to feel really sad about what this young mum said?

[CathyBurns]

I don't know this girl well, just know her through someone else - but she's young (late teens) and pg with first baby

she said to her friend "Ugh, no, I won't be breastfeeding, XXX (partner) hates it, he says it's gross and like an animal"

who are these people who think like this? Where has it come from?

And may I point out that Godwin's Law is a humorous look at online behavior, NOT an actual law.

Another teen mum here (was 18) who breastfed. Not for as long as I would have liked with ds, but that was down to lack of support with a largeish baby than any squeamish objection from
myself or dh. I've met mums of all ages who have this attitude to beastfeeding. I agree with EcoMouse as to why this could be.

Agree with GetOrfMoiLand too re this thread and attitude to young mums.

WHY are such numpties allowed to breed???

Yes, Ecomouse's post was a very good one.

oh i know coldtits, just i get a sense of humour failure about bf nazi type comments.

nobody is telling people to bf on this thread anyway, just saying what a shame that some attitudes are so prevalant.

Hello Patsy and Bluetits.

See MN - not all common teen mums are scum. Some of us are reasonably intelligent and able to hold a debate - so not necessary to pity, scorn or patronise. It is entirely possible that we are as intellignet and competent as out middle class older counterparts. [smile

Another factor in the past (and still in some cultures) was that baby stuff was much less men's business - midwives or female family members attended the birth, the men were shooed off, a new mum had female support around her and men didn't stand there saying "oh no don't Bf those are my breasts" because it wasn't their domain. In a way maybe they would still have found it offputting but they weren't on the scene so much.

But we should also remember that wetnursing has a long history and there were plenty of mothers in the past who left feeding their baby to someone else because they didn't fancy it or it wasn't the done thing for their status.

Quite apart from the breastfeeding thing, how come a man thinks he can tell a woman what to do with her body and have her obey him? WTF?

ecomouse - you are wise. expect loaded magazine and the like sporting front covers of naked boobies dont help.

putting my bf soapbox aside. i do think its sad that young mums are discouraged - simply because of the expense of ff (not making judgements that if you have a baby young you are skint but maybe many are). isnt ff about £45 a month? you'd think that would be a point to consider

I don't like being told MY attitude to MY breasts is wrong. It's MY mind and MY body. Why should anyone else get a bloody say? The information about breastfeeding is out there, should anyone wish to obtain it. I made an informed decision (the first time, anyway)

as long as its the mother's choice

I hope the concern for babies' welfare (why else would you care how someone else's baby is fed?) extends to supporting the NSPCC.

You know, I think that sometimes women use the old 'My DH/DP finds it disturbing' thing as an excuse because actually they feel funny about it, but don't want to admit it.

SORRY to all Mums that did so, my comment was really not meant as a dig at teen mums either.

But when I had DC I assumed everyone b feed, and as time progressed I realised they did not.

There are exceptions to this rule, but i do think there is a class issue around b feeding, which gives rise to the bossy middle class b feeding nazis.

I did b feed, but am not a nazi about it

It is sad that these sort of attitudes to breast feeding exist.

coldtits-I think you have the wrong end of the stick.
The point wasn't about (the OP or anyone on this thread) forcing women to feed their babies in a way that they feel uncomfortable with.
The point is that it is sad that this woman's partner appears to be so controlling, sexist and unsupportive to her and that she should allow him to make this v important decision for her.
I wish people would stop mentioning Nazi Germany in relation to baby feeding choices!

oh that IS sad, but you know, she is a young mum in her teens, who probably hasn't even come to terms with her sexuality yet so breasts are still things that are giggled about. Her DP can't probably get his head around it either. I honeslty don't think it would do any harm for you to have a chat with her about it and how it is very very natural. I felt a bit squeemish about BF DD2 and im 39, but as soon as she was born it felt the most natural thing to do. She will miss out if she doesn't at least try

oh i meant to add, that i was a teen mum (19) and a single mum - i didnt feel funny about it at all, i think possibly because i wasnt in a sexual relationship by that time??

not read it all, but have picked up on the sexualisaton of breasts - i disagree to an extent - my breasts are very sexual i'll have you know Seriously, i find it a great turn on to have DP suck and play with my breasts during sex - i think thats why i had a slight wobble about BF when i was pregnant with DD2 - i think i wondered how i would separate it, but you do, you just do.

I do agree that there is too much sexualisation of womens bodies in general, in an oggling sort of way - thats different i suppose to breasts being sexual?

I mentioned Nazi Germany because NAzi Germans had very strong opinions on what women could and could not do. They had to do EVERYTHING for the benefit of the baby and the family. They were not supposed to think of themselves as people, they were simply walking baby machines.

So when I get ranted at about how my most important function is producing a bodily fluid that will feed my baby, I get a bit pissed off. I genuinely did have more important things to do, as a woman, as a person, as an adult human being, I made the decision that my time was better employed at work so we could eat than sitting at home, slowly starving until what milk I had dried up through malnutrition.

i stand by my missing out thing fio, that by no means indicates that i think people should "at least try" i worded that very badly.

You had "more important things to do" than feeding your child? you are joking surely? please tell me you are joking?

No one has suggested for one minute that is a mother,s/woman's only role - it was for me an important and lovely part of the bonding process. Along with everyhthing else. Yes people have "other things to do" which may or may not influence their choice to bf and i totally respect that but none of those other things were more important - you suggest it is such a trivial thing to do that you dont want to lower yourself to feed your child when you are out doing more important things - i dont believe you mean that.

Coldtits, im sorry - i actually didnt read your post properly - you were out at work, that was of course JUST AS important, but im sure you will agree, a compromise that you had to make?