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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A weighty issue, sorry.

340 replies

namechangedwithgoodreason · 16/01/2010 00:14

I have namechanged, because I am quite sure I am going to get a pasting for this, but I have to get some opinions on this situation, so please be honest with me.

My mother is a very large lady. Her weight causes her alot of health problems (her Dr has stressed the importance of losing weight to her for years)
My DH's best mate is also a very large man, although no known health problems there.

I honestly don't give a monkeys arse if they eat too much and exercise too little, because they like to live that way. It does not bother me in the slightest. I have to stress this, before you all flame me.
I do object to my mother volunteering to tell me a whole load of lies about what she eats every day and then bemoans the fact she has not lost weight. (My brother still lives at home and sees the portions my mother eats, and his story is different. Also, when my mother was hospitalised for sleep apnea (sp), she lost alot of weight very very quickly.)

I have told my mother it is her business what she eats and when, I am not bothered, but she still feels a need to lie totell me in minute detail every last morsel she claims to have eaten every day.

What does worry me though, and this is where people will be most annoyed at me I think, is when DH best mate or my mother come to my house, or when I give either of them a lift anywhere.

My car is 4 years old and it groans when either of them get in it. (I have never had them both in it at the same time)
Neither of them can get the seat belt around themselves easily, and I always sit them in the front, but they spill over onto my handbrake a little.

I always find my car veers to the left after giving either of them a lift, and my tyre pressure is always 'down' afterwards.

In my house, neither will sit on my kitchen chairs, because one of the chairs collapsed on DH's mate one evening.

My sofa has been broken today by mother pushing on the arm to get herself up, and we both heard a loud crack.
This is the 2nd sofa my mother has broken.

My other brother lives with his DW and 3DC, and he has had chairs collapse, and we have both had toilet seats broken more times than we care to remember. My mother's 2 year old divan bed has now collapsed in the middle, and she is probably going to buy a iron framed bed and mattress.

I know you will probably all say I am being nasty, but what weight is the average sofa/car/kitchen table/bed designed for?

My DB thinks cars especially are designed to carry quite alot of weight.

My mother's car never groans, and she is convinced my car is probably ready for the knackers yard because of the noises it makes when she gets in.

Of course, I have not told my mother my car doesn't make noises like that all the time, nor have I mentioned that I think it is her weight that is causing her bed to collapse, or my sofa to break, but please please tell me, for my own peace of mind, how big would someone have to be before you were a little concerned about them being in your car or sitting on your sofa.

FWIW, DH best mate is proud to say he is 37st 4lb, and my mother says the last time she was weighed at the Dr, she was 26st 8lb.

Please share your thoughts with me, while I run and take cover hide

OP posts:
Alambil · 17/01/2010 00:31

oh.. run out of steam so soon?

I am so disappointed

Armi · 17/01/2010 00:31

Tethersend - I think you should. It might be a deciding factor. Perhaps we should weigh all dictators, heads of state and prime ministers and decide on their beastliness depending on their BMI. I imagine Hitler would turn out to be not a bad fellow.

Am a bit worried about the verdict for Churchill, mind.

tethersend · 17/01/2010 00:31

I just want to know who you find more morally disgusting, MMM...

mummysgoingmad · 17/01/2010 00:31

dont drink! ok so i've listed two tv programmes would you like me to get you some links as well, in fact scrub that..its pointless!!!!!

BrahmsThirdRacket · 17/01/2010 00:32

I don't share mummysgoingmad's view, but I do think you can find people morally reprehensible for different reasons and on different levels. E.g. I find Hitler, obviously, to be morally reprehensible but also Alistair Campbell, the Daily Mail, people who drop litter, but obviously they're not all equally bad and it's not for the same reason.

Armi · 17/01/2010 00:32

Of course you don't drink. That would be too much like fun.

tethersend · 17/01/2010 00:33

No, but surely you could put the in rank order, Brahms?

tethersend · 17/01/2010 00:33

the = them

Mermaidspam · 17/01/2010 00:34

2 shit tv programmes

BrahmsThirdRacket · 17/01/2010 00:34

Yeah, of course and probably so could mummy, I doubt she would seriously put Mugabe and McManus at the same level...would you mummy? [pleading Labrador-like stare]

Armi · 17/01/2010 00:35

Hisses Mermaidspam...you said a bad word!!!

Fruitysunshine · 17/01/2010 00:37

It's pouring outside.

Mermaidspam · 17/01/2010 00:37

I'm taking bets on where the next nugget of information is going to come from

Ricki Lake - 2/1
Jenny Jones - 8/1
Sally Jessy Raphael 5/3
Montel - 6/1

DandyLioness · 17/01/2010 00:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tethersend · 17/01/2010 00:40

'Dictate my Weight'... That's a snappy title!

DandyLioness · 17/01/2010 00:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tethersend · 17/01/2010 00:44

It would save the UN a lot on trials for war crimes... public could vote, £1.50/min, job done.

Mermaidspam · 17/01/2010 00:45

No, Dandy - the "behind the scenes" show could be on ITV2 - "Dictate my Weight - Plus sized!"

Fruitysunshine · 17/01/2010 00:45
Sad
BrahmsThirdRacket · 17/01/2010 00:46

Why are you fruitysunshine?

mummysgoingmad · 17/01/2010 00:46

of course not!! just as i dont form my opinions on people regarding their weight. Can i jsu say the gut i used to work with asked ME for advice.. a personal trainer was my advice

Alambil · 17/01/2010 00:47

fruity, I think they're being ironic.... or somethin

Don't take it personally x

Mermaidspam · 17/01/2010 00:47

You ok Fruity?

Alambil · 17/01/2010 00:48

er, you have just entirely contradicted yourself there, mummygoingmad

tethersend · 17/01/2010 00:48

"just as i dont form my opinions on people regarding their weight"

"personally i find people who are that size physically and morally disgusting > its a combination of being lazy and greedy!"