8 boys and wanting a girl

[icarriedawatermelon2]

AIBU to think that this programme was very unlikely to ever be called 8 girls and wanting a boy poor boys

The comments on the website about the programme are so sad

www.channel4.com/programmes/8-boys-and-wanting-a-girl

Oh, as in, two days away thanks.

"you get what you are given" as my mum says,and quite right too.

Should make intersting viewing

'Having a preference' and 'being disappointed' is miles away from having rounds and rounds of expensive IVF in another country, or terminating a pregnancy of the 'wrong' gender isn't it? This sounds like the loony fringe of GD to me.

at risk of being flamed, i REALLY wanted 3 girls, i was blessed with my amazing ds, now two and half, then dd came along, shes now one,

how i have learnt my lesson, any more would have to be boys, theyre are wonderful, caring kind and compassionate, and hell of a lot of fun, dd is wonderfull too but VERY hard work and still wont sleep!!

Baby boys are bloody wonderfull!

but op yanbu me and my sil are called 'freaks' for wanting boys

oooo is that a new smiley! !!

freaks!?? That's terrible!

dp is one of 5 boys then a sister, i always wondered why none of the bils and dp liked her much, since shes fell pregnant her obvious disdain at the thought of a boy and comments from mil have made me see why.

a class one here, me and dp made a joke about the next one, mils reply, 'but you have a girl now, why do you need more?'

Ok so yes one of each is nice, but she made it sound like people only have more than one so they can finally get the preferred sex.

i love my children equally, there sex makes no difference in that, although boy babys from my experience are much nicer hehe!

This programme has already been discussed on this thread

(have copied and pasted my original comment)

I had counselling for antenatal depression when I was pg. I was having a girl; when I found out I was devastated. I had wanted a boy my whole life. The strength of my feelings of disappointment shocked me.

Of course, looking back, I can see that my brain was riddled with hormones, I would have had the depression regardless of the gender of the baby, but at the time it felt awful. The worst thing was, I was carrying a healthy baby, and knowing how may people in the world would love to be in that position made me feel incredibly guilty for feeling the way I did.

The only information I could access about Gender disappointment was from mothers expecting boys and wanting girls- this made me feel even worse.

Interestingly, my counsellor said that a large proportion of the expectant parents she saw suffering Gender disappointment were those who had been infertile for many years, and had eventually conceived through IVF; they had held on to a dream of a (usually) baby girl for so long, that when they conceived twin boys they were devastated.

It is almost taboo to discuss it- I could never tell anybody how disappointed I was, it seemed so ungrateful.

Of course, now my DD is 14mo and I couldn't imagine loving her more than I do.

I haven't noticed this boy bias either...I have 2 DDs and some people actually seem sad for me...I didn't care I had DDs and nor did DH..actually if I'm honest I actually quite liked the idea of 2 DDs we would have been happy either way..people feel the need to pipe 'So you wheres the boy?..going2 try for aboy?' i say yeah ..'when DH can give birth thats when we will try'

what i would really like to say is 'My vagina has been stretched to its limit and I dont want anymore children boy or girl and tbh I wouldn't care as long as it's healthy!'...ffs...

I have never noticed this anti-boy bias?! Funnily enough in my circle of friends you can't move for girls and a I know a few with only girls who would have loved to have had a boy.

I don't think it's about the fact that it's 8 boys and they're desperate for a girl, I think they'd just as desperate for a boy if they had 8 girls. I reckon....

I think I have mentioned this before here, but I clearly remember, when I expected my third, I was often asked whether it was an accident and why did I want a third child for since I had a boy and a girl already!!!! Like having one of each gender is the sole purpose of procreating...

LOL Mumcentreplus!

There are an equal number of people who are disappointed with yet another girl.

My DH is Zimbabwean, and they celebrate big families with boys being the first preference. It's not as extreme as other countries though, but boys are seen as the one who will carry on the family name, especially the first born, and this is very important particularly to the father of the family.
They also often give very literal names to their children like Lovemore, Patience, Blessing, Fortunate, as well as more traditional Zimbabwean and British names.

My Sister in law told me about her colleague who was called "Fed Up" because her parents had 8 girls and she was the 9th!!! They were fed up with having girls apparently!! ( for her having that name!)

She also knew a woman called "Tired"!

Lot of people where I live are very because I have boys.

People have also looked all sad at me because DC5 is going to be a boy.

So you get numpty comments whatever.

Course I want another girl, I MISS having a girl in the house. But I am not disapointed number 5 is a boy! Bit scared maybe but not disapointed

I just ordered his moses basket. I got a pink one because I am a girl

Like a few others have said on this thread I just don't get why having one or the other is so important. I have 2 girls and am very happy with that, but I would have been equally happy with boys. When I was expecting both DH & I had no preference either way, but I did notice that some people assume you just want one of each.

After I had DD1 I had 3 miscarriages and my pregnancy with DD2 was fraught with anxiety in case I lost her too. An elderly friend of my mother's, on hearing I had had another girl, actually said "Oh dear, she must be so disappointed!" . Er, no.

Do you think this may all relate back to the old adage about "your daughter is your daughter all of your life, but your son's only your son until he gets himself a wife". Perhaps it is the fear that you will one day lose your special relationship with a son more than with a daughter that underlies this.

I'm pregnant at the moment with our first, and would love a boy! Obviously I'm ecstatic whatever, but I've always wanted boys.

NotAPollyanna yes I agree

chegirlsgotheartburn do you have 6 children in total?? I would love that many!!!! Sounds like the Waltons!!

i do think that seeing people and children in terms of gender is actually quite superficial.

surely it's personality that's important not the package it comes in?

I have boy/girl twins after our 3rd attempt of IVF. I can't tell you how many people have commented how lucky we are to have one of each. When I tell them I would have been happy with any combination they look at me like I am lying.

Wow tethersend I found your post really interesting. My twins are now 7 and I am still part of a support group for parents and parents-to-be of IVF babies. I can't say anyone that I have met has ever shown a preference for a girl, however thats not to say a counsellor wouldn't hear something different. Like you say it would be a very taboo subject especially after conceiving through IVF.

Very true baskingseals - personality makes all the difference - no two siblings are the same are they, regardless of sex.

YABU there might be one called 8 girls and wanting a boy! Whats wrong with wanting a different sex if you have 8 of the same

Its so sad to see this . I have to admit that with each pregnancy so far I have had a little idea of what I wanted and imagined a little girl/boy but I wouldnt say I was disappointed when I found out the other way it was just a silly idea to get me through the morning sickness!I can imagine after 8 boys that they might want a girl BUT to get pregnant knowing you would terminate if it was a boy is disgusting if you ask me.