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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to say what I really feel hear goes?anyone else care to share

286 replies

mummybegood · 01/02/2010 21:04

Fil & Mil no I dont want you phoning me everyday and checking up on the kids telling me what best for my children and no I dont want you to just tell me your coming over now without asking its not convient.
I really need to grow a backbone and say how I feel to people but in a nice way instead of being walked over like I do aibu.

OP posts:
MagicNappySack · 02/02/2010 00:05

Boss

I will be off like a shot when my novel is finally published.

DP

Stop being mad at me any more for having gotten so drunk on friday. I hardly go out at all since DS and I've forgotten how to behave myself

Cats

Sorry i don't love you as much now that DS is here.

DS

STOP laughing at me when I tell you off.

MumGoneCrazy · 02/02/2010 00:07

Dear MIL - just because my DD caught nits twice in 2 months from nursery does NOT make me a bad mother and does NOT give you a good reason to phone social services on me. Also dont bitch about how DP and i live our live, bring up OUR children and split our chores just because its different to the way you do it.

If i wanted to be as big a bitch as you then i could list quite a few things about you that make you a million times worse than me [insert middle finger smiley]

Dear sperm donor that made my DS - you DO NOT tell a 8 yr old boy that you take steriods when you go to the gym, you also DO NOT meet him once, phone him twice and send one letter then never contact him again just because i turned you down.

YOUR AN ARSEHOLE, he's happy without you and he has a daddy who loves him and respects him [insert another middle finger smiley]

brightongirldownunder · 02/02/2010 00:08

To DH - I'm giving you one last chance. But listen mate if you want this to work, I don't want any of your stinky dope smoking friends thinking they own the house. Oh and please stop talking about my "middle class upbringing". I had a great childhood, you didn't, its not my fault..

To mum and dad - yes, I'm sorry, I'm giving him one more chance to prove himself.

To older brother - yes, you were one of the reasons our dad's business has gone under. You are living in their house having a fantastic rent free life, whilst they've bailed you out yet again and are now sad and lonely on the other side of the channel. I love you and I love my nephews but just for once help our parents rather than helping yourself...

Spleen vented, thanks for this thread!

mablemurple · 02/02/2010 00:10

I know it's not in the spirit of this thread, but I really hate the no-kids-therefore-no-problems shit spouted earlier. You don't have a monopoly on worry just because you have children.

cariboo · 02/02/2010 00:22

dearest dd, I love you my little sweetheart & it hurts me to have to fight over doing your homework every night & weekend. I see you're exhausted; Daddy & I have made a mistake with your education. And yes, you did have a seizure 2 hours ago. I want you OUT of that place; it's not for you.

dh, please wake up & smell the coffee - your dd3 is too young to be leaving the house at 7:06 every morning on the bus to be at school for 8. Then busting a gut all day trying to assimilate stuff she should be learning in like maybe 5 years from now when she has at least some grasp of history and politics. Coming home in the dark, straight in the house to start homework. Dinner. Bed. And on it goes. She has a pain in her chest & tummy - can children get ulcers?

Winter, we've all had enough of you. Get thee gone!

Kitkatqueen · 02/02/2010 00:23

mable, yes you are right, but when you have children your life is not your own, your problems are, but you have multiple others to do so much for that its very hard to sort your own problems out. Believe me it one of those situations where you can't believe the difficulty of it until you are in the situation.

You also have the added bonus of additional worry because your children rely on you so wholly.

I'm afraid its not comprehensible until you've had kids....It wasn't to me at least.

Which leads me to my spleen vent

scaredoflove · 02/02/2010 00:27

To parents and siblings - I am grown up, stop treating me like I'm 5, I am quite capable to run my life and do, without any actual input from any of you. Critisising me isn't input

To friend - walk away before he kills you. You are losing your children, they hate him, one day they will hate you too

To other friend - stop, it's hurting people

To children - I am not a personal bank, I am not stupid, I was a teenager once too

sparkle09 · 02/02/2010 00:28

dad - its really lovely that your back in the uk for two weeks - but its not bloody good enough that i only see you on the first day while your busy with the house (updating their house for new tenants) and then not see you until the day before you leave because you to bloody busy doing whatever you please!

i may be 26 but the kids and i would like to see you more the bloody twice!!!!

much better now, cheers op.

Vallhala · 02/02/2010 00:31

Dear forum owner,

Please don't patronisingly pm me to 'thank me for understanding' that you removed my post asking for others to consider donating their supermarket charity tokens to the particular one I support because I don't, not least because you didn't give me a reason. It would have cost you nothing to leave the politely made request there. Given that your forum consists entirely of people who all support the same main cause it hurts only the potential beneficiaries and doesn't take from other member's chosen organisations as they are not part of this supermarket's campaign.

Your actions are childish and spiteful and you are denying a charity the chance of funds because you appear to have fallen out with the charity's owner over a totally unrelated matter.

Now stop playing god and grow up!

GrumpyWhenWoken · 02/02/2010 00:34

To my two lovely little sons: I'm sorry I'm so shouty and horrid at the moment, maybe it's giving up smoking that's making me this way, but I don't mean to take it out on you, I love you so much and you don't deserve me being so mean.

EcoMouse · 02/02/2010 00:38

To friends P - You are perilously close to over stepping the mark and when you do, don't be so arrogant as to assume I wont tell!
You're a sniffer, not quite as bad as an active knobber but I don't think you are worthy of her trust. Please prove me wrong.

To a friend - Leave me alone, for now. You've caused a rift and I'm not ready to discuss it with you, I have a world of real and immediate problems on my plate. If by the time I'm ready and able, you've turned your back, so be it ...but your daily nagging is really bugging me and I have asked nicely.

tw1nkley · 02/02/2010 00:49

no my baby is not an "it"!!!

To my Mother. In many ways you are lovely, but I wish you to know,

I am perfectly bloody capable of juggling 4 under 5's and don't want any help, on the odd occasion I do need help I will tell you, please stop ringing me 20 + times a day you are stressing me out because I spend all my time answering the phone when I would like to spend some quality time with my children.

Just because I don't "work" like my sister does not mean I am not busy!

Also, its ok for children to spend some of their waking day not being constantly stimulated, children need chill time too especially when they are 2 and are used to having a nap. I am not neglecting my children if they have spent a whole 10 minutes in their day not covering things in glitter!

and it is more than slightly mad to time the amount of time you spend with my children so that you can spend the same amount of time with your other grandchildren. No-one else cares. I don't know why you do!

Finally, fgs, your children have grown up and left. Put your husband 1st. He needs you.

Thanks op

MumGoneCrazy · 02/02/2010 00:58

To DB - You made the mistake, you did time, im now paying for your mistake, so grow the fk up, act your age (24) and stop doing the same shit over and over again and expecting us not to have something to say about it.

P.S Your girlfriends a bitch we all hate her BUT she's pregnant with your child so stop cheating on her, if you didnt want to be with her anymore why was you having unprotected sex with her

You already have one child you cant have contact with and now you've made another, it's the kids i feel for and mam and dad who are now going to be missing out on 2 grandchildren because your a dickhead.

darksideofthemooncup · 02/02/2010 01:21

To DB please be a father to your DD, she needs her daddy and moving 250 miles away was the wrong thing to do. Oh and get a job you lazy fucker, you don't have a mysterious 'syndrome' you drink too much and still think you are 25 (when you are really 45).
Mum please stop indulging him, you are nearly 70 he is not your little boy anymore.

CardyMow · 02/02/2010 01:34

To DD's sperm donor - asking for a DNA test to get out of paying maintenance is NOT a good idea to try to endear yourself to your almost 12yo daughter. Despite me having spent this long telling her a bucket full of crap nice things about you, she now sees through you and never wants to speak to you on the phone again, let alone see you. Well Done.

To Ex-H - If your 7yo son is wanting his hair long, it does not make him gay, and does not give you the right to mortally upset him by shaving it all off, it just means that I have to deal with a very upset 7yo who now wants me to buy him a wig. If you don't want your new baby to get nits, then try TREATING your 4yo stepson's hair fgs.

To DP - If you keep insisting on moaning/crying/shouting about all your problems, and they are depressing you, then try to get up and do something about them, I have tried to help, but I cannot march you into your GP's surgery and make you tell him the truth about how depressed you are.

To my mother - I will NOT forget the things you put me through as a child. Pretending that things didn't happen does NOT mean that you can erase history. The reason you will never be allowed unsupervised access to my children is because you can't be trusted not to get drunk for even a 6 hour period. You are my only living parent, and I will make allowances for what has happened to you in the past, but seriously, it was 20 years ago, and things just as bad happened to me, so get over it already. You do not have to be miserable forever just because a BAD THING happened a long time ago. And you do not have to blame me either, when I was only 5 years old at the time.

Gosh, that really IS rather cathartic!

CardyMow · 02/02/2010 01:40

As an addendum - MIL - While I accept that you were expecting your precious baby boy to live with you forever, and that the real world was far too nasty a place for him, and I was damaged goods when I met him because I already had DD, Even he feels that 32 was more than old enough to move out. And I did NOT steal your baby from you. It is ME who nags him to phone you/visit you/ take DS2 to visit you. Despite all the many ways you have tried to upset me, I will not let you split us up again. I DO feed him well, I do look after his health, I am just not as much of a neurotic hypochondriac as you. If he is genuinely ill (which a little sniffle does not count as when you are a father and 35 years old), I will send him to the doctor. Ignoring my other 2 children because they are not your blood relations is unkind, narrow minded and hurtful to them. They notice this. Please desist.

EdwardCullenShallBeMine · 02/02/2010 01:43

DP-No it's not acceptable to let DD2 fall asleep at 6:30pm without any tea cos you have a cold and couldn't be arsed. She WILL wake up at midnight feeling hungry and will demand food, and I will not be very happy. You wanker!

MumGoneCrazy · 02/02/2010 01:45

Loudlass - for a moment there i thought we had the same MIL

Lovecat · 02/02/2010 07:13

To the world at large - No we are not having any more children, I am forty-fucking-three and going through early menopause, plus it took us 10 years, £9k and 2 failed IVF/ICSI attempts to get DD so WTF makes you think you can tell me 'oh, you should have another, it's not fair on DD' when you know NOTHING of our circs???

SIL - I am not the same size as you, you deluded bint, so stop trying to give me your clothes you don't want anymore. We already have a tent. Oh, and your 'baby' is now 9. Stop spoiling him to the detriment of your other, lovely, children and making excuses for his ridiculously spoilt, aggressive behaviour in and out of school because he was 2 months premature. Yes, I know it was awful at the time but don't you think he might have caught up by now?

Dear friend - I know you lurrrve your new man so much and he lurrrves you but please can you keep your hands off each other for 5 minutes to I can talk to you or him alone(and given he was my friend first and there are issues I sometimes need to discuss with him without you hanging off his neck it really pisses me off!)? And no, I don't want to hear how good he is in bed.

Mum - I am never going to forgive you for lying to my lovely maths teacher telling him I was afraid of him when it was actually my dad I was terrified of and was making me physically sick every monday morning in anticipation of failing the friday maths test and beign kept in after school. You made me out to be an idiot, really upset and confused my lovely teacher and denied my feelings/your bloody awful husband. I'm still pissed off that you're still defending him and making me and my sister out to be liars even now.

Brother - for christ's sake, wash! You smell and it's fucking unpleasant! Cut your hair, take some exercise and get a bloody job - and eat some fucking vegetables, move out from home and stand on your own two feet, you are FORTY FIVE and the world does not owe you a living! Just because mum humours your 'I have a degree, I can't possibly do anything other than a managerial role' stance doesn't mean anyone else will and if she keels over from the stress of managing Dad's alzheimers you are up shit creek, mate, because my sister will sell that house from under you in a new york minute to get her share!

Oh, and DH - stop smoking in the house. I don't care if it is only in one room (which it isn't, you childish fucking LIAR, I know you smoke in hte downstairs loo, fag butts don't flush and the smell is disgusting!) with the window open, it STINKS and so do you, and if you had any thoughtfulness in you at all for myself or DD you would stop it but no, you enjoy it, so we can all cough uncontrollably but that's got nothign to do with it, has it?, because despite being an intelligent man your head is so far up your arse on this matter you won't entertain any evidence about the harm it does. You always have a counter defence or else get aggressive or go into sheer denial and it drives me INSANE! Also you seem to think it's okay to sneak off for a fag while leaving DD to her own devices and then act surprised when she falls off the furniture.

Oh, and getting up with her on Saturday so I can have a lie in is lovely, but why can't you dress or feed her? Why do i come downstairs and find you snoring on the sofa with Spongebob blarign while she's running round in nothing but a vest complaining she's hungry?

Coo, that was cathartic!

racmac · 02/02/2010 07:32

SIL - you are a stupid thoughtless bitch and i hate you but i will keep playing the game and pretending we are best buddies even though you made a crap excuse not to come to our wedding party and cant even remember. Stop telling my fucking kids off - they have a mother and father to do that.

MOTHER - you are turning into your dad please stop with the narrow minded bitchy comments about anybody that is slightly different to you

DH - stop fucking moping round the house yes i know that you had a bad weekend but it is not my fucking fault - snap out of it and start making an effort with people and why we are on the subject - you are a complete knob when you have had a drink - no wonder no one wants to talk to you aarrrgghhh

mablemurple · 02/02/2010 07:52

kitkatqueen - "but you have multiple others to do so much for that its very hard to sort your own problems out" can be true for the child free too!

BTW, I am a parent.

ssd · 02/02/2010 08:11

ds and db, no mum isn't "fine". she's 82, needs a lot more care, isn't coping anymore, has become withdrawn and depressed and relies on me far too much and I'm stressed to high heaven with it all. don't tell me you'll visit soon when you've got no bloody intention, I've given up on soon long ago. I wish you'd both never been my siblings, I'd have been better off being an only child, them I wouldn't have expected any small bit of support with my mum. just fuck off the both of you.

ssd · 02/02/2010 08:15

and BTW, quit calling me darling when I do actually speak on the phone, its so effin patronising, I'm the one who looks after your mum, holds her hand when she's getting rectal examinations, cleans up her sick clothes, then you call me darling and patronise me just because I'm the youngest, I'm also the most responsible one in the family doing all the shit and leaving you two to your "busy" lives, stop thinking I'm still a 21 yr old gadding about, I'm 44 with 2 small kids and an old mum and absolutely no help in between with either of them so piss off with the "darling" will you.

Bucharest · 02/02/2010 08:25

Dear MIL,

I hate myself for it, but I swear to God I will dance on your grave when the time comes for what you did to me. And your children, through their crocodile tears, will feel liberated finally. You have wasted your life in bitterness and regrets and tried to live it through bullying everyone around you. I could maybe feel sorry for you, because you are have to be the most damaged, fucked up person I have ever had the misfortune to meet, but I can't.

Dear upstairs neighbours. No, 4am is not a sensible time to put the fucking washing machine on.

Next door neighbours. You have marble floors. Take your fucking heels off.

Best friend- I think you may have Munchhausen's by Proxy. Get help and stop taking your children to the doctor's. By the way, someone who knows has told me your doctor's kids are in psychiatric care for the way they've been brought up. Think about it.

Goodadvice1980 · 02/02/2010 08:27

To all the emotional vampires in my life, here is a New Year message ....

"Good morning, how may I best dispense with you today?"

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