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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to believe you can't steal husbands?

359 replies

WashwithCare · 10/01/2010 14:35

I have been perplexed to read on here that some posters seem to believe you can "steal someone else's husband".

I am sure you can steal a dog or a handbag, maybe even a good idea(!?!)... but spouses, even if belong with each other, certainly do not belong to each other.

Equally, I'm rather confused that once a man has married or other moved onto the ummmm... the "new model", how can the lady in question continue to be termed the OW? Surely, she is now "The Woman"...

Just wondering as people keep referring to the NM culture about this issue, so sorry if it has been debated before.

OP posts:
Original poster
WashwithCare · 10/01/2010 14:56

Relocates to the Byres Road purely to please Scottishmummy - is that better, love?

OP posts:
Heracles · 10/01/2010 14:57

I haven't stolen a husband but I did once leave a shop and discover I had one on me by accident. It was all very embarrassing...

morningpaper · 10/01/2010 14:57

How embarassing Heracules

Did an alarm go off?

morningpaper · 10/01/2010 14:58

I suppose you can steal dogs

You could try putting a husband on a lead and waving some delicious sausages in front of him

(is that how you steal dogs?)

dittany · 10/01/2010 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 10/01/2010 14:59

some husbands are mangy dogs not worth stealing

Hullygully · 10/01/2010 14:59

I find that when I go out I tend to accrue several quite unintentionally. I believe they are drawn to my ample frontage and shopping bag full of nourishing manly foods like pork pies and ale. I try to shake them off and can be quite firm about closing the front door on them, but it is hard to hear their little piteous cries through the letterbox.

But if they have been microshipped I do phone their wives to collect them.

Original poster
WashwithCare · 10/01/2010 15:00

Compo - I don't understand how your friend can believe that her step mother runied her mother's life - was being married to her father the only good thing in it? Surely not!

All this mild hysteria about evil OW and stealing men is such a nonsense... relationsihps fail - it's life - not the end of life...

Boy, that felt quite profound...

OP posts:
Heracles · 10/01/2010 15:02

@ morningpaper. No alarm, no. So I guess he'd been allowed out without a security tag; that's pretty much just ASKING someone to steal him, isn't it?

scottishmummy · 10/01/2010 15:02

husbands cant be stolen they have no resale value

diddl · 10/01/2010 15:02

WWC, when you started seeing your husband was he actually married to someone else?

GinandChocolate · 10/01/2010 15:03

I agree - you can't steal someone, they get to choose.

And before anyone asks whether or not I am seeing a married man (I am but he was already separated when we started seeing each other).

I was a wife in this situation for 13 years though and I would never judge his girlfriends/mistresses. They were victims of his lies too.

ChickensHaveFrozenNuggets · 10/01/2010 15:04

I like stealing husbands and switching them around. Often the wives are grateful (apart from the one who ends up with the non-washing, farting variety).

scottishmummy · 10/01/2010 15:05

it is quite egocentric to start thread about your ow status and demand for understanding

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 10/01/2010 15:05

OP - read your Op again and then your 3pm post.

diddl · 10/01/2010 15:06

Didn´t answer question

No, I don´t think you can steal a husband.

morningpaper · 10/01/2010 15:07

I was never stolen

I was fairly often a free gift when you bought a pint of beer

compo · 10/01/2010 15:08

Washwithcare - you have obviously never seen at firsthand the devastation it causes, the loss of mutual friends, loosing your home, having to uproot your children, dealing with them crying for their father and not being able to say 'he is not here because he fucked off with his secretary' etc etc
you sound naive

Hullygully · 10/01/2010 15:08

MP -I heard it was half a shandy.

morningpaper · 10/01/2010 15:09

compo lots of families survive without those ramifications, they are not inevitable

compo · 10/01/2010 15:11

I know but I can see why people use words like steal and other woman forger afterwards

Morloth · 10/01/2010 15:12

I don't think you can actually "steal" a thinking adult. What I do wonder in these situations is why anyone with even half a brain would want them?

How could you possibly trust someone who clearly cannot be trusted? The justifications are always the same when it is discussed and they are always presented as why this case is different, why this man is special etc. They never are, it is always the same bullshit.

If they will do it with you, they will do it to you.

Heracles · 10/01/2010 15:12

Thing is, you start with something small like pick n mixes, perhaps you pop a grape in your mouth while you're mooching round Waitrose. Before you know it you've moved on to stealing first cousins and, as any fule kno, they're just a gateway drug leading directly to husband theft, uncle trafficking and, the big one, wholesale importing of pure mother-in-laws...

squashimodo · 10/01/2010 15:13

was just about to post on importance of pocket sizes etc.

morningpaper · 10/01/2010 15:13

That isn't true Morloth - I have been faithful in some relationships and not in others