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AIBU?

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Can we all please try and inhibit segregation amongst people due to race, gender or sexual persuasion?

196 replies

anidea · 22/02/2010 17:16

Hello,

We have recently been in contact with Olivia Vandyk of mumsnet regarding the practises and values of this website.
Here follows a transcript of that conversation, see what you think:

On 21 Feb 2010, at 08:54, James Wallace wrote:

Hello,

My girlfriend and I recently heard about your website and we are interested in your tag line "By parents for parents", when the site is called 'mumsnet'.

We think a title such as this propagates a stereotypical view that women are the main parents, and can't quite believe that anyone would think this as acceptable.

We think we as a society have grown beyond the point where such stereotypes are applicable and we hope we have passed the point where they are acceptable.

We look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

James Wallace and Tania Pieri

On 22 Feb 2010, at 09:21, Olivia Vandyk wrote:

Hi there

Thanks for your comments. We hope Mumsnet isn't exclusive to mums and indeed we know we have plenty of dads who log on and contribute. If it doesn't sound too pompous we think the concept of "mumming/mothering" goes beyond gender so don't feel mumsnet is too exclusive. We did think of calling the site parentsnet.com but it just sounded so hideous.

While the majority of our posters are women, we do have Dadsnet specifically for men to chat here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/dadsnet

But folks won't be surprised or bothered by having a male joining in anywhere on the site.

We also have a section for same-sex parents here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/gay_parents

Hope this clears up any concerns. Welcome to Mumsnet - do let us know if there's anything else with which we can help
Best wishes
Olivia
www.mumsnet.com

On 22 Feb 2010, at 12:04, James Wallace wrote:

Dear Olivia,

Thank you very much for the response. We're glad to hear that men can and do join in with discussions on mumsnet, but we are somewhat disappointed that there is an apparent need to have separate areas of the sites for dads and gay parents. Every caring parent has one individual goal - doing everything they can to promote the welfare and happiness of their child or children; so why not all work together, talk together, support each other and help promote understanding between different groups whether they are of different gender or different sexual persuasion. These categorisations are irrelevant we believe amongst a community of parents.

We can see that there are definite differences between the sexes in terms of the fact that women are the only gender that get pregnant and have the choice to breastfeed. However, whatever discussions are had between women on the topics of pregnancy or breastfeeding, it would be useful for all parents to join in the conversations so that they may better understand the situation and the difficulties and joys of the process.

We hope you are well and having a happy day,

James and Tania

www.artyempires.com

On 22 Feb 2010, at 12:10, Olivia Vandyk wrote:

Hi James and Tania
I'm having quite a happy day, though the snow is dampening my spirits somewhat as it complicates all manner of the day's logistics!

Thanks so much for your reply.

Your points below actually sound like a great starting point for a a Mumsnet discussion.
The best place to ask for strategies and tips is our Talk board.
www.mumsnet.com/talk
You can post and debate this with our users and see what they think.

Our Talk board is where we get all of our hints and ideas on how to handle issues - you'll be in good hands.
One pointer though, as you're a new poster you may want to avoid posting this in our "am I being unreasonable?" topic to start off with as this is our feistiest area which encourages people to be particularly forthright in their replies.
Again, do get back to us if we can help further.
Best wishes
Olivia
www.mumsnet.com

On 22 Feb 2010, at 12:25, James Wallace wrote:

Okay, thank you for the reply, we will post on the site shortly.

OP posts:
theyoungvisiter · 22/02/2010 19:45

As I said on your other thread OPs, I totally agree.

I also think that Boots the Chemist should be renamed because of its shoeist implications. The name is offensive to all those who prefer to wear shoes, sandals or slippers or - even sadder - those who have suffered amputations and are unable to wear footwear at all.

Likewise Pizza Express should be renamed as it implies exclusivity to fast eaters. A name which is more welcoming to slow masticaters would be more sensitive.

Startrite shoes should definitely be renamed to avoid upsetting parents of left-handed children. Such categorisation is not relevant in today's society. Startleftorrite is more acceptable.

I would be interested to know what other organisations could be renamed more sensitively. Perhaps we could start a website - namesorshames.co.uk could be a catchy title?

PixieOnaLeaf · 22/02/2010 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

theyoungvisiter · 22/02/2010 19:56

pixie you are SO right (or left - don't want to be discriminatory in implying only right-handers are correct).

Is their a .world suffix? Or a .everyone?

Except those are in the English language and we don't want to exclude speakers of other languages... maybe .toutlemonde...?

Jamieandhismagictorch · 22/02/2010 19:57

theyoungvisitor. Quite right. I just want to revert to veg for a moment :

get your laughing gear round these

theyoungvisiter · 22/02/2010 19:57

their there.

Have no idea what's happened to my spelling today. I've only had [hic] one glash of red, honest.

theyoungvisiter · 22/02/2010 19:59

good lord it's come over all Esther Rantzen in here.

Batteryhuman · 22/02/2010 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Valpollicella · 22/02/2010 20:20

As I bring your lentils to the boil
I notice a drop of spilt soy milk
I lick

As I whip the egg free meringue mix
Peaks form
I admire

As slowly melt your (vegan) butter
And sizzle your onions into it
I await

zapostrophe · 22/02/2010 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Batteryhuman · 22/02/2010 20:29

Beautiful Val! The earth definitely moved for me.....

Valpollicella · 22/02/2010 20:40

Why thanks kindly Battery. My first attempt at vegan vegetable porn...Who knew I had it in me

theyoungvisiter · 22/02/2010 20:45

Veggie porn poetry has a long and distinguished history.

Who didn't spend their GCSE English lessons snurking at the immortal line from "To His Coy Mistress" by Andrew Marvell (1621-1678)

"My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow."

I think we know which vegetable he's referring to. And it's not a sweet potato.

Valpollicella · 22/02/2010 20:49

TYV

theyoungvisiter · 22/02/2010 20:55

I'm all about the literary smut, me.

GuntherMcKilocodie · 22/02/2010 21:04

Goddarn it, the Haiku comp has finished

My melons ripen
As your marrow gathers speed
Bursting it's seeds forth

Valpollicella · 22/02/2010 21:11

Gunther

My spuds need mashing
Against your strips of facon
I need your juices

RedbinDippers · 22/02/2010 21:12

TYV toutlemonde might be a bit exclusive since the OPs are clearly from another planet, maybe toutleuniverse or some similar franglais.

Georgimama · 22/02/2010 21:15

Are these pair the same people who were on the Today programme a few months ago demanding the right to have a civil partnership, rather than get married?

If not I am stunned that there are more than two people like this...

101damnations · 22/02/2010 21:16

Fabulous stuff.Who knew that vegetable erotic poetry could be so amusing.[and that is a sentence I'd never thought I'd write].

THV,don't forget British Home Stores.Imperialist purveyors of acrylic jumpers and lampshades.

Countrywide Farmer's Stores-an affront to the urban non agrarian amongst us.

Do It All-an insult to the bone idle.

TheFirstLady · 22/02/2010 21:22

I'm liking this new genre.

Ripe tomatoes
Pressed against your aubergine
Slowly drip their cum
in flavoured juices
On to the ladies fingers.

theyoungvisiter · 22/02/2010 21:25

101 you are so right. I'm composing letters right now.

Also HMV (His Master's Voice) - implying the role of command belongs only to men, Virgin (well, need I say more) and Woolworths (RIP) which might be offensive to wool-avoiding vegans.

But worst of all (can't believe I didn't think of this before) the mother (arf arf) of them all, Mothercare.

Are they implying that only mothers care? That dads don't give a damn?

LesbianMummy1 · 22/02/2010 21:36

take it these are our posters they obviously have nothing better to do.

www.art4essex.org.uk/James_Wallace.html

www.taniapieri.com/contemporarycv.html

They remind me of my neighbours who have excluded themselves from most residents in our road for being petty about so many things.

Have posted on all four threads they started but obviously should only stay on gay/lesbian parents cause of their imagined segregation

theyoungvisiter · 22/02/2010 21:37

The Gardener to the Carrot:

In the dark earth
Of my garden
Carrots swell.
Their feathered fronds
Invite my fantasies
Of the burgeoning orange length
Thrusting beneath.
I wait.
And dream of the spurt of soup.

The Carrot to the Gardener:_

I am engorged.
Pluck me. Pick me.
Lay me down, in your trug.

I am besoiled.
Wash me. Sluice me.
Take me into the moist heat of your pot.

I am tender.
Eat me. Chew me.
Rend me with your teeth.

Through the dark juices of your digestion
We will become one.

TheFirstLady · 22/02/2010 21:40

TYV. That is genius.

Valpollicella · 22/02/2010 21:40

Yes. Back to your corner of MN LesbianMummy1.

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