about my husband giving a girl a lift to work, I ma being unresonable but can't help it!

[alfiesmadmother]

Talk some sense into me!

I had a baby a couple of weeks ago (important bit!), my 4th.

Found out this morning that this week DH is giving a girl a lift to and from work. I have no doubt this is a lift and only a lift! But he forgot to tell me. He has been setting off ten mins early and arriving home ten minutes late (because of traffic, of course). To make things worse it is MY car he is going in as his is in the garage. Also she texted him for a lift- why has she got his number? And he has never mentioned her before. aND HE ALWAYS RINGS ME WHEN LEAVING WORK to chat and hasn't this week as he has been talking to her in the car. And to ask for a lift surely they must get on well>

His explanation- sorry I feel anrgy, I thought I told you, can't I give someone a lift, I won't give anyone a lift again. The end.

My response I HAVE JUST HAD A BABY, SHOW ME SOME RESPECT, I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!

So after dropping the kids of at school I have howled into my new baby and am still howling now and I would normaly have fogotton it by now but I am still angry.

Can anyone help.

I think it does mean theres problems at home minx, but lets face it there always is isnt there, even if its just hassle with the kids or not enough attention / support from your partner.It is a sign of something wrong but how many of us realise this and rush home to fix whatever is wrong?

If you had felt differantly / been flattered by your freinds attentions it couldve been differant and i assume he kept this to himself for some time.The problem is there are times when we feel vulnerable , unsupported or taken for granted, during these times it can be easy to develop feelings for someone whos making you feel good/ distracting you from problems ect.Its not deliberate.

Im divorced now, and im truly sorry for what stupidly happened and i hate the om, someone i once declared undying love for, and i know eh feels the same about his ow too. Had i not been so down and thinking clearly it wouldnt have happened.And i never ever thought i wouldve been someone who could have an affair.I know how it happens and i would take steps to make sure it never happened again and id expect a partner to do the same.

I assume if op h had come home and said " oh by the way so and so has asked me for a lift " there wouldnt have been a problem.Anyway, op i hope everythings sorted now.

dignified - but if I understand the OP right he had thought he had mentioned it. I believe it's entirely possible eveen that it was mentioned in passing but wasn't registrered, baby brain and all that.

It doesn's sound to me as if he had deliberately hidden it, if he did, the OP still wouldn't know about it.

I find it sad how little some of the posters here trust their partners, and how helpfulness is immediately misconstrued into something sinister.

I used to give a male colleague a lift, just becauseI thought it's stupid for him to have a 90 minute public transport nightmare each way, when I can drop him off and we're both home in half an hour.

I didn't ask my husbands permission (and didn't need to, he likes me being friendly and helpful to people). People at work started all kinds of rumours about me shagging the colleague out of sheer stupidity. Why can't people cope with the fact that some people just like to help?

Totally agree, dignified.

Sadly, opportunity is a catalyst for affairs. Fine to say that a good husband will never stray anyway, but why throw opportunity into the mix?

Remember Jude Law and his affair with the nanny. Of course you would say he is an arse anyway. But that nanny would not have stood a chance but for the fact she was in close quarters.

Also, people who travel a lot on business are prime candidates for affairs.

My dh agrees it is odd for the OP's husband not to mention the lift for so many days.

ethan hawke married the nanny. another perfect example of proximity and opportunity.

I'm not saying the OP's DH is having, or about to have, an affair.

I am saying she's reasonable to be upset about his behaviour, regardless.

Alfiesmad.....how are things panning out?