to feel really sad about what this young mum said?

[CathyBurns]

I don't know this girl well, just know her through someone else - but she's young (late teens) and pg with first baby

she said to her friend "Ugh, no, I won't be breastfeeding, XXX (partner) hates it, he says it's gross and like an animal"

who are these people who think like this? Where has it come from?

I had my ds at 19 and breast fed for 22 months... people thought it was gross after about 3 months but couldnt care less as i was giving him the best start in life.

I had my ds at 19 and breast fed for 22 months... people thought it was gross after about 3 months but couldnt care less as i was giving him the best start in life.

Perhaps the teenage mum had just studied "A Taste of Honey" in her English Lit classes?

TSC, didn't notice your silly comment. I am not marking any mother out of ten, perhaps I shoul;d trawl through threads and make sure you never have any opinions on motherhood though, people in glass houses and all that....

what a ridiculous post meltedchocolate

I think it's sad that this young mum was so influenced by her dp that her feeding choices were a foregone conclusion because of HIS view of bf and HIS implied ownership of her body

no pejorative remarks were made about young parents, nor will they ever be by me.

I don't mind forceful disagreement, but really, a perfunctory understanding of the OP should come first...

Cathy, people seem to have their own agenda here...misinterpreting comments is part of it I'm sure.

Um

will try and address my use of the word "young", as it has provoked such a flurry of indignation (not to mention it's very own spin-off thread)

I think it made me more sad coming from a young mum because I am used to hearing it from older women - my mother and MIL were both pretty much in agreement with the dp of the mum I mentioned

I would have liked to think that the attitudinal climate in which young women today are making their - THEIR - feeding choices would be a bit less depressing - but when I overheard the remark I referred to in the OP I felt sad

also (and you can flame me for this) the fact that she was young made me feel a bit protective and a bit angry that she was being dictated to by a bloke

does that make sense?

Cathy that makes total sense actually, because i thought the same thing - my mother is a Formula (trying desperately to think of another word for nazi but failing desperately) and did everything from passive aggression to full on "put that baby on a bottle you are starving her" to try and stop me from BFing. She just didn't get it - the same as i dont get how women don't want to do it - i respect it, i just don't get it.

It was me who made the "better have a good reason" comment, but it was part of a post that i stupidly posted for a laugh and people took seriously.

You must be quite proud that you have your own spin off thread though

I was shocked when my DN didn't BF, i casually asked why she didn't to her nan, she said, "well she was having difficulties so her midwife told her not to bother" I wonder if said midwife would have been the same with an older mum? So, she tried bless her, but got no support from HCPs, and this made me sad because i thought midwives were supposed to be supporting BF

lol LEM, now I have really arrived!! It's not a terribly funny spin-off thread, but it's my first...

I don't feel sad that some mothers formula feed, btw. I couldn't give a monkeys. That wasn't the point (although, this being MN, people will prefer to argue with it anyway )

blimey - i don't know, i think i was just generally asked after how she was coping - shes a very young mum and i might have asked how she was feeding them as i was actually pretty sure she would BF, her nan then furnished me with the information and we had a discussion about how the MW should have supported her more. What in the name of all that's holy is wrong with that?

I spoke to a mum today, she is expecting her third, i made a comment re BF, because she was bemoaning missing a glass of wine - she said, quite confidently that she would be BF for a week This was her third and she was quite adamant - an older, enlightened mum, informed decision, her decision, the right one for her. Its when mums are unsupported and uninformed about BF that i feel sad

so you would never ask how a member of your family was doing with their new baby then? How very odd

Cathy - thank you for explaining why. Its really hard to be a young mum sometimes, and I personally feel like I'm never doing the right thing by what other people expect from me. I am breastfeeding, but after all the comments I have encountered very few of them have been positive. Same as during the pregnancy; and I don't look 17 / 18, I look closer to 20/21 most of the time (when I'm actually dressed out of my pjs of course ).

There is the horrible stereotype that young mothers are irresponsible idiots, who don't know who the father of their child is, are from deprived areas, drink and smoke during their pregnancy, insist on their child wearing labels... I could go on. And just like any stereotype, it is wrong in the majority of cases, but is one that is generally accepted instead of dismissed.

Its very frustrating, and very hurtful, when all you want is the best for your child, and for people to see past your age to the fact that you are a parent.

I totally agree with you about her partner, by the way. I know someone (as I said) who is in a similar situation. Her "D"P is a total twat arse, and I wish to GOD she'd leave him.

Agree that BF choice is entirely personal and class/age blah blah doesn't necessarily having any bearing on what people decide.
Have to say though that Spiralqueen's comment on page 1 REALLY chimed with me. Having just had DD1 and being a very new mum, I find the 'best is breast' brigade strangely evangelical but alarming in that they do not furnish you (whatever your age or background!) with important info that you need regarding possible breastfeeding difficulties and problems. I have had a LOT of difficulties post c-section with BF. Trying to persevere but have to say that pretty much all the useful advice I have had has been from family, friends and MN. The line from health professionals seems to be like the NHS leaflet - implying its the only choice if you care about your child at all - but then this isn't backed up with support/info on all the difficulties that can arise. So when it doesn't all go swimmingly it makes you feel like a failure...and an oddity...when in fact it seems to me that most people encounter difficulties with BF at some point? OR is it just me??