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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Can we all please try and inhibit segregation amongst people due to race, gender or sexual persuasion?

196 replies

anidea · 22/02/2010 17:16

Hello,

We have recently been in contact with Olivia Vandyk of mumsnet regarding the practises and values of this website.
Here follows a transcript of that conversation, see what you think:

On 21 Feb 2010, at 08:54, James Wallace wrote:

Hello,

My girlfriend and I recently heard about your website and we are interested in your tag line "By parents for parents", when the site is called 'mumsnet'.

We think a title such as this propagates a stereotypical view that women are the main parents, and can't quite believe that anyone would think this as acceptable.

We think we as a society have grown beyond the point where such stereotypes are applicable and we hope we have passed the point where they are acceptable.

We look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

James Wallace and Tania Pieri

On 22 Feb 2010, at 09:21, Olivia Vandyk wrote:

Hi there

Thanks for your comments. We hope Mumsnet isn't exclusive to mums and indeed we know we have plenty of dads who log on and contribute. If it doesn't sound too pompous we think the concept of "mumming/mothering" goes beyond gender so don't feel mumsnet is too exclusive. We did think of calling the site parentsnet.com but it just sounded so hideous.

While the majority of our posters are women, we do have Dadsnet specifically for men to chat here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/dadsnet

But folks won't be surprised or bothered by having a male joining in anywhere on the site.

We also have a section for same-sex parents here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/gay_parents

Hope this clears up any concerns. Welcome to Mumsnet - do let us know if there's anything else with which we can help
Best wishes
Olivia
www.mumsnet.com

On 22 Feb 2010, at 12:04, James Wallace wrote:

Dear Olivia,

Thank you very much for the response. We're glad to hear that men can and do join in with discussions on mumsnet, but we are somewhat disappointed that there is an apparent need to have separate areas of the sites for dads and gay parents. Every caring parent has one individual goal - doing everything they can to promote the welfare and happiness of their child or children; so why not all work together, talk together, support each other and help promote understanding between different groups whether they are of different gender or different sexual persuasion. These categorisations are irrelevant we believe amongst a community of parents.

We can see that there are definite differences between the sexes in terms of the fact that women are the only gender that get pregnant and have the choice to breastfeed. However, whatever discussions are had between women on the topics of pregnancy or breastfeeding, it would be useful for all parents to join in the conversations so that they may better understand the situation and the difficulties and joys of the process.

We hope you are well and having a happy day,

James and Tania

www.artyempires.com

On 22 Feb 2010, at 12:10, Olivia Vandyk wrote:

Hi James and Tania
I'm having quite a happy day, though the snow is dampening my spirits somewhat as it complicates all manner of the day's logistics!

Thanks so much for your reply.

Your points below actually sound like a great starting point for a a Mumsnet discussion.
The best place to ask for strategies and tips is our Talk board.
www.mumsnet.com/talk
You can post and debate this with our users and see what they think.

Our Talk board is where we get all of our hints and ideas on how to handle issues - you'll be in good hands.
One pointer though, as you're a new poster you may want to avoid posting this in our "am I being unreasonable?" topic to start off with as this is our feistiest area which encourages people to be particularly forthright in their replies.
Again, do get back to us if we can help further.
Best wishes
Olivia
www.mumsnet.com

On 22 Feb 2010, at 12:25, James Wallace wrote:

Okay, thank you for the reply, we will post on the site shortly.

OP posts:
equisetum · 22/02/2010 17:39

pmsl - that is a classic!

2shoes · 22/02/2010 17:39

yabu
we need a new topic
just for people who spam using dogy crappy copy and pasting

OrmRenewed · 22/02/2010 17:43

"I want to try and inhibit segregation amongst people due to race, gender or sexual persuasion,
In perfect harmony"

Sung by multi-racial choir of perfect people of both sexes and all sexualituies. Ahhh.

OrientCalf · 22/02/2010 17:43

omg they apparently publish one of the funniest book titles ever

juicy12 · 22/02/2010 17:45

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Message withdrawn

Jamieandhismagictorch · 22/02/2010 17:46

Am I a man, or am I a woman - who knows ?

TeaOneSugar · 22/02/2010 17:47

I can't believe I've survived as a veggie all these years without owning that book - it's going straight on my wish list.

posieparker · 22/02/2010 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

posieparker · 22/02/2010 17:48

they're....I was going to finish with something that used their.....doh.

naughtyameliajayne · 22/02/2010 17:51

i swear to god the worlds gone mad

duchesse · 22/02/2010 18:00

Is this one of those performance art installations? Have we become part of a living artwork?

mrsruffallo · 22/02/2010 18:07

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Message withdrawn

Lovecat · 22/02/2010 18:14

Oh, FFS... and there was me thinking the title of the thread was a lure to get DP going on one of her rants again...

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 22/02/2010 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

LeninGrad · 22/02/2010 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 22/02/2010 18:23

Reality - again, a level of crudite I have become used to with you.

Twat

mrsruffallo · 22/02/2010 18:26

Crudite?
Has Reality brought snacks?
I'll have a raw carrot please

Jamieandhismagictorch · 22/02/2010 18:27

I was speaking French

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 22/02/2010 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Comewhinewithme · 22/02/2010 18:28

This reply has been deleted

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pagwatch · 22/02/2010 18:30

This reply has been deleted

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CoteDAzur · 22/02/2010 18:30

What do raw vegetables have to do with anything? (confused)

Does "cruditè" have another meaning in the UK these days or were you being pompous?

pagwatch · 22/02/2010 18:31

Actually Shite! could be the Musical...

JamesAndTania · 22/02/2010 18:31

blah blah blah blah blah

Jamieandhismagictorch · 22/02/2010 18:31

crudity

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