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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel like....whatever..... to the text I have just received

156 replies

Mumof · 30/01/2010 20:10

When I had a section with ds1 my sister in law wrote me a letter saying I had had a section because I had not tried hard enough She had not had babies yet. I was actually very upset as already felt crap about the birth.

She has just had another baby and this is the text I just received..

Baby x has arrived weighing blah blah.
Alllllll natural water birth. Mummy and baby 'perfect'.

Am I BU to think that is just, well, mean?

Can she be that insenstive or is it 'meant'? I really cant decide

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof · 30/01/2010 20:12

I just replied welcome baby x as I couldnt think what to say!

Bit irked still I know its jeuvenile before you all shout at me

OP posts:
Ingles2 · 30/01/2010 20:12

she's that insensitive...smugsy of smugsville.
ignore and smile sweetly.

Nancy66 · 30/01/2010 20:13

Text back:

"Congratulations. Enjoy the bucket fanny and knee length labia"

Original poster
Mumof · 30/01/2010 20:13

it looks like that to me but I dont geeeeeeet being like that I mean none of us know whats round the corner do we?

OP posts:
Portofino · 30/01/2010 20:13

She's probably all blissed out with new baby and sent the same message to everyone. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it.

On the other hand, if anyone had said similar to me about my cs I would have gone crazy! Just feel secure that you are the better person and leave it....

Original poster
Mumof · 30/01/2010 20:15

ha ha ha ha ha now that made me giggle...

but in a text when you mention you have had a baby

I would send something like

had baby at 8am - called 'bob' weight - whatever, mum and baby fine.

Is the 'allllll natural water birth' and mummy and baby 'perfect' bit just not totally unecessary?

OP posts:
compo · 30/01/2010 20:16

If she's just given birth then 1. She prob didn't send it and 2. She won't be thinking of getting at you
it's probably a generic text sent to all their friends and family

Original poster
Mumof · 30/01/2010 20:16

Nah she meant the text

OP posts:
Booyhoo · 30/01/2010 20:16

cant believe she would think enough about your baby's birth to put pen to paper and analyse it and then send it to you.

stupid woman.

yes she is being mean.

LadyintheRadiator · 30/01/2010 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mumof · 30/01/2010 20:17

she gave birth a week or so ago but the baby has been unnamed so she sent it now from her phone now baby has a name.

OP posts:
JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 30/01/2010 20:18

She'll be waiting a long time on getting her medal for doing it naturally. Rise above it, love, she sounds like a bit of a naive idiot, I'm sure one day she'll realise how bloody insensitive that letter was.

Original poster
Mumof · 30/01/2010 20:18

I guess I am just a little hurt and sad that I just cant relate to my sis but all her texts, all her comms with me are the same vein and I just cant play that upmanship game!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof · 30/01/2010 20:19

sis in law sorry

OP posts:
MrsSawdust · 30/01/2010 20:20

God how smug. What's with the big show offy 'all natural'? Well lucky her. Hope she never encounters a complication in future births.

Yanbu

Original poster
Mumof · 30/01/2010 20:21

I have had 3 sections now and to know that some family think its because I didnt try hard enough makes me feel crap (tried for vbacs even!) I just keep telling myself that they ARE misinformed and its not my problem

The text was sent on the back of this air of how her and her husband feel about birth.

OP posts:
aSilverLining · 30/01/2010 20:22

She wrote to you to make you feel bad about your CS?

I think the best way to approach someone so deluded and plain mean is with pity TBH ....

Vallhala · 30/01/2010 20:23

PMSL @ Nancy!

I had a c-section with my second - elective, so I didn't "try" at all.

So what? I was fine, my baby was fine... it's not an effing competition and SIL is no better than you!

Original poster
Mumof · 30/01/2010 20:24

I guess I took it to mean -

Allll natural (I presume no pain relief)to highlight it wasnt the easy option of a section

and 'mother AND baby perfect' meaning I as an operated nmother and my sectioned babies were not perfect!

OP posts:
GibbonInARibbon · 30/01/2010 20:24

Text back:

"Congratulations. Enjoy the bucket fanny and knee length labia"

sorry but that did make me lol in RL.

hobbgoblin · 30/01/2010 20:24

Maybe she is just feeling proud. Unless she makes a habit of one-up manship then I wouldn't consider it pointed or deliberately insensitive myself.

And anyway, 'all natural' only has the merit and status you give it - for all she knows, you had a fab and joyous section so don't let her undermine that or the perfectness of your own baby and experience.

piratecat · 30/01/2010 20:25

well how fortunate for her.

sorry she sent you such a mean smug letter.

KimiLivesInStarbucks · 30/01/2010 20:26

After having two children and seeing what comes out I would rather sit in a vat of pig shit then have a water birth thank you very much..
I was born by C section, I am special both my sons were born the other way and I had no drugs, I was lucky.

Your sil sounds a bitch, I hope her new baby does not sleep through the night for the next 5 years

Original poster
Mumof · 30/01/2010 20:26

I opened a card after ds1 traumatic birth and it was a looooooong letter about how if I had tried harder I would not have had the section

I was DEVASTATED

as I already wrongly thought that already.

She has since gone on to have natural easy labours and babies and is very pleased.

I Had secretly hoped she would need some sort of minute intervention as now her reasoning is totally solidified as she truly believes its mind over matter that is why she always does it so well and without pain relief etc.

OP posts:
Booyhoo · 30/01/2010 20:28

she really is daft. what a silly thing to feel smug about. i'm sure if she had a good think she could do better than that.