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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to say what I really feel hear goes?anyone else care to share

286 replies

mummybegood · 01/02/2010 21:04

Fil & Mil no I dont want you phoning me everyday and checking up on the kids telling me what best for my children and no I dont want you to just tell me your coming over now without asking its not convient.
I really need to grow a backbone and say how I feel to people but in a nice way instead of being walked over like I do aibu.

OP posts:
AshleyFanjo · 05/02/2010 19:54

I don't give a crap that you didn't get much sleep, you haven't eaten properly and you found the journey to and from the hospital difficult and finding somewhere to park ech day stressful

I was in the hospital for a week having our baby you twat! I was in labour, not allowed to eat, unable to sleep as I mentioned, in labour!

Oh, and I'm not in the slightest bit sympathetic to the fact you had back ache because when we moved house I was unable to lift anything due to being 8mnths pregnant and unable to life anything after the birth as I had an emergency c-section. Will you pleasestop whingeing about it.

corriefan · 05/02/2010 20:21

Dear parent yes I can see that your child is muddy. The playground is muddy. Get over it.

MarineIguana · 05/02/2010 20:40

Sibling
I feel like you've leaned on me and blackmailed me emotionally since we were children and I've actually had enough of it. I'm not going to fall for it any more and I'm going to stand up to you. (Well I'm going to try!)

Mum
I will never forgive you because you don't have a clue and never take responsibility for what you did. Yes I still see you and pretend things are vaguely OK and I know you love me (in your self-obsessed way) but I'm sorry, you were a terrible mum. Oh and btw I don't want to hear about every feckin detail of your new conservatory, OK?

Rhinestone · 05/02/2010 20:50

And here's one I forgot -

K - I don't actually want to be your bridesmaid and by the way, we're not in some Jane Austen novel and despite what you say I'm not actually your 'maid'. And no, I will not spend over £100 on the shoes you want me to get. I have a perfectly good pair of shoes and I can't afford new ones. If it's so important to you then you'll have to pay for them and you can even keep them afterwards.

ClaireyFairy82 · 05/02/2010 21:08

Dear Neighbour,

Your three cats seem to think that my lovely garden, where I would like to relax of an evening - pref with a glass of vino, is their personal toilet. I'm so sick of clearing up all their smelly crap and will soon start flinging it over the fence onto your overgrown lawn for you to discover come spring. Have a nice day!

theladyevenstar · 05/02/2010 22:08

Dear 2 bottles of wine,
you are very unreasonable jumping into my glass And while you were jumping into my glass i had to deal with the shots jumping down my throat as well!!!

lollopops · 05/02/2010 22:09

Mum. I wish I had had the chance to meet you, just once.

Dad, I wish I had had the chance to meet you, just once

theressomethingaboutmarie · 05/02/2010 22:10

Dear Team Member. I am the boss, I know how to write an email. Your unsolicited suggestions about how to respond to an email to my boss are also unwanted. I have been here for four years, have been in business for over ten so yes, I do fecking well know what I'm doing.

That'll be all (I'd like that last bit to be read as if I'm Miranda Priestly)

theladyevenstar · 05/02/2010 22:13

Havoc, it is really weird to know someone actually read that report when it happened.....kinda makes it too real

LollipopViolet · 05/02/2010 22:46

Dear sperm donor father: I don't know you, I've never met you. But I never want to meet you. You must have hurt my mum so much for her never to mention you to me in the 20 years I've been on this earth, so don't think if you somehow find me that I'll be all smiles and happy to see you. You will get a door slammed in your face.

Dear mum: I love you so much it hurts. I know I can be the biggest pain ever sometimes, and I know my sight issues have made life interesting, but thank you. If I can be half the person you are, I'll be happy, because you are amazing. And I'll never forget the time I had my eye surgery and you sat by me all afternoon, wiping my tears and telling me it would be OK, and that the pain would go away eventually, instead of how you normally are when I cry, telling me to get a grip You knew when to do both

Dear male species: What is wrong with me? I'm 20, I've had one boyfriend who turned out to be a loon. Why can I not form a relationship with a guy on anything more than a platonic level????

Kitkatqueen · 06/02/2010 03:50

tles you are an incredibly brave person. Hugs from me too, as unmumsnetty as they are.

xxxx

indie37 · 06/02/2010 10:20

DH, are you going to ignore me all day? I was tired last night and just wanted to sit down and veg without talking. Have you any idea how tiring it is to work full time and do all the childcare, no of course you don't because you never do it. I don't like being threatened and I don't appreciate being told I'm a crap parent. Actually dd1 and I have a good relationship, how would you even know, you're never here. I'm actually considering leaving you, is that what you really want?

Shiregirl · 06/02/2010 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AllSparksWillBurnOut · 06/02/2010 15:36

Ex-MIL you are a conniving, deceitful, manipulative selfish bitch who thinks your children owe you. How dare you drag my friend out of a party by the hair because she was flirting with your son (my ex-bil), how dare you run your hands up my ex-H's leg. Really, I think you are a sicko who should have got help ages ago and getting shot of your pathetic son and your disgusting family was fantastic. Even if it cost me a fortune. I wish I'd reported you to social services.

MIL. I love you. But telling you would embarrass the hell out of you. So I can't.

UnquietDad · 06/02/2010 16:06

Mum - please stop being a racist old bitch. You know we love you but it is very hard to demonstrate this when you are saying all this shit, and then tutting at us for getting "in a rage" with you because you have spouted BNP/ Daily Telegraph nonsense 99 times which we have ignored, and only the 100th sent us over the edge.

To friend H - you had the affair. Stop blaming everyone else for not being "supportive" (i.e. not endorsing it.)

To the school-gate mums who think they have a hard life when they are at home 6 hours a day with nothing to do thanks to hubby earning all the money - grow up, stop moaning and be grateful. You've effectively retired at the age of 37. Enjoy.

havoc · 06/02/2010 16:18

tles sorry, I didn't mean to make things worse. I shouldn't have said anything

heathermc · 06/02/2010 16:45

MIL - The baby does not need water, no matter how many times you tell me to give it to him. He is breastfed.

DH - I am really sorry your dad died yesterday and when you came home I forgot and asked you if you'd had a good day and could we go out for dinner.

Oops

Mumcentreplus · 06/02/2010 16:59

Dear Interim HEO...you are just filling in till the real manager gets here..so in a few weeks we will be on the same level once again...don't let your new position get to your head and start giving written warnings to employees who have been hospitalised ..you really dont have the experience or the authority..I will fight you tooth and nail prepare for your first grievance..you will not earn your stripes off me love!

BTW you are stupid and about as useful as an arse-hole on an elbow!

CillySunt · 06/02/2010 17:03

'mum' - I was 13, I was 'naughty' I didn't do anything that warranted what you did to me. And as for telling me, at 14, that having my mc couldn't have happened to a better person, well, it just showed me what a horrible cow you are. I have not spoken to you since that day, and I never will again. You will never get to know your two beautiful grandchildren because they deserve so much better than you. I have not since, nor will ever again, call you 'mum'. You are nothing to me, nothing.

'dad' - It wasn't me that did those stupid petty things when I came to live with you after she kicked me out, it was you now wife. She is only 5 years older than me and hated me. Hated that some of her attention had been taken away. Why would I of lied about the things I was meant to of done? I had no reason to. Yes, I did steal money from you when I was 14 and I know that it was wrong. If I could change that I would, but I still didn't deserve what happened.
I wasn't to blame for a horrible paedophile taking advantage of me at 13. Why did you blame me? I was naive and was getting attention from him, I didn't know he was grooming me and what he was doing was wrong. But you wouldn't listen to me would you? You are another that will never get to know your two beautiful grandchildren. But then again, you probably wouldn't want to as golden child has given you four grandchildren already. He has learnt from you hasn't he? You have 8 kids. He already has 4 and he is only 21. How proud you must be.

Brother - The day I left you and said I would come back was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But I had no other choice. I was 17 and couldn't look after a 16 year old. I was still a child myslef. And your social worker threatened to have my flat taken from me if I carried on letting you live with me. I never got the chance to explain and now you avoid me, which I know I deserve.
The sun doesn't shine out of your dad's arse. He used to beat us up yet you always went back to him and gave excuse after excuse. I love you little brother. But I will never forgive your dad.

theladyevenstar · 06/02/2010 17:20

Havoc, oh hun you never made it worse. I just mean it is really weird. Obviously I know what happened to me but you just don't think others will remember it.....That is actually good that people do remember because it shows that regardless of how awful an experience it was for me, in turn it may have saved someone else having to go through it as well....does that even make sense?

Mumcentreplus · 06/02/2010 17:27

tles..thankyou for sharing, you are wonderful brave and special lady (have I said that before?)

LegendLay · 06/02/2010 17:29

Tles - you don't know how strong you are, I wish you so much joy and happiness for the future. I hate that you still suffer. You are very brave. Your story really touched me.

lollopops · 06/02/2010 18:34

Dear my two best friends.

Yes, you are both about to have mixed race children and become single parents. I would have more sympathy for you if your children were going to be born without a limb or a terminal illness. It's a skin colour FFS!!

And dear two best friends, No, I am not an embassador for the black race. I have no idea why these fathers, who happen to share the same skin colour as me; are treating you like shit, anymore than you would have an idea why the Yorkshire Ripper did what he did

LittleMrsHappy · 06/02/2010 18:37

To be absolutely furious at my Dad for choosing to die, 5 years on and its still hurts like the day you passed away.

To DM & DS, I would like a phone call some time, even a visit, its been 10 years and still no visit, I only live 3 hours away, its not so much to ask, mum please remember that you have 4 grandchildren, My DC would like to see more of you, money in a card is not enough!, and when or if I have a next DC, dont think it will be me who travels with a NB to see you, because you could not be bothered!

and to curryfreak, fank fook for FB, due to that site I keep in touch with family! at home.

I do plenty in RL, and have more friends that you could ever imagine!

manchestermummy · 06/02/2010 20:04

Oh can I join in please please please???

Dear SIL:
Your new boyfriend is an arsehole. We know you're using him as a sperm donor, but he'll sod off as soon as that second blue line comes up. And if you're dead serious about getting on with your life, then do the decent thing and divorce your DH. And dressing like a 14-year-old who is trying to look 18 when you are 35 is ridiculous. Get yourself a decent bra, add at least three inches to your hemline and for the love of God stay away from the fake tan.