to think there's a case for complying with a DH's sexual fantasy,even if you're NOT really up for it?

[WashwithCare]

Had lunch with some friends today, and this was the discussion.

20 years ago, I would have said NO WAY - sex should be totally mutual, pleasurable to both etc...

However, now I'm not so sure. My mate's H has hinted he would like to try X. My mate is OMG - NO!

However, she says she is still thinking about it... DH has been her love for 10 years. He has supported her. Never minded having virtually no sex for 2 years after a difficult birth and PND. Told her she was gorgeous and supported her fully every day....

So she is pondering whether he "deserves" X for super good behaviour - and because (we know he is the most faithful H ever) he is not going to get it ever, less she relents!

So I started off saying NO WAY - but as she spoke perhaps think her position isn't that unreasonable... But I am huge and hormonal... so what do I know!

Is there anything you could google and not find a porn site about?

Is that a challenge Tethersend?

I am off to google cairn terrier porn.

Well I didn't think I was going to like it until I tried it. So there you go.

I have no desire to do pegging but if I did, I'd be sure to try and persuade my boyfriend into giving it a whirl. It's not sexist, it's about sex.

I think it is, MillyR...

Am off to do the same.

dittany - I guess you miss out on a lot of interesting experiences with that attitude.

28 years of my life I thought eating mussles was yuck. Once I tried them I really regretted that my prejudice towards bivalves cheated me of 28 years of culinary bliss.

You could have an equal epiphany with anal sex, and if you don't like it, you at least know you don't like it and don't just assume.

Haven't had a chance to read through all posts, but personally I wouldn't take pleasure in something if I knew my partner wasn't really enjoying it.

If you know your partner well, then it would be pretty obvious if they were faking their enjoyment and tbh that would be a complete turn off for me.

As for him 'deserving it', I see sex as a mutual thing not something to be given as payment for your partner being nice to you in a time of need.

i'm off to search lego porn

Milly, I'm not sure even Barbara Woodhouse, could tell which breed is doing the things I have just seen.

It's hot and plastiky!

And to think, all these years I hated Lego!

I was missing out on all that bliss.

Knock yourself out, expat

Why is a sexual request any different than a non-sexual request? Unless there is something darker at hand (and this sounds like a happy, mutually-respectful marriage), then why the hell would OP's friend need counselling?

If she doesn't like it - he stops. Not too complicated. DH dislikes giving me shoulder massages, but does so because I love them. I reciprocate in kind. Isn't balance the key?

that is hot and plastiky indeed!

it's all about balance.

Awaits Milly's return.

Sorry, I got sidetracked googling Yorkshire pudding porn and then looking at the images.

I feel a bit inadequate now.

The first thing is that there is never anything wrong, in a happy relationship, with asking for a new and untried sexual activity (that's legal and doesn't involve injury or death or destruction of the soft furnishings...). And if something out-and-out revolts you then of course you shouldn't offer to put up with it, it won't be fun for either party. But if it's something you haven't tried, aren't all that bothered about trying but think your partner would really enjoy then it's reasonable to at least consider it - and maybe give it a go on the understanding that if you don't like it, you stop straight away and there's no blaming going on.
Lots of longterm couples apparently enjoy now and again catering to each other's fantasies, as long as everyone gets their turn it works out just fine.

that is so much better than going to a restaurant with no underwear and then taking it up the butt!

yorkshire puddings.

genius.

cairn terrier turn up trumps?

WashWithCare, is this really your friend you are talking about here...

nudge, nudge

And do you know how to use the 'search' function?

I could not find any cairn terrier perversion, although possibly I was too cowardly to investigate fully. It was only after googling that I realised it inevitably brought up Wizard of Oz themed activities.

It has to be preferable to dress up as a dog than a tin man, surely?

I'm a bit late here but wouldn't the dinner consist of chocolate mouSSe rather than a chocolate mouse (eek eek)?

Just wondering...

I think dittany has found it!

Can's find any anal mussel porn anywhere!

Well done, dittany

mussels up bum!

eureka!

we have found our new source for a topic on which there might not be extant porn.