexual. Perhaps I feel like this because I've not BF for years. I do find it odd and sad that in some circles breasts on page 3 are fine whereas a BF mother on a bus is not OK, but trying to de-sexualise them is pointless imo.

agree with Bertie re bf being automatic. I once bf while going down a slide at a play area, exactly that situation - I was focused on older child who I was following around the equipment.

If this mother was focusing on her conversation with the salesman, she may well have done it unconsciously.