to believe you can't steal husbands?

[WashwithCare]

I have been perplexed to read on here that some posters seem to believe you can "steal someone else's husband".

I am sure you can steal a dog or a handbag, maybe even a good idea(!?!)... but spouses, even if belong with each other, certainly do not belong to each other.

Equally, I'm rather confused that once a man has married or other moved onto the ummmm... the "new model", how can the lady in question continue to be termed the OW? Surely, she is now "The Woman"...

Just wondering as people keep referring to the NM culture about this issue, so sorry if it has been debated before.

If you go out with a married man and you know he is married and you want him to leave his wife for you then yes IMO you are stealing him and you are the other woman

are you seeng a married man or have you?!?

You may not be stealing by law but you are stealing them in spirit if that makes sense

why not debate this on your original thread,with those who said it.rather than traipse it across mn

imo,there is no mn culture,there is diverse group individuals with pc and wide range of opinions.there is no homogeneous mass

I agree. A handbag is an innate object that has no say in whether or not it is 'stolen'.

To say a husband has been stolen is a bit too much like saying the husband wasn't involved in the decision at all!

Innate? Inanimate!

No, I have never dated a married man - not to my knowledge anyway.

I am married though. I don't see my Husband as my possession. If he left me for someone else, I would assume that our marriage wasn't great, and that my husband hadn't been happy with me.

I don't think I'd believe that he had been "stolen" and that the fault lay with the woman he had gone with. It sort of suggests that had she not come along, everythign would have been peachey...

If he divorce me and married her, I might be able to say there was another woman involved in the split - but you could hardly continue to refer to her as the OW for years - could you? Or am I missing something?

You can certainly try.

You can't steal someone who doesn't want to be stolen, but equally you can't have an affair unless someone is willing to have the affair with you.

(obviously in some cases the single party doesn't know that the other is taken).

wwc.

I am guessing you don't appreciate some people thinking of you as the other woman..

Yes goulsoutloud - that's what I mean.

If DH ran off with the woman from the Chippie, I might say he let me down or broke his promises but to say she stole him is odd to me.. She didn't promise me anything, and to make her the active agent in all of this... and him the innocent party that just got pulled along by the whiff of her lard... is just plain weird...

YANBU

If my husband left me for another woman I would blame him and only him had he not discussed wit me that he was unhappy in our relationship.

It wouldn't be the other ladys's fault. As unethical as I think it is to date married people, it's these marries people's job to protect their marriage, noone else's!

Husbands are stolen every day. It is heartbreaking to see all the wives out combing the streets, putting up posters on lampposts and suchlike. Often, they cannot afford to replace them and the insurance is frankly inadequate.

you need to better chippy,in hyndland they never use lard,hen

Fab - it had never occurred to me that anyone would think of my as the OW. If you had asked me yesterday what I thought the term meant, I would have said that it was when a person was simultaneously running two relationships with 2 different women... Isn't that what most people mean by this term?

OP, you are overthinking this.

Not always.

This is a sort of MN thing, like fretting too much about the shade of your cream paintwork

I don't think most people use terms such as "other woman" and "stealing husbands"

at least no one I know does

I also find it very perplexing

Also I tried leaving my husband out on the doorstep for a couple of weeks but no one stole him

It seems a very old-fashioned way of looking at infidelity. Poor Dear Man led astray.
You need to be an adult to marry, and to be responsible for your actions.
Bit like blaming girls in short skirts and low tops for rape.
Because no man could resist?

lol@hullygully

Hullygully, my DH isn't worth insuring

no, i guess not, but you can behave like a selfish marriage-wrecking whore. (only joking pet)

If my husband went off with another woman he would be an adulterer

and she would be a marriage and home wrecker IMO and I would call her the other woman until I died

My best friends dad did the above and she has never forgiven the other woman , her step mother, for wrecking her mums life
this is why people refuse to grant divorces etc
you can't underestimate the damage these types if reationships do (just look on mn at threads by people who have been through it) semantics doesn't come into it IMO

Relocates to the Byres Road purely to please Scottishmummy - is that better, love?

I suppose if you removed your husband's brain, and then stuffed him with straw and left him on the mantlepiece, then someone could steal him

I'd quite like to freecyle mine.

But no, OP, YANBU (not going to go and find other thread, have a birthday party to go to)
I suppose it's a done-wrong-to woman's way of justifying the fact that her husband preferred to fuck someone else. Can't be his fault, or that would somehow imply something about her.

Meh.