to think there's a case for complying with a DH's sexual fantasy,even if you're NOT really up for it?

[WashwithCare]

Had lunch with some friends today, and this was the discussion.

20 years ago, I would have said NO WAY - sex should be totally mutual, pleasurable to both etc...

However, now I'm not so sure. My mate's H has hinted he would like to try X. My mate is OMG - NO!

However, she says she is still thinking about it... DH has been her love for 10 years. He has supported her. Never minded having virtually no sex for 2 years after a difficult birth and PND. Told her she was gorgeous and supported her fully every day....

So she is pondering whether he "deserves" X for super good behaviour - and because (we know he is the most faithful H ever) he is not going to get it ever, less she relents!

So I started off saying NO WAY - but as she spoke perhaps think her position isn't that unreasonable... But I am huge and hormonal... so what do I know!

Nothing to get over, mumcentre!

So, following Dittany's logic - I'm an abused wife because I like my husband to spank me, pull my hair, leave bite / nail marks on me and generally do all the things I ask him to do? Erm, NO actually, I control pretty much every aspect of our life and it's the one time I hand over that control. OOOh, oooh, perhaps it's his "revenge" on me for being such a nagging shrew?

It's about raw animalisitc passion , if people want to be humiliated /gagged / hogtied / whipped - OK it's not my thing but they like it, they must do , the "props" cost a fortune!

I'm also a bit {hmm] that she never gives any personal information out - it's very odd that she never mentions a husband / partner or indeed any kind of sexual preference of her own, all the time decrying the sexual likes of others.

I know mal, dittany dodged my simple questions again. I didn't even get a "fuck off and mind your own business".

Mal. I've had a little thought today (like you do). If I have ever been horrid to you, I apologise. I think you are fab (a bit mad, it cannot be denied) but nevertheless, fab.

Aww thank you - I am a teensy bit mad, even DH says I am. Some people were particularly vile to me when I came back to MN after a few years break, with another name - I had unfortunately popped up at the same time as the extended troll I seem to recall.

I have a sense of humour (most of the time) and a slightly wicked streak, but I do post honestly and from the heart.

Dittany strikes me as not really liking men too much and seems uncomfortably close to an "all men are rapists and will take advantage if we let them" stance.

I think I might have been a bit vile to you

I do actually agree with a lot of what Dittany says (sorry to talk about you as if you are not here...), but personally what I am missing is the human element

I don't have the context of even a teensy bit of personal information, so struggle to see where her most outspoken stuff comes from IYSWIM

of course, Dittany is under nooooo obligation whatsoever to indulge me...or anyone for that matter

I agree with dittany a lot of the time but when solidgoldbrass and dittany disagree, I tend to be err more on solidgoldbrass's side. If that makes sense

yup

I can also be swayed by either of 'em if they post separately on the same subject...

Blimey

did somebody say summat ?

SGB and dittany represent the poles of feminism to me - you both take no shit from blokes and give women on here brilliant advice on how to deal with errant menfolk but when it comes to sex and porn you are opposite ends of the spectrum. Sorry for putting you in the spotlight, I just find it quite interesting

me too

and mal just makes me laugh