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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Can we all please try and inhibit segregation amongst people due to race, gender or sexual persuasion?

196 replies

anidea · 22/02/2010 17:16

Hello,

We have recently been in contact with Olivia Vandyk of mumsnet regarding the practises and values of this website.
Here follows a transcript of that conversation, see what you think:

On 21 Feb 2010, at 08:54, James Wallace wrote:

Hello,

My girlfriend and I recently heard about your website and we are interested in your tag line "By parents for parents", when the site is called 'mumsnet'.

We think a title such as this propagates a stereotypical view that women are the main parents, and can't quite believe that anyone would think this as acceptable.

We think we as a society have grown beyond the point where such stereotypes are applicable and we hope we have passed the point where they are acceptable.

We look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

James Wallace and Tania Pieri

On 22 Feb 2010, at 09:21, Olivia Vandyk wrote:

Hi there

Thanks for your comments. We hope Mumsnet isn't exclusive to mums and indeed we know we have plenty of dads who log on and contribute. If it doesn't sound too pompous we think the concept of "mumming/mothering" goes beyond gender so don't feel mumsnet is too exclusive. We did think of calling the site parentsnet.com but it just sounded so hideous.

While the majority of our posters are women, we do have Dadsnet specifically for men to chat here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/dadsnet

But folks won't be surprised or bothered by having a male joining in anywhere on the site.

We also have a section for same-sex parents here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/gay_parents

Hope this clears up any concerns. Welcome to Mumsnet - do let us know if there's anything else with which we can help
Best wishes
Olivia
www.mumsnet.com

On 22 Feb 2010, at 12:04, James Wallace wrote:

Dear Olivia,

Thank you very much for the response. We're glad to hear that men can and do join in with discussions on mumsnet, but we are somewhat disappointed that there is an apparent need to have separate areas of the sites for dads and gay parents. Every caring parent has one individual goal - doing everything they can to promote the welfare and happiness of their child or children; so why not all work together, talk together, support each other and help promote understanding between different groups whether they are of different gender or different sexual persuasion. These categorisations are irrelevant we believe amongst a community of parents.

We can see that there are definite differences between the sexes in terms of the fact that women are the only gender that get pregnant and have the choice to breastfeed. However, whatever discussions are had between women on the topics of pregnancy or breastfeeding, it would be useful for all parents to join in the conversations so that they may better understand the situation and the difficulties and joys of the process.

We hope you are well and having a happy day,

James and Tania

www.artyempires.com

On 22 Feb 2010, at 12:10, Olivia Vandyk wrote:

Hi James and Tania
I'm having quite a happy day, though the snow is dampening my spirits somewhat as it complicates all manner of the day's logistics!

Thanks so much for your reply.

Your points below actually sound like a great starting point for a a Mumsnet discussion.
The best place to ask for strategies and tips is our Talk board.
www.mumsnet.com/talk
You can post and debate this with our users and see what they think.

Our Talk board is where we get all of our hints and ideas on how to handle issues - you'll be in good hands.
One pointer though, as you're a new poster you may want to avoid posting this in our "am I being unreasonable?" topic to start off with as this is our feistiest area which encourages people to be particularly forthright in their replies.
Again, do get back to us if we can help further.
Best wishes
Olivia
www.mumsnet.com

On 22 Feb 2010, at 12:25, James Wallace wrote:

Okay, thank you for the reply, we will post on the site shortly.

OP posts:
aoyama · 22/02/2010 17:18

What has you post got to do with your question?

Lulumaam · 22/02/2010 17:20

can you stop spamming the board and read the responses on the other thread you started this morning>

LadyintheRadiator · 22/02/2010 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

posieparker · 22/02/2010 17:22

It's not segregation, it's support. There is no separate talk board for any particular race, although I'm white, but gay parents encounter a different set of issues to me. Not run of mill parenting issues but little things like what their son or daughter may call them , nerves at the school gate and other parents reactions.

These boards work as vital support and common experience, other boards are more general and welcoming to all anyway. Why would anyone have an issue with that? What is your agenda?

Ah-hem, so you posted in AIBU anyway....

Flightattendant · 22/02/2010 17:22

GO AWAY WE DON'T CARE

Flightattendant · 22/02/2010 17:22

LITR, they have about 7 actually

trice · 22/02/2010 17:23

can we all play nicely please.

LadyintheRadiator · 22/02/2010 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notwavingjustironing · 22/02/2010 17:24

Do disappear, there's a love(s)

PixieOnaLeaf · 22/02/2010 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

equisetum · 22/02/2010 17:26

wtf are you on about?????

AmazingBouncingFerret · 22/02/2010 17:28

Time Warp, I thought id gone back a few hours then... Were the responses to the other thread not good enough?

epithet · 22/02/2010 17:29
Biscuit
JustAnotherManicMummy · 22/02/2010 17:30

Here you go James & Tania. Here's a link to your thread where you asked the same question earlier. Have a read of the answers there.

It's really not polite to keep asking the same question and not listening to the answers. Actually quite rude.

I suggest we just ignore them now.

PollyTroll · 22/02/2010 17:32

anidea, as others have said, you seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding of how this site works.

Most posters on here view most topics, most of the time. We do this via the 'active conversations' link, or other links that include all topics that you have not specifically included.

You seem to think that people use this site by going to just one topic area (eg 'Gay parents') and posting exclusively there, without interacting with the rest of the site.

That is not what the vast majority of posters on here do.

Honestly, you've misunderstood.

equisetum · 22/02/2010 17:32

they had 241 posts on the same subject on that thread.

They are a bit weird imo

Uriel · 22/02/2010 17:32
Biscuit
ChristinePrattsDog · 22/02/2010 17:33

ill balrdy segregate YOU in a min

for tedium

PollyTroll · 22/02/2010 17:33

By the same token, it's a bit irritating to post exactly the same thread in lots of different topics. It just means that most of us suddenly see lots of identical threads popping up and it tends to get on our wicks.

memoo · 22/02/2010 17:35

I keep reading you threads but you know all it ever sounds like to me is "blah blah blah". Sorry, but you just sound so pathetic!

EccentricaGallumbits · 22/02/2010 17:36

The first thread bored me so much I couldn't bring myself to post.

multiples just make me cross. I will avail myself of the hide function.;

OrmRenewed · 22/02/2010 17:36

Is that 'James and Tania, as in 'William and Mary. Do they have an architectural style and all?

Look, jamesandtania, either post on MN or don't.

OrmRenewed · 22/02/2010 17:37

And as the title of a song for a coke advert it leaves something to be desired.

equisetum · 22/02/2010 17:38

they have not even returned to this thread. Prob busy setting up another one.

ChristinePrattsDog · 22/02/2010 17:38

TANIA PIERI

ON YOUR WEBSITE YOU SPELL JEWLLERY WRONGLY

hth

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