to believe you can't steal husbands?

[WashwithCare]

I have been perplexed to read on here that some posters seem to believe you can "steal someone else's husband".

I am sure you can steal a dog or a handbag, maybe even a good idea(!?!)... but spouses, even if belong with each other, certainly do not belong to each other.

Equally, I'm rather confused that once a man has married or other moved onto the ummmm... the "new model", how can the lady in question continue to be termed the OW? Surely, she is now "The Woman"...

Just wondering as people keep referring to the NM culture about this issue, so sorry if it has been debated before.

Hmmm, just realised who OP is....very annoying.

SupportHelps, you might want to start your own thread on this, preferably not in AIBU, but in Relationships. You would get more responses that way.

WWC, do you think it's because you claim to be a new poster and have started your mumsnet 'career' with a clutch of inflammatory threads?

WWC, in your terms, 'reasoned arguments' merely means agrees with you.

supporthelps...so sorry you are in that position, it sounds very, very difficult for you

cut and paste your thread and put it in relationships under your own steam, you will get more replies

WWC, don't GCSE exams start this week, not in June ???

Yes, WWC, GSCE's next week!

Are you going to write an essay on reptilian love?

you can't kid a kidder !

< High-fives expat >

Thank you! I am new here. I will post in the other area. Appreciate your help and patience.

Hi Supporthelps, I had a very similar experience to yours; my exH showed a lot of symptoms of bipolar disease, and also narcissism, which is eerily similar -- I never found out exactly what he was primarily suffering from because he completely excluded me from his treatment and diagnosis and I got absolutely no support from the doctor who treated him, who was apparently bound by confidentiality factors ( Hello medical community ! A husband does not exist in a real vacuum, though mine did to a large extent, in his head)

The shifting goalposts and the inability to recall important details of agreements reached, words said, gestures made can all be interpreted as gaslighting (see this site as well as being indicators of bipolar disorder. As my ex had used a knife to stab the pillow on my side of the bed one night while suicidal, and as our children were all in the house living with us, I felt it was wise for the sake of our welfare, maybe even our lives, to start thinking about ending the relationship. He also told me he had cut himself with knives many times. I hid all but the most versatile and most used kitchen knives -- I was down to just three sharp ones in the kitchen, and I even hid those every night so he couldn't find them.

Later I found he had been disconnected emotionally from our family for years (sought excitement and thrills outside of home, was deeply into porn, etc,. unknown to me) and I ended up getting tested for every std in the book after finding some of the hookup sites he had been on. I would be no use to my children sick or dead -- this was a factor in my decision that it had to end.