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Can we all please try and inhibit segregation amongst people due to race, gender or sexual persuasion?

196 replies

anidea · 22/02/2010 17:16

Hello,

We have recently been in contact with Olivia Vandyk of mumsnet regarding the practises and values of this website.
Here follows a transcript of that conversation, see what you think:

On 21 Feb 2010, at 08:54, James Wallace wrote:

Hello,

My girlfriend and I recently heard about your website and we are interested in your tag line "By parents for parents", when the site is called 'mumsnet'.

We think a title such as this propagates a stereotypical view that women are the main parents, and can't quite believe that anyone would think this as acceptable.

We think we as a society have grown beyond the point where such stereotypes are applicable and we hope we have passed the point where they are acceptable.

We look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

James Wallace and Tania Pieri

On 22 Feb 2010, at 09:21, Olivia Vandyk wrote:

Hi there

Thanks for your comments. We hope Mumsnet isn't exclusive to mums and indeed we know we have plenty of dads who log on and contribute. If it doesn't sound too pompous we think the concept of "mumming/mothering" goes beyond gender so don't feel mumsnet is too exclusive. We did think of calling the site parentsnet.com but it just sounded so hideous.

While the majority of our posters are women, we do have Dadsnet specifically for men to chat here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/dadsnet

But folks won't be surprised or bothered by having a male joining in anywhere on the site.

We also have a section for same-sex parents here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/gay_parents

Hope this clears up any concerns. Welcome to Mumsnet - do let us know if there's anything else with which we can help
Best wishes
Olivia
www.mumsnet.com

On 22 Feb 2010, at 12:04, James Wallace wrote:

Dear Olivia,

Thank you very much for the response. We're glad to hear that men can and do join in with discussions on mumsnet, but we are somewhat disappointed that there is an apparent need to have separate areas of the sites for dads and gay parents. Every caring parent has one individual goal - doing everything they can to promote the welfare and happiness of their child or children; so why not all work together, talk together, support each other and help promote understanding between different groups whether they are of different gender or different sexual persuasion. These categorisations are irrelevant we believe amongst a community of parents.

We can see that there are definite differences between the sexes in terms of the fact that women are the only gender that get pregnant and have the choice to breastfeed. However, whatever discussions are had between women on the topics of pregnancy or breastfeeding, it would be useful for all parents to join in the conversations so that they may better understand the situation and the difficulties and joys of the process.

We hope you are well and having a happy day,

James and Tania

www.artyempires.com

On 22 Feb 2010, at 12:10, Olivia Vandyk wrote:

Hi James and Tania
I'm having quite a happy day, though the snow is dampening my spirits somewhat as it complicates all manner of the day's logistics!

Thanks so much for your reply.

Your points below actually sound like a great starting point for a a Mumsnet discussion.
The best place to ask for strategies and tips is our Talk board.
www.mumsnet.com/talk
You can post and debate this with our users and see what they think.

Our Talk board is where we get all of our hints and ideas on how to handle issues - you'll be in good hands.
One pointer though, as you're a new poster you may want to avoid posting this in our "am I being unreasonable?" topic to start off with as this is our feistiest area which encourages people to be particularly forthright in their replies.
Again, do get back to us if we can help further.
Best wishes
Olivia
www.mumsnet.com

On 22 Feb 2010, at 12:25, James Wallace wrote:

Okay, thank you for the reply, we will post on the site shortly.

OP posts:
JamesAndTania · 22/02/2010 18:43

I am. Flight when are you coming to see me? If only you spent more time being a dutiful daughter and less time on MN I might not be such a massive attention-seeker

ImSoNotTelling · 22/02/2010 18:43

Lenin's double negative surely a bold invitation for lesbian hinterland embracing for anyone interested?

LeninGrad · 22/02/2010 18:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 22/02/2010 18:43

< wait sfor LeninGrad's literary outpourings >

Flightattendant · 22/02/2010 18:44

I would make a good saint. Really.

pagwatch · 22/02/2010 18:44

aw shucks Flight. You can have the lead. Can you sing? Can your mum James? I hear she has a most melodic baratone for a woman of his her girth.

LeninGrad · 22/02/2010 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImSoNotTelling · 22/02/2010 18:45

Or rather invitation to lesbian embraces in teh hinterland.

I don't think you can embrace an actual hinterland in any real physical way, whetehr lesbian or otehrwise.

JamesAndTania · 22/02/2010 18:46

See Lenin's post rejecting my kind offer of exploring our hinterlands is exactly what I mean about segregation.

And it needs to stop now. For all our sakes.

taffetacat · 22/02/2010 18:46

Jamie - you are Reality'snemesia?

MillyR · 22/02/2010 18:46

I don't understand.

LeninGrad · 22/02/2010 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flightattendant · 22/02/2010 18:47

Oooohhhhh now you mention it I hear the loosely erudite twangings of her vocal cords emanating from the utility room.

It's like a lotus flower blooming.

LeninGrad · 22/02/2010 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pagwatch · 22/02/2010 18:48

I think I went skiing in the Hinterland once. They had nice beer.

Actually that bit is is a lie as I happen to know that I can't ski. But I do great jazz hands.

JamesAndTania · 22/02/2010 18:48

Buy my books.

LeninGrad · 22/02/2010 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeninGrad · 22/02/2010 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamesAndTania · 22/02/2010 18:50

Your so right Lenin

If enough of you buy our crap we can afford some therapy to work through a solution to our problem.

pagwatch · 22/02/2010 18:51

Flight - are you sure that is what you heard?
She/he wasn't left alone with any fruit was she?
Able and Cole didn't just deliver?

ImSoNotTelling · 22/02/2010 18:52

Ha and gotcha heteronormative fab

LeninGrad · 22/02/2010 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Batteryhuman · 22/02/2010 18:52

You have to go on the crazy website and read the extract from the Vegan poetry book. I am weeping copious hysterical tears

"I touch walnuts now
Greek yoghurt spurts
Mosh
Nosh
Wash
Your courgette kofta spits
Deep frying
For the sauce
Very finely chopped
Cumin
Cumin
Cumin"

Vegetarian erotica....genius!!!!

TheButterflyEffect · 22/02/2010 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

JamesAndTania · 22/02/2010 18:54

Right we're off to the Conception board to try to get up the duff just using a couple of sexy marrows and a horny banana.

We msy be some time...