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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To now dislike my dd's class teacher after finding her on MN?

464 replies

absinthe · 25/02/2010 14:48

She wasn't very complementary about the little dah-lings in her care and I am silently fuming now. I completely randomly feel upon her user name and looked at her profile on the off chance that it might be her and there she was - pics n' all. She does not post a lot but one of her posts would put her in line for at least a formal warning if not more.

Can't say who she is but it is definitely her - without a shadow of a doubt.

I have never had MN cross over into RL before. Is it wrong of me to glance at her generally boring posts, just because it's her?

Maybe I could drop subtle hints about the fact that I use MN too just to see her reaction.

In any case, I think it was a bit sloppy and feel she should have taken more care to make herself anonymous.

OP posts:
zippyzapper · 25/02/2010 14:52

You are not unreasonable to dislike her - it is a tough one???

What to do - what to do?

I think I would be inclined to leave it - unless she said something that was worth taking action about.

Rockbird · 25/02/2010 14:55

I don't think there is much you can do (although people have got into job-related trouble on FB etc) but I would definitely drop MN into the conversation if not to her, then in her hearing. You can only go by how she is in the classroom so you'd be better off not knowing what she's thinking.

Lucyellensmumma · 25/02/2010 14:55

it really depends, there is a mum who is a teacher, but not at my DDs school (thank god) who used to go to DDs ballet school - she would be absolutely scathing about the children in her class - she taught reception. Now i know teachers have it tough (i am hoping to train as one) and they probably do moan about the little dah-lings to each other, i was a vet nurse and we would moan abou the clients quite a lot - i think it is just life. But as a mum, i dont want to know that this is potentially the teachers attitude to my child when she is in her care. This woman used words like "little shits" and spoke about individual children and how some of them, she just can't take to and they make her skin crawl - my friend and I actually considered contacting her school as this was so unprofessional, but decided against it.

I would definately hint to her that you use MN, although i wouldn't want anyone in real life knowing what i post on here - i hang all my dirty washing out on here so would definately want to remain anon!

If she has a pic of herself and is open about her profession then she is a bit of an idiot to behave in an unprofessional manner for all to see.

probono · 25/02/2010 14:58

find a thread she's on and tell her everything you've told us

with or without namechanging before but def namechanging after!

do NOT approach in real life nightmare let her guess

hatwoman · 25/02/2010 14:58

I think it's v. unprofessional of her to post about her job and have her real id on her profile. she should either take steps to be more anonymous or not post about work.

not sure what you can do though...

Coldhands · 25/02/2010 14:58

She has behaved very unprofessionally if she has pictures on her profile and says things about her class. In a profession like that you just can't say what you like unless you are completely anon. Same problem with FB and we all know how many idiots have put stuff on there about their bosses and stuff.

I would too mention MN within earshot and hope she gets the hint. If she doesn't and carries on, you may have to have a quiet word saying that you know who she is on here and leave it at that.

Carrotfly · 25/02/2010 14:59

I agree, to stay anonomous is one thing, but to display pics on your profile and hint about your profession and that is just asking for trouble.

In this day and age its so important.

shockers · 25/02/2010 14:59

LEM... that is horrible

hatwoman · 25/02/2010 15:00

probono's idea is good

LaurieFairyCake · 25/02/2010 15:00

Can you honestly say you don't rant about your workplace/dh's/dc's?

Cos I think that's one of the functions of mumsnet - to rant in order that you don't take it out on people in real life.

Personally I would be happy if one of dd's teacher ranted about her form or her - because it's about her feelings and not about how she acts professionally.

Dislike her if you want but it would be horrible to report her - as long as you can't identify individual children from what she says where's the harm? She's not breaking confidentiality or child protection by harmlessly ranting about 'little shits'.

missorinoco · 25/02/2010 15:00

link the thread to this one then namechange. she will soon get the hint and be none the wiser as to who you are.

SkipHopJump · 25/02/2010 15:01

Lucyellensmumma I think the teacher you know was being very unreasonable. My mother was a headteacher and I never once heard her insult any of her classes or speak about them in any negative or rude manner. I think, although teachers may find things hard, it doesn't give them an excuse to speak about children as 'little shits'

Rockbird · 25/02/2010 15:01

I think everyone rants about work, I do and have been thoroughly slated for it but I have no profile pics so am not easily identifiable. People can have their suspicions but to enable people to click on your profile and see exactly who you are is daft in these circumstances.

SuSylvester · 25/02/2010 15:03

YABU

Lucyellensmumma · 25/02/2010 15:04

I think rockbird is absolutely right - its the fact that she is identifiable and this potentially makes her pupils identifiable, albeit unlikely - definately unprofessional conduct and would imagine it would go down very badly with her bosses.

Rhubarb · 25/02/2010 15:04

Change your Mumsnet user name. Then go into a thread she is on and post something like this:

xxxxx I noticed your profile and now know you as my child's class teacher. I thought I should point this out as some of your posts have not been very complimentary of the class and you are easily recognisable. I do not intend to out you or report you, I just thought you should know as you may wish to make yourself more anonymous and possibly think more about what you are saying with regards to your class.

Then I would leave it.

SofiaAmes · 25/02/2010 15:04

Ranting about your work colleagues who are adults and can defend themselves, is not the same thing as ranting about children who cannot.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 25/02/2010 15:05

Another one who agrees with probono

LaurieFairyCake · 25/02/2010 15:06

Bollocks, if its anonymous then no one needs to defend themselves.

SuSylvester · 25/02/2010 15:06

lol at teachers never being able to rant

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 25/02/2010 15:07

I can understand that it probably wasn't the cleverest thing to make herself so easily identifiable BUT unless she is unprofessional in the classroom or is rude or unpleasant to her pupils surely everyone is entitled to somewhere they can go and vent their spleen about things that annoy them! I for one have no problem with her behaviour and think that you should leave well alone.

OrmRenewed · 25/02/2010 15:07

Why does it bother you? She is entitled to her opinion and unless she is saying 'I work in X school and I teach Y class and they are all little horrors', then it can't hurt your child.

GypsyMoth · 25/02/2010 15:07

good idea rhubarb......or send into school an anonymous fruitshoot and sausage roll from greggs.....would she get the idea then?

shockers · 25/02/2010 15:08

I'm a TA. Myself and my class teacher will sometimes have a moan about how a child or the class has BEHAVED on a certain day, but wouldn't ever call a child a little shit or say they made our skin crawl.
That's very personal and I've never met a child with no redeeming features yet.

Rhubarb · 25/02/2010 15:09

Laurie - how can it be anonymous if her profile pic is on there? All it takes is for one of her colleagues or a child's mum - such as has happened - to click on her profile and then it's bloody obvious which children she is referring to and which school she works at.

If I discovered that my dd's teacher was on Mumsnet, with a pic on her profile so as not to leave any doubt, and she was referring to my dd as a "little shit" I would most certainly be reporting her.

For one, you don't talk about children like that and secondly, there is a professional code of conduct and something called Child Protection. She should be taking all the steps to ensure that the children she is 'raving' about are not identifiable - that means ensuring that she is not identifiable.