to feel like....whatever..... to the text I have just received

[Mumof]

When I had a section with ds1 my sister in law wrote me a letter saying I had had a section because I had not tried hard enough She had not had babies yet. I was actually very upset as already felt crap about the birth.

She has just had another baby and this is the text I just received..

Baby x has arrived weighing blah blah.
Alllllll natural water birth. Mummy and baby 'perfect'.

Am I BU to think that is just, well, mean?

Can she be that insenstive or is it 'meant'? I really cant decide

Thanks all

Oh my my mother in law is worse she actually is worse I kid you not.

The thing is I would speak to my sil but she would not listen and take anything on board, I would love my husband to speak to his brother on our helf and say we are not going to be in relationship family to family but he wishes to be in relationship with his bro, and explain why.

Dont think it will happen though as my hubby is so laid back he does get irratated but not enough to in his opinion not see them.

I just CANT anymore and I fear in the long run it will make me the baddy though I dont care now what they think of me or my parenting really as we are happy and have fun as a family.

I do fear for their children we may be average joe family but their eldest three nervously bites her nails to the quick all the time and is very insular. Not my business though just something I have noted. Families are hard eh

Even if your MIL is the same as SIL (that is: an unreasonable cow), surely other members of the family have suffered from this, too. They must be on your side; you aren't alone. You might gain some real friends, and have a good time swapping stories about SIL/MIL's latest shockers, shockers which will turn into gaffes, the more you laugh about them behind their backs.

You could even end up playing bitch-bingo! Agree your phrases beforehand, and go to the monthly meeting armed with a sheet of shocking things to say. You are allowed to cheat, by provoking SIL into saying something about C-sections. It would be such fun, and completely undermine their evil ways!

Hope you are feeling better today.

My friend sent a similar text after her drug free, home water birth. I had a forceps delivery - but I didnt fnd my friend;s text offensive at all.

I doubt it was intended as a personal jibe at you, or as a comment on women who don't try hard enuf...

I'm a bit shocked at some of the posts here - saying she is such a nasty person, and that her DH will probaby leave her and her kids like her either We don't know her, and we're not even sure exactly what she wrote in the letter either!

I'm also not clear why you feel the situation has escalated so much now that you can't bear to see her?? Presumably if she has had 2 DC in between, the letter was a long time ago?

Personally I think families are important. I wish my DD had the opportunity to see her grandparents and play with cousins - how fab all the kids are young together... Isshe is making insensitive remarks, I would just bite my tongue and rise above it. People have different styles, and she may not even realise she's upset you - well maybe....

Surely, as an extended family, it would be lovely to meet up and see the new baby,raher than start a fight over who said what years ago?

Op you sound like a nice person, your SIL sounds very much like someone in competition! I suspect she is either envious about something in your lifestyle or trying to justify her own in some way. She sounds deeply insecure or slightly unhinged.

I always find it funny when people go on about how they didn't take pain relief like it's some badge of honour. I take paracetamol when I have a headache why would I refuse pain relief when delivering a 10lb baby .

I have had a bad cough for 8 weeks now and I need to make sure I go to the loo regularly, just in case! Do not feel bad about having a CS, you have a baby who is healthy and happy.

I have had an "all natural" water birth

and seriously, my vagina is mincemeat

it's gonna be like that FOREVER and then when I'm 62 it will probably just all flop out in the fresh fruit and veg aisle in Sainsbury's

it's no victory, I tell you

It seems like it is very important to her to beat you at something. Ask yourself why this is. Maybe it is that you are really just cleverer/ better looking/ happier/ richer/ thinner than her, she resents it and so feels the need to compete.

I would just text her back, letting her win at this pointless competition: "Well done! I award you the gold medal for childbirth".