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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To now dislike my dd's class teacher after finding her on MN?

464 replies

absinthe · 25/02/2010 14:48

She wasn't very complementary about the little dah-lings in her care and I am silently fuming now. I completely randomly feel upon her user name and looked at her profile on the off chance that it might be her and there she was - pics n' all. She does not post a lot but one of her posts would put her in line for at least a formal warning if not more.

Can't say who she is but it is definitely her - without a shadow of a doubt.

I have never had MN cross over into RL before. Is it wrong of me to glance at her generally boring posts, just because it's her?

Maybe I could drop subtle hints about the fact that I use MN too just to see her reaction.

In any case, I think it was a bit sloppy and feel she should have taken more care to make herself anonymous.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 25/02/2010 15:10

Another one who agrees with probono

zippyzapper · 25/02/2010 15:10

Absinthe i'm dying to know what you will do????

BariatricObama · 25/02/2010 15:11

i would post on her ranty threads and dig for info about my dd!

Rhubarb · 25/02/2010 15:11

When I was a TA we went on a Child Protection Course, we were not to discuss children outside of the classroom or to identify children. Nor were we to do anything that would contravene the work we did at the school.

In making herself so identifiable and raving about children at the school where she works, she is acting in a very unprofessional manner and she needs alerting to this.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 25/02/2010 15:12

Blimey I will never moan about any family/friends/workmates/etc etc on here ever again for fear as being outed as a .....moaner!
Give the woman a break. FFS we are all anonymous on here for a reason. I come on here to get away from a lot of the shit of everyday life.

probono · 25/02/2010 15:12

absinthe

important imo

ask for this thread to be deleted or she will be identifying you and going back through past stuff

change your name

tell her on mn, even start a thread to tell her

then change your name again or back to your old one

don't out yourself lovey, she's behaved badly so it wouldn't be fair on you to lose your anonymity

LaurieFairyCake · 25/02/2010 15:13

Masses of assumptions there Rhubs:

  1. that it is her
  2. that she is talking about a specific child
  3. that it is then pointed out to a specific child

Surely it's fine to call them 'little shits' generally (she didn't by the way, the OP didn't say that).

My dd can be a little shit Providing she didn't say on her profile or in a post clearly identifiable characteristics of DD that the majority of people could link I would have no problem with it.

probono · 25/02/2010 15:15

er

she's not anonymous

she's a teacher globally publicising criticisms of maybe 30 children identifiable as a group by their parents and the parents of others in the school

it's really anything goes sometimes on mn isn't it in the name of free speech

SuSylvester · 25/02/2010 15:16

we dont KNOW what she said

cos
guess what the Op has fekced orf

LaurieFairyCake · 25/02/2010 15:18

Yes, identifiable as a group - not as an individual - that doesn't break confidentiality.

If you can identify individuals by what she has said then there is a problem. But coming on at the end of the day and saying "bloody hell formwhatever were a bunch of stirring little fuckers today" is hardly a crime.

People moan a lot on the TES site.

LittleMrsHappy · 25/02/2010 15:18

Orm it bothers "us" as a whole! she is supposed to be educating "our child" and as such should keep her personal feelings to herself or within the staffroom and school grounds! (not that this is acceptable either)

She is being unprofessional by getting personal, she is their to educate our children and not be slating them! If she is openly made posts about the children in her classroom, and done nothing to conceal her identity she is being very unprofessional in her conduct and also breaking her contract terms and conditions.

I would do as Rhubarb says tbh.

Rhubarb · 25/02/2010 15:18

"She wasn't very complementary about the little dah-lings in her care and I am silently fuming now. I completely randomly feel upon her user name and looked at her profile on the off chance that it might be her and there she was - pics n' all. She does not post a lot but one of her posts would put her in line for at least a formal warning if not more.

Can't say who she is but it is definitely her - without a shadow of a doubt. "

I take it that the OP recognises the teacher. And no, she didn't call the class little shits, but the OP says one of her posts is enough to evoke a warning if found out.

As I said, I believe that as a professional, to talk about children in a way that may identify them is against the Child Protection Act.

SpringHeeledJack · 25/02/2010 15:20

What hobnobs said.

I moaned about my kids' school on here a while ago. I kept it very very general but was spotted- and trolled, then accused- by a senior member of the school's staff, which unleashed the biggest shitstorm ever.

I'd (gently and anonymously) let her know that she is identifiable. Mumsnet is a good place to vent and say things you'd never dream of saying (or want to say) in public-that is what it's for, and so it shouldn't spill over into RL. this teacher should be able to vent same as anyone else- but she should be being a bit more circumspect about it.

Rockbird · 25/02/2010 15:21

If you have your picture up, you are not annonymous. I know there is a MNetter who has a child at DD's nursery but I don't know and don't want to know who she really is. If she had a picture up (I don't know, I haven't checked) then she is no longer annonymous because I could hang round DD's nursery till I saw her at pick up time.

SuSylvester · 25/02/2010 15:28

god i think i remmbe that spring
and the Deputy rang you?

loobylu3 · 25/02/2010 15:33

I would be fuming too OP.
It is v unprofessional of her and she would certainly be cautioned by the school if they were to find out.

Internet forums are just not the place for moaning about children who are in your care! Complain to your colleagues or your partner at home in private!

HewlettPackard · 25/02/2010 15:33

oh god this is sooo exciting. Sorry but the teacher is a bit foolish to have her pics etc on her profile then whinge about her pupils.

Hullygully · 25/02/2010 15:35

Teacher is a halfwit. I'd be more concerned that a halfwit was supposed to be teaching my dc than anything else.

HewlettPackard · 25/02/2010 15:36

pmsl hully

HewlettPackard · 25/02/2010 15:37

where is the OP ? At the school probably, glaring at the teacher!

probono · 25/02/2010 15:40

hully is right, how stupid is she

where is the woman's self respect

chegirlshadabloodynuff · 25/02/2010 15:41

Seems a really stupid thing to do IMO.

You work with children and are on a parenting forum and moan about the children you work with AND you are easily identified by your profile.

What a muppet.

Of course its ok for teachers to have a rant. They shouldnt have to be saints. But FFS stick your neck out on a HUGE forum bristling with mothers of school age children!

I would not in a million years discuss the children and families I work with on here. I would be bloody fuming if anyone who worked with my family did (even if they were not being rude).

Rhubarb · 25/02/2010 15:42

Hmmm, just wondering about a teacher that posts on Mumsnet some unflattering comments about the primary (?) children that she teaches - and she is left unscathed by Mumsnetters? Surely the rest of the posters would come down on her like a ton of bricks?

Would love to know what thread she posted on that hasn't kicked off.

MadamDeathstare · 25/02/2010 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sassybeast · 25/02/2010 15:46

YANBU. Having a picture in your profile renders you 'un' anonymous. Don't teachers have some sort of confidentiality rules ? Really bad form - someone who thinks it's ok to criticise and entire group pf children would probably have no qualms about moving on to criticise an individual child.