to feel really sad about what this young mum said?

[CathyBurns]

I don't know this girl well, just know her through someone else - but she's young (late teens) and pg with first baby

she said to her friend "Ugh, no, I won't be breastfeeding, XXX (partner) hates it, he says it's gross and like an animal"

who are these people who think like this? Where has it come from?

posie, you are making no sense. I understand that you find the idea of not wanting to breastfeed odd, but that is not what I'm asking you.

You said that a woman choosing not to breastfeed needs to have 'very very good' reasons not to. I am simply asking you why she needs those reasons in order to justify her choice- and who she should have to justify it to.

Isn't it enough that she chooses? Why must she justify it? Nobody is asking you to justify why you chose to breastfeed- why must a new mother have to do so should she choose not to?

Oh right LEM, just came on here after visting a friend. Well not such support for me, jsut concerns about my babies weight and supplementing with formula to get it up. But that particular post did get my back up and i was like wtf!!!!!!!

Whilst there are very clear benefits from breastfeeding, and if you CAN get it to work successfully it really is so much easier and more convenient than formula feeding, I dont think there's anything wrong with a woman deciding not to breastfeed, if it's her own decision that is.

I do however feel very uneasy about women being put off even trying/made to feel it's disgusting etc by their DH/DPs, especially when but for that pressure, they would have been willing to try- and quite possibly would have done so entirely successfully.

My Ex gave me lots of crap about breastfeeding, mainly because it was to him something strange. He had never met anyone who breastfed, and found it therefore very odd and unnatural. He also was, and is, a complete and utter cock, but thats another story. I didnt give into his prssurising, but I can see how other womn in my shoes might have. I just think that is very sad.

What has her age got to do with anything? She doesn't represent all young mums you know. That majority of young mums I know opted to breastfeed rather than not, or at least try.

It is people like you that make it hard for us young mums.

I am sorry to react so angrily but I am coming to the end of my teather. You are not helping young mums by judging them, you are making it harder.

Shame on you OP.

"I am coming to the end of my teather"

You called?

haha... yes very good

piglet, i was VERY lucky tbh, i had a reallly rough first few days, DD seemed to be latching on fine, but she was feeding every hour - then she was dehydrated and jaundiced three days with no sleep, poorly baby, poorly because i had no milk - i was devestated and i just cried and cried and then cried some more - midwife packed DP off to tesco, but by the time he came home i was almost beyond reason - my mother shouting at me to "put that baby on the bottle" so i phoned midwife and through my sobs she told me to go over to the birthing unit with my DD, i have never experienced such kindness - they gave me a double room, DP stayed, they even pushed the bed together for us - they helped me to express, topped DD up with formula and got me BF, i was there for three days and they were brilliant. I dont have enough words to praise them really. If it wasn't for my scary german midwife i would not have BF. for you that you didnt get the support you deserved

After my experiences of bf my first 2 if I was to have another one, which isn't going to happen, but hypothetically speaking I would switch to formula at 4-6 weeks.

No way am I running the risk of going through what I did with dd and, to a lesser extent ds again. Blighted the first few months without a doubt.

You are lucky LEM, this happened to me with bith of mine and I just got told it was normal and to get on with it. ds fed for 30 hours continuously at 3 days old.

dd was still feeding hourly at 3 months and refused a bottle, hellish.

I think every parent should do their level best for their baby, there is little doubt that for most babies breast milk is the best.

Well put meltdedchocolate.

Thats fantastic LEM, it just highlights the inconsistancy in bf support across the country, in one area you might have fantastic support like you but in other areas not so. I did talk to a mum in my area and she said that they bf is really good so must have improved since then. I also had other stresses too which probably contributed, such as warring in laws and mum, stress and baby a bit of a lazy feeder, she just did not want to work for her milk, even which i put her on formula we had to make the teat holes bigger so that it would go straight into her mouth, even now dd refuses chewy food or if liquid is in a sippy cup that requires more sucking than she is used to then she refuses it. I

I understand about the supply and demand thing, I also believe that women do produce more milk than others, how come my friend had so much milk when she gave birth 27 years ago, that she donated her milk to feed the premature babies in the hospital and was squirting out so much, but some like me not so. My cousin the same thing, lots of milk very engorged,but me no never. Would like to do a study about that.

And i was feeding on demand too not to a routine

I have a big chest to a 32ff and why on earth could i not produce enough milk. I understand with expressing you dont but i was putting dd on my breast virtually all the time. Latch was checked at hospital and seemed good and i was discharged. Whereas my cousin and friend producing milk like a cow sorry for the analagy but thats the only word i could think of on this fine morning. When dd came off no squriting of milk and fast let down, just a few drops

thats interesting piglet because im rather blessed in the booby department to, although im very jealous of your 32!! im more of a 38FF I got so sick of people saying to me "well you wont have any trouble feeding will you!" and yes you are right about the differences, the midwives at the birthing centre were lovely, however i have birth at a different hospital and i stayed the first night for help with BF, to say they were disinterested was an understatement - they were fucking horrilbe

I was 19 when my Ds was born and I Breast fed for 18 months.

Want ketchup with that?

Yes TSC sounds just like dd to a tee. What did you do TSC how did you overcome it. Oh no dont be LEM i am actually a size 14-16 but have very small back.

Stretchmarks and a big spare tyres lol

We are animals and there is nothing wrong with that.

TSC your dd2 sounds exactly like my dd who was my first. Little snacks all day long, falling asleep a few minutes in, waking up screaming through hunger, green poos, no engorgement or leaking, hardly able to express. She was a fractious, overtired starving nightmare! I fed constantly for 4 months. OMG it was bloody grim.

Also "blessed" re boobs, went from 32d to 32 f when bf. certainly didn't make it any easier.