I want to ask this somewhre where I might get a range of responses so not asking in SN, ismore a would you agree with this lady thing than a AIBU. Sn kids in mainstream education.

[Peachy]

Someone today whom I respect immensely and regard as kind, told me that in her opinion children with disabilities like dyslexia etc (so ampresuming the whole gamut of SEN - SN) shoudln't be in MS schools because of the effect on the other kids.

She is someone who though not employed by school has access to DS1 (ASD) and ds2 (SEN not sure what) during school time in a volunteer role. I pretty much trust her.

DS3 attends an SNU placement, but I do wonder how many people really share that attitude. My experience and belief tells me that different kids benefit from different settings so parents should have final say (it took me 2 years to get ds3 his place, and I face a battle now to get ds1 into SN Comp placement).

?

ferret.

I know a severely disabled child who had real bricks thrown at him when he was playing in his garden.

But pp wouldn't be interested in that presumably.

Ferret, your poor ds, mine is exactly the same.

He attended a birthday party at a boy's house (his 1st) and all the children went upstairs to play in the bedroom with toys.

My ds was told to wait outside the door and wasnt allowed to play. Luckily i went upstairs to use the toilet and found him happily standing outside. (and he told me not to say anything, as the boys 'wouldnt want to play with him' again)

It is heart breaking, that he is prepared to accept the scraps of friendship thrown to him. Kids can be so cruel and with a couple of the attitudes on this thread, i know why.

PP, i have really been trying to keep my cool on this thread and not take offence to the shit you are spouting.

It has been explained to you time and time again, its not just SN kids who hit other children. In fact it is usually the other way round. Perhaps these boys are who are bullying your DD, are repeating what has been done to them.

So rather than stereotyping all SN kids, i suggest you get your arse up the school and sort it out.

I am not spitefully name calling I thought 'Special needs' was the correct term My DD has been name-called on this thread for being an innocent victim!!I have been very measured in response to some of the abusive comments which have been directed at me for stating my view that disruptive kids whether sn or non sn shouldn't have been in a MS school.Some of you are just so darned aggressive
I have consistently and repeatedly said that I don't mind SN kids being in a ms stream school AS LONG AS IT IS NOT TO THE DETRIMENT OF THE OTHER KIDS.Which seems to me (and the government) a very reasonable position.
I don't think NT persistently disruptive kids should be there either they should either be excluded, or if permanantly excluded, sent to pupil referral centre
Although according to [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/anger-over-exclusions-for-special-needs- pupils-1842572.html this]
thay are 8x more likely to excluded than NT kids

SN is the correct term for children with special needs.
SEN is the correct term for children who have special education needs ( which may or may not be linked to a disability.

You wrote
"And they are never punished because they are 'speshul"
which is neither of the above and is sneering and revolting.

I am genuinely sorry if people called your DD names, I didn't. I don't call children names. Or sneer at them

'special needs' is the correct term.

'speshul' - used as an insult, is not.

Did you read the article that you linked to? Or did you just read the headline and imagine the content? It is actually written in support of children with special needs and describes how the system is failing them.

It'snot hgecuase you stated the view PP, its comments such as parents dont care etc, and the speshul bit was just low.

I have replied to youseveraltimes but if you want to know therelaity lok at my thread linked to furtehr down then tellme I amnot trying hard enough to proptect other kids? I know ds1 has the issues he does, and I am sick of a complete lack of access to help. i would much rather ds1 be kept in at lunchtime as a punishment than allowed to be in a playground with a child with a grudge and a weapon.

PP, seems to me that your anger and frustration is being directed at the wrong people ie the 2 boys and special needs.

If these 2 boys are bullying your dd, you should complain to the school. You shouldnt be feeling sorry for them because they have special needs. You should be feeling sorry for them because they are not getting the help they need and your complaint might help them to get it.

Perhaps the boys parents have been asking the school for more help and not getting it. Your complaint could help them to get it.

Perhaps the boys parents dont feel the school is the right place and have been trying to change schools or get a place at a special needs school. Your complaint could help.

One thing is certain if the school are not aware of the problem, nothing will improve for the boys or your dd.

Well said Claw.

getorf you're so going to get dp a cool scarf now...

Ok well the 'speshul bit was a bit below the bely because I have been very unreasonably attacked on this thread because I hold a different opinion to most on this thread.I don't believe it is an unreasonable opinion because it is actually the law of teh land.

PP, if your dd is getting her hair pulled and property damaged on a daily basis, why havent you complained?

PP, it seems to me that you are only being 'attacked', as you put it, because you label all children with SN/SEN with the same brush because of a single, isolated incident. Your DDs school have clearly failed her by not dealing with this bullying, but to extrapolate from that that all 'disruptive' children should be excluded is wrong, and is disrimination of the highest order. My brother essentially was excluded, because as an ASD child who was slightly overweight, he had no way of coping with bullies at his 72-student village school. My mum, a qualified LSA, was forced to sacrifice other children with SEN to look after and educate him because the school did not protect him.

So both of us have come across situations in which a child has been bullied. Does the fact that my brother was bullied by 'normal' and not "speshul" children mean that they should have been excluded as well? Or should the school in fact have dealt with the bullying as is their responsibility. My brother was 'disruptive', but so is a child with a broken leg or arm, or a child who is colourblind, in a wheelchair or missing an arm - simply because there are times when they cannot sit nicely in class and just do as the teacher says. Should they all be excluded? What about children with epilepsy? or CP, or any of the other SNs mentioned here? How do you implement a blanket exclusion and how do you draw the line at what constitutes 'disruption'? What if the teacher develops a condition - are they then to be 'excluded' from teaching?

No one is trying to attack you. We are simply pointing out that when you have a child or relative with SN/SEN, you see a whole new, vicious world in which people actively discriminate against the people who are most vulnerable, and your comments have come across in a manner which suggests you agree with that discrimination. As for the two SN children who have bullied your DD, how supportive are their parents? How much do those childrne understand as to the appropriateness of their behaviour? My brother once lost his temper and shook me so hard I was terrified, but I don't blame him because he didn't do it out of malice, only frustration. Perhaps these children do need far more support than they are getting, and the school and their parents have failed them as much as your DD has been failed. But either way, to blame them, and, by association, many thousands of other children you have never met, is wrong.

what is the law of the land?

I don't know what you are trying to say?

The thing is PP, several posters have suggested throughout the thread that you speak to the school, for the wellbeing of both the two boys in question and the rest of the class, but you don't seem to have acknowledged them. Moaning about it online but taking no action in school is doing no one any good, least of all your daughter. These children are not being supported correctly. If you put enough pressure on the school, they will need to do so which will improve your daughter's experience at school.

pp - read my earlier post re your responsibilities towards the education of children at your child's school. your responsibility is indeed to speak to the HT and demand appropriate support for the sn children - to enable them to access their own education and reach their potential, as well as to enable your child to do the same. your responsibility is not to react in a hostile and nimby manner and to demand that sn children are removed from the setting.

you are quite right. your child is being let down. but so are the children with sn. it may be that in the long run, the authorities/ parents of the sn child/ren will decide it is not an appropriate setting, and the children will be placed where their needs can be met.

that is NOT your decision. your responsibility is to request that the disruption and bullying is dealt with by the provision of additional support.

gah. this is why parents of cvhildren with sn get sooooooo frustrated. just try to see the bigger picture, pp, please.

PP - I also think that most of the posters replying to this thread, have children or relatives with SN's and have been very patient and informative to you. Despite you slagging off all sn parents, children and anyone with sn in one broad sweep.

I think you will find that most SN parents or relatives dont mind talking about sn's as its an opportunity to inform the ill informed and hopefully give them a bit more insight.

You seem to be avoiding this and continuing with your 'im being attacked' approach.

PP are you aware that parents have nt kids as well? we are not sn parents

just read this, what a stupid ignorant arrogant woman PP is, won't waste my words trying to advise or correct her total ignorance of sn and sen.
Go back to your hole pp, and stay there.

Actually I am thinking of dividing my house in half so that DCs 1 and 3 are not affected by DS2.

.... actually way more likely to be the other way around. DS1 has spent the last month trying to teach DS2 that when someone says 'supper time' you have to grab them and lick their ears.
DS2 has got the idea.

Every time I shout 'kids- supper time' Ds1 waits hoping that DS2 will pile in and lick my ears for 10 mins ( he is nearly as big as me)
Every time I shout supper time DS2 grabs DS1 and licks his ears

DS1 forgotthe whole 'taking things literally and struggle to generalise' bit of ASD

Can't wait til DS1's girlfriend stops for supper....

I tried to reply to this thread last night but it didnt work for some reason. Just as well because I couldnt work out how to word it without it sounding a bit weedy.

My DS has SN. His SN is not as severe as a lot of the children mentioned on this thread. I am aware that there are plenty of posters on MNs who have to deal with far harder challenges than I do.

Yet I am still incredibly depressed by this thread and the notion that my son is somehow a danger or detriment to his classmates.

I am a bit of a hardarse but TBH this notion brings me close to tears. Not because I believe it but because I am so angry/upset/frustrated that anyone would actually think this was the case.

As has already been mentioned, my DS is far more vunerable to being bullied than a child without SN. This is not just true of his early school years, he is not suddenly going to become streetwise and able to take care of himself. Unlike most children without SN who become less vunerable as they mature.

So if my DS gets in a ruck at school will the fact he has SN be used against him? Why, because have a learning disability and processing disorder means you are bound to be trouble arnt you?

If a child is pulling hair, stealing etc it needs to be addressed regardless. Whinging about it is not going to change anything. I cant help feeling that if you just keep moaning about the kids with 'sn' and not adressing it you can keep justifying your predjudices about disability.