AIBU to be furious with school for refusing DS lunch?

[BettySwollux]

DS1 (12, year 8) left without his lunch money this morning.
He has forgotten it before, on rare occasion, and has borrowed £2 from school with a note in his organiser, and we repaid it the next day.

I get a text from him at lunchtime saying "The office wont lend me money cos they dont lend it anymore".

I text him "have you had lunch?"
No reply and no answer when I ring, so I ring the school and asked if they knew whether DS had eaten, they said they had no idea.
I asked if he had borrowed money from them, they said he hadnt been to reception and put me through to acting head, who also had no idea what had happened and said they would get him out of class, ask him and get back to me.

When I asked how long this may take, she said it may be a while, as she had other things to do!

I told her not to bother and said I was on my way to collect him as he was probably starving by now, and I didnt think that was conductive to a good learning environment.

I picked him up, and wrote on the sign-out sheet under 'reason' Denied lunch - hungry.

DS told me he had been to the office and they said it was no longer school policy and he couldnt have anything, and to take it up with Mrs D when she returned to school tomorrow. Tomorrow???

How the hell are kids supposed to learn when they are running on empty?
The reason a lot of schools have breakfast clubs on is because a lot of kids arent being given breakfast at home, and low blood sugar etc isnt a productive way to learn.

DS has cereal every morning, but if he was one of the kids who gets nothing, he would have had nothing since supper the night before.

I am fuming that he was just told, "No, sorry" without giving a damn (If we were on benifits with a free 'hub' card, it wouldnt be a problem, they would replace it).

Sorry, but I think YABU. A secondary school has up to 1000 children. They can't be expected to check that each one has had lunch, nor can they be expected to lend money to any child that needs it. It is up to the pupils to take responsibility for themselves. I think it was very good of the Acting Head to check for you tbh.

Well actually I think there's a clear case for claiming compensation here. These guys work on a no win, no self respect fee basis.

YABU he needs to learn a lesson here.

I used to teach in a predominantly muslim primary school where year 4 children often fasted for Ramadan (ie all day with no food or water/drink) and guess what, they survived and managed to do their school work.

6 hrs without food will not hurt him, you are being over protective.

How many pupils are there in his school? its a SECONDARY school so presumably at least 600. How could they possibly know if he had eaten lunch?

is it Kayden?

Forgot to add precious pumpkin to the list.

I used my lunch money to buy cassette singles or to get a taxi to school when I couldn't be arsed to walk up the hill.

Never suffered from malnutrition.

I'm guessing the "write to your MP" post was a joke.

Both my boys have forgotton either packed lunch or lunch money.
DS2 forgot in his first week of year7. Didn't know what to do and came home very hungry.
I suggested he keep a small amount of emergency money in his bag in case he forgets again. The trouble is he ends up lending it to friends who've lost or forgotton theirs........

YABU. If you ever have a real problem at school their judgement of how serious it is may be clouded by your reaction to this.

I used to get given £2 dinner money off my mum each morning and either buy a 30p bag of crisps or eat what my friend (whose mother was trying to feed her up or something - always at least three chocolate bars, two pieces of fruit, two sandwiches, etc) had left over and save the rest of the money to spend on magazines/alcopops/cds/OTT poetry books/whatever teenage girls spent their money on in the late 90's. I very much doubt it did me any harm at all, and I'm sure your son could have found food from somewhere. If it was an exam day or something, then maybe it would have been more important, but generally a big deal being made by my mum would have had a worse impact than me being a bit "off" for a few hours.

Sorry. YABU.

do you think this is a wind up?!

Is this a wind up??!!!! Year 8??!!!! Jesus, I've got a boy in year 8 and sometimes he brings his packed lunch home intact because he's had a rugby/cricket/football match on at lunchtime and hasn't had time to eat it. He seems to survive. He always takes a bit of money with him too and has been known to lend it to other kids who've forgotten their lunch/money, or even share his packed lunch with them. It must happen all the time and I would be ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS if I thought his head teacher or any other member of staff was spending their time checking on whether or not my son had eaten. They've got MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO!!!!

I thought this was going to be about a little one in primary. Not a big lad.

My son is in the last year of secondary.

He has gone without lunch loads of times. Because he can be a lazy sod and either doesnt make himself lunch or loses his payment card.

He is a big boy and once he started secondary school he was expected to take responsiblity for himself. He has been given all he needs to do this so if he doesnt - tough noogies.

Sorry but I think you made a prize tit of yourself by making such a fuss.

As for the 'if we were on benefits it would be alright' nonsense....

I have a parents ringing about after school clubs asking what time their child will be home... This is another situation where parents cannot quite grasp the fact that at secondary school after school clubs are now between parent and child about start and finish times not with the receptionist and child with a school that has around 1000 pupils and 140 staff.

"I asked if he had borrowed money from them, they said he hadnt been to reception and put me through to acting head, who also had no idea what had happened"

so he hadn't actually been to the office as far as they knew...........so in fact he could have been doing what 12yr olds are quite good at - telling porkies..

Besides - not eating lunch isn't going to kill him

GOML - PMSL at you swanning up to school in a taxi paid for with your lunch money.

1. am suprised school dont lend
2. he wont die
3. you overreacted - helicopter anyone?

I think you must just be haaving a very bad day, and this caught you unawares! Tomorrow morning you'll start a thread entitled 'omg how can I face the school office after being such an ott precious mother yesterday?'

Oh for god's sake get a life.

He won't starve, he'll remember his lunch money next time.

Are you one of those saddo parents who sit around all day while their kids are getting on with life, waiting to trot after them for some pathetic reason?

GetOrf - I always thought you had style girl!!

The thing is, if this is a wind-up, there have been a few people who've agreed that betty INBU. So there is clearly some support for the notion of helicopter parenting for Year 8s.

Bloody hell, I'd have been mortified if my Mum had done that when I was in Secondary School, and quite frankly my Mother would have told me tough shit if I'd forgotten my money.

Also, did your DS's friends sit round and watch him go hungry and not share some of their lunch?
What would he have done if it has been his friend who had forgotten?

Why not teach him to take responsibility for himself and for him and his pals to help each other, rather than running to Mummy to make an arse of them

Lol at you lot thinking I turned up in style. It was because I got engrossed in watching the Big Breakfast, so was running late for school, instead of running up the hill to school (if anyone has every been to Ilfracombe in north devon, you will know that the town is built on the side of a cliff, the school was on the top of said cliff at killimanjaro altitudes, my house was right at the bottom at the harbour).

So, used to call a cab and rush like hell and roll in for tutorial with bed hair.

Either that, or spend my £1 on 10 packets of transformasnax. Or Paula Abdul's (!) latest single.

When we were older we used to collect dinner money, and on a Friday buy 20-20 etc and hide in the hollow ceiling ready for Friday night rugby club discos.

Anyway my point is that my dinner money was very scarcely used to buy a proper dinner.

You're lucky the school chose to ignore the fact that he clearly had a phone on him (presumably against the rules) if he was able to text you that he'd not had lunch, and didn't confiscate it

By the time I was 15, I was spending my money on similar GOML, plus taking loads of food from home too, and occasionally borrowing from the office to add another couple of quid for Friday night out

YABU hes 13 ish so maybe next time he won't forget his money..or ask his mates for a lend .I lost count of the number of times my ds forgot his money/game kit etc ..not my problem I'm afraid