To want to say what I really feel hear goes?anyone else care to share

[mummybegood]

Fil & Mil no I dont want you phoning me everyday and checking up on the kids telling me what best for my children and no I dont want you to just tell me your coming over now without asking its not convient.
I really need to grow a backbone and say how I feel to people but in a nice way instead of being walked over like I do aibu.

curryfreak i do believe the irony of your own post is entirely lost on you

i have friends on facebook who are, in fact, real live walking talking human beings i do believe that you are quite sad and obviously have so little friends that a FB account would prove redundant for you

Here's my mobile phone, I'll look up the Samaritans number for you and you can phone them.

Why?

Because they care.

HaveActuallySaidThisButWasAtTheEndOfMyTetherTiggaxx

"Dear friend, you haven't shred one of medical knowledge, whereas I do (not bragging here as you always introduce me to people as "your friend the HCP")... so why is it that, when your tiny DD had a virus recently, you scoffed at my advice (which was to keep breastfeeding her as that's what's best for tiny babies with tummy bugs) and followed your MIL's advice? Yes, I know she was a nurse but she's been retired now for a decade and she trained 45 years ago!!! And then, when the midwife reamed you out for giving your DD corn syrup dissolved in warm water, you complained to me that nobody had told you that you should have breastfed her... sorry, I love you, but sometimes, you really are a twat!"

DS - I miss you so much sometimes I cant even breathe. I think about you every minute of every day and will never, ever forget you. I'm so sorry I couldnt save you, and if there was anything I could do to hold you again or tell you these to your face I would.

xx

Ah, you're missing me already. Xx

That was for hobnobs btw.

DP - Thank you for showing me how I look through your eyes. Maybe one day I won't think you are delusional.

DS- You are 10 momths old and sat on my knee as I type. You scare me, I use to have boundries I wouldn't cross. I use to have walls that couldn't be broken and then you came. Now, they are gone and I'm scared of what I will do to protect you. I love you so much it hurts. I may not give you what you want through life but I'll be damn sure to give you whatever you need. I love you more than you'll ever know until you have your own child and that's just how it should be.

Father, you were emotionally abusive to me my entire life, I forgave you for that a long time ago. I don't love you anymore and I don't wish you any ill will either. I hope you have the life you don't deserve, I've let go.

Mother, you were never very strong. I've learned from your mistakes and will be the best damn mum I can possibly be. Thank you for showing me how not to do it, I forgave you as well. I told you a long time before you died that you were forgiven but you chose not to hear that, that was your choice and I no longer think I could have done it differently. I've let go.

MightHaveShedAFewTearsReadingThisThreadTiggaxx

You are an arrogant, self-centred, vindictive person who likes to think they're family orientated when in fact you've fucked up your family. Your love is conditional and I don't accept the conditions you put on it. I'm actually sad to say that I haven't missed or cried once about not seeing you for two years.

You claim to love your GD1, but not once in those two years have you tried to build any bridges, and your GD2 is now five weeks old and you still haven't met her. What you've done to try and ruin my relationship with my DD1 after your death is not something I can get past, and for someone who claims to love her why would you want to do that to her??

I'm now left worrying that if you do die while we're not in contact that I wont give a fuck.

(Thanks for that OP, I've been wanting to say that for a while )

Bollocks to everyone who has ever flamed me on here, or ever will. May you be struck down with bad breath and nits forever.

DH - I DO know what it is like to work full time thank you very much - I did so for 8 years so think I have an idea of what it entails.

DD - you are messing with my mind with your 3yo emotional rollercoaster of a life. However, you are VERY funny, and should be on the stage!

DS - you may think that you are melting my heart by babbling 'mummy' and clapping after doing a naughty thing - and you'd be right you little cutie (but just don't tell your daddy as I'm trying to maintain the illusion that I'm strict ).

friend one - get a fucking grip, you have problems, we all have problems, they are as enormous to each of us as we can each stand, it is not for you to judge who is having the hardest time at the moment - and if it was you should be able to see that it isn't YOU

Parent - I want to shout at you every time you open your mouth, you shouldn't lie so much - you should admit what you did and how you treated us was wrong and from that admission we could move on - but whilst you insist you were a practically perfect parent - you will always make me angry with you.

PiL - just because you did things better with your son than my parents did doesn't mean that you are perfect - and how the fuck do you think it was going to work ordering a desert for one of your grandchildren and not the others - of course the others were cross and upset!! they are not spoilt they were treated unfairly!

Oh, and Grandad, in your quiet, understated way you were amazing and inspirational.

As proud of me, that you used to say you were, for no particular reason, I was and am proud to have been your Granddaughter. I miss our phone calls but you are always in my heart.

I only ever made you cross once when I 'scratched' my name into the lacquer of one of your beloved cars and I am still sorry I did that.

Give my love to Gran, who I loved equally but for so many different reasons. I am glad you did not see me go through the last few years. It would have broken your hearts. But I am going to be OK, and look at your photo every day. It makes me smile.

SIL - I love you very much but I have a few things I'd like to say to you.

Having a puppy is no way the same as having a baby.

You don't know the meaning of the word 'tired'.

You don't know the meaning of the word 'broke'.

You live in an enormous house, have three cars, have a cleaner and a gardener, work a couple of hours a day for pin money, and go on holiday to expensive places at least twice per year. You are not busy and you are not tired.

I am truly very sorry that you and your husband have not been able to have children of your own. But you must understand that your dogs are not your children. You do not need to take them to the vet every time their farts smell funny.

ouch

DH - I'm sorry its taken me so long to accept that I can't keep putting off getting counselling about my family, and I'm sorry we've been making each other's lives difficult recently. And I'm proud of you for stepping up and being the first one to get counselling, and not putting it off.

Parents and siblings If you can't see that despite everything I'm actually the least fucked up one of you after the crap you have all pulled over the years you're crazier than I thought. Accept that mental illness is not a free pass to be an evil bitch.

And DB - stop kidding yourself - they're still the people you said they were for the years you hated them. Just because you wanted someone to support your cheating bastard ways and your new family isn't an excuse to claim you were bullied into saying those things. You're the bully.

Dear Dh

I love you more than anything, but you are not being fair to me right now.. I am having a really hard time and you have not been there for me .. I know you were hit hard by being made redundant a year ago and you are still getting over it - but now you have a great new job which you love I feel like it should be time for me to get some support from you ...
I have had the most awful sad year ..and I need a break ..

Dear ds

please please stop throwing away your future and stop fighting us ..please understand how much we love you and how lucky you are .. let us love you .

Dear dd

you are the bravest kindest little girl I have ever known ..what you deal with on a daily basis is more than most people deal with in a lifetime .. I love you so much and will always do everything i can to help you and look after you ..and I really dont care if you have failed your 11 plus - you will go far my sweet girl..

Dear sil, bil, mil and fil..

fuck off and leave us alone.. leave my dh alone - if you want to have a relationship with us then treat us like human beings.. remember you have five grandchildren ..not just bil's three and stop belittling your son, my dh .. he is close to breaking point and most of that is your fault...

Dear sil

I was there for you - when you had cancer while your hubby was screwing that woman from the office...so how come when I get a life threatening illness and lose our baby we don't see you for dust ?
oh and stop obsessing over your plb ..precious last born ..shes a fucking baby - not a miracle born only to you ..

Oh and.. stop being pathetic - we all know damned well you were frantic for a boy..so stop being bitchy to others when they have the child of the sex they really want

so there !!

wow..this is cathartic.....x

dss1

truly I want you to be happy
your dad always wanted you to be happy
but we had to teach you about real life

you are angry at the world and that will not make you happy
you have alwasy been like it since you came to live with us

you need to grab life and live it

stop being lazy, nasty, lying and trying to make other people unhappy

you will end up alone

and seriously, think about the way you are acting right now

your dad would be very angry with you
surely you dont want that

this is very cathartic

I would like to make very very clear that dss1 is the other stepson

craig who is amazing and will go far and unreservedly loves and helps me and my children is dss2

he is amazing

but dss1 is a year older and has never grown up
its very sad
but we tried for years and years and now I cant do it anymore

Missing you like I'd miss a bad case of piles Curryfreak. Run along now I'm sure some of your real friends are waiting for you to come out to play.

Mum I miss you every day, but I'm getting stronger and trying to be more like you and less shouty.

ex-dh you are an abusive nasty waste of space, you don't deserve the lovely children you have, I wish you'd just fuck off and leave us alone. They really would be better off without you in their lives. It cost me a fortune to pay you out of the house and I wish I'd got you bumped off instead, it would have been cheaper and less hassle in the long run.

Yes, feels much better

dh we're done. who's going to say it first?

BiL - you are bleeding your mum and dad dry with your pathetic, childish, selfish refusal to partake in anything resembling a normal life. You're 26 ffs. Stop fucking taking heroin and crack, sponging money from your mum and dad to pay for so-called film courses which promise to proffer a job "with Film 4" at the end of them, and go and earn some honest money. Take your methadone, get yourself on anti-depressants, make a fucking effort to attend Christmas Day dinner with your family when we are all having a lovely day upstairs. Adult life is about taking responsiblity for yourself and not lying in bed in your own wing of your parents' house, smoking weed and heroin, and only coming upstairs occasionally to scrounge the fridge full of Waitrose food they have bought in an attempt to make you feel happy.

MiL - kick ... him .... out. You're selling your gorgeous home in the country that you bought for your retirement because he is costing you thousands a month. His dad MIGHT leave you if you kick BiL out, but surely your primary responsibility is to your son??? Grow a backbone.

FiL - wake up and smell the fucking coffee. BiL is LYING to you every day and you make yourself believe his lame reasons for needing money because you feel so bad about the crippling depression you suffered in your 20s and think you are empathising ... you're NOT.

Oh, and, MiL, BiL has "borrowed" hundreds of pounds from DH that FiL knows about, but hasn't told you about ....

And finally, just because I am a drugs counsellor does NOT mean that i can cure BiL, so being angry with me is totally pointless.

Phew ......

Dear DS1 i am so sorry that i was a crap mother - forgive me. Having you when i was 17 was hard and i made many many mistakes. I promise you that your brother will not and doesn't have to go through what you went through. I am extremely proud of what you have achieved despite having me as a mother. You inspire me every day.

Dear DS2 - Thank you for being born and giving me the opportunity to redeem myself as a mother . Your brother loves you.

DP Thank you for being you

Old Friend 1 - seriously i can not stand being around you - and will never again answer your calls or texts. You are older now and should know better...please stop having these kids and then just leave them for shit...you are cruel and you make my skin crawl.

Friend 2 - he is never going to change - please leave him

Other friends - you are in my heart

Mum - you should have told me about sex

cor Trinity I'm glad you did the second post to clarify- I was reading the first one like this