I want to ask this somewhre where I might get a range of responses so not asking in SN, ismore a would you agree with this lady thing than a AIBU. Sn kids in mainstream education.

[Peachy]

Someone today whom I respect immensely and regard as kind, told me that in her opinion children with disabilities like dyslexia etc (so ampresuming the whole gamut of SEN - SN) shoudln't be in MS schools because of the effect on the other kids.

She is someone who though not employed by school has access to DS1 (ASD) and ds2 (SEN not sure what) during school time in a volunteer role. I pretty much trust her.

DS3 attends an SNU placement, but I do wonder how many people really share that attitude. My experience and belief tells me that different kids benefit from different settings so parents should have final say (it took me 2 years to get ds3 his place, and I face a battle now to get ds1 into SN Comp placement).

?

anyone who could read oliandjoesmum's last post and then post that "speshul" comment has got FAR bigger problems than my ds or Riven's dd

it made me cry

I worry for princess's dd tbh, she is being denied a decent education outside school hours, never mind during

Better respond yt your post before it vanishes into MN vault of shame

I admitted my son was disruptive but struggling to get funding, I ask again: what would you do about it? SNU isn't allowed, and I am fighting even to get school to reply to me.

I don't think your daughter should ahve her haior pulled but I suspect bullying is the wrong word, am basing this on my very not basic knowledge of SN. tends to be mroelikely a fixation or stim than anything malevolent. Whilst not nice nonetheless useful info you could use to help your dd stop being scared of it.

And challenging behaviour is not permanent always, if often fades over a lifetime. Besides whilst ds3 hasnt challenging behaviour in terms of aggression he has very complex behaviours- no attentioopn span,fications,etc. I had a long chat with Psychs today about him and they say that whilst full time employment is unlikely it is not unlikely he will be able to do some home based PC work becuase his intellect and PC skills are sky high. Not that you'd know it to look at him mind.

I'm sorry to those who were upset by PP'sposts and feela bit embarassed to ahve started the thread,nevertheless I still fell knowledge of the attitudes out there is ultimately empowering, if depressing.

I've read that last post of yours over PP and I still can't believe that you posted it.

It's obvious to me who is beyond help, who is contributing little to society, unless adding to the great wealth of ignorance and bigotry that's already out there, counts,and it's certainly not those with special needs.

Thankyou MN for the quick response.

first time i have ever reported a post on MN, thanks for deleting it so quickly. You didn't miss much Riven.

It was extremely unpleasant and utter bs,more of the same really, and certainly not worth the precious few seconds I lost by reading it.

I hope that Princessparty is now banned.

ooohhh, quite intrigued to see the deleted reply!! All I wanted to say was don't lump all parents or children together. I am very well aware of my sons problems, I have focussed a huge proportion of my life in trying to resolve them. I would never want somebody else's child to suffer because of them, I do not think PPs daughter should have her hair pulled etc, it is horrid. but the impression I get is I am somehow ignorant myself and do not care. This is so not true, I just hate my child being included in this heard mentality of ship them off away from us normal kids, because I know with the right management he has so much to offer

Peachy dont be sorry.

I hope so too Candlewax because if not I've no doubt that she'll return to this thread.

In my experience the same people who say that children with SN should go to an SN school are the same people who gasp when you tell them how much tax payers money it would cost!

ha ha, yes, it costs a fortune for my son - the resourced provision + the 1-1 in mainstream + the taxi etc. It is about what I pay in tax but still it seems a amount, no wonder the government encourages inclusion against all other strategies, even when it doesn't work

Don't be sorry Peachy at all

I've just come back on to respond to Reallytired's comment that I don't know what I'm talking about with reference to schools for children who emotional and behavioural issues.

Many of my extended family either worked in , or still work in these schools. I grew up in staff houses within three of these schools. In holidays and at weekends some of the children were fostered by my parents when social services couldn't find any alternative places for them to go.

So I have spent much my childhood living with these children, and knowing many of the adults who care for these children. And they do care. They do not consider the children bad, destined for prison, have low academic expectations for them, or want to institutionalise them.

Factually, there were far more of those schools places in the sixties, seventies and eighties. While I appreciate that many people will disagree with me saying those schools provide the best care for many of those children - far better than a lot of the care offered by social services provision, I see no reason for anyone to claim that my perspective is based on ignorance.

A very interesting thread. I so wish I had had the support of MN when my DS1 was younger. I could really have done with it when he was at primary school.

MillR

I do think EBD schools have a place

When it goeswromng is when kids with ASD etc areplaced in themas it is entirely the worng approach,a child with ASD needs ASD specialism not EBD specialism.

Yes Peachy I agree - it would be an inappropriate environment for an ASD child.

the more I think about pp's attitude the more miserable it makes me feel

people like that aren't even expressing a view of what is the best kind of provision for children with complex needs - they just want them "got rid of" so their children can live in a bubble

and I know some of the mothers of children in my ds's class don't like him and would like him moved on - not because he's aggressive or disruptive, but because they think he is "weird" and they have a visceral reaction to his difference which they do not even feel compelled to explore - they just want him wiped out of their children's reality

how anyone could look at my sweet, funny, thoughful, innocent little boy and just want to put him in the bin, basically...

and it makes me wonder what the hell is going to happen to him when he's older - if he doesn't manage to achieve his goals, if he doesn't get the job that would make him happy and enable him to use his talents - it won't be because of his limitations, it won't be because of his "special needs", it will be because people like this need to see him fail, in order to justify their snobbery and confirm their twisted world view

I have just finished a module at Uni on inclusive education. A very thought provoking module, and one that looked at inclusion from every view point...good or bad.

I was however, left really concerned by the opinion of one member of my group who is a middle aged mother of two (both school age children). After everything we learnt and researched regarding inclusion for children with SEN she was still of the opinion that any child who disrupts the class should be removed for good!!

She refused to see it from any other perspective justifying herself with stories of her two precious children and how there education is being ruined by 'naughty children' with SEN

The most disturbing part of this is that she is on the board of governors at her school, and claims many had the same opinion as her. She is also completing her degree with the hope of becoming a fucking teacher