to think that size 14 is NOT that bad?

[Coldhands]

I have always been naturally thin, to the point where I wanted to put on weight. At school I actually used to get asked if I was anorexic (I was not). Sometimes commenting on being 'skinny' (hate that word) is just as bad as commenting on 'fat' people.

Anyway, I put on loads of weight after having DS and it has taken me a very long time to shift it as I can't exercise. I was wearing size 14 clothes for quite a while after, which I didn't think was that bad. Now I am back to a 12, I have had loads of comments about the weight I have lost (which does make me feel good). When I look back at the photos, yes I looked bigger than I thought I was at the time, and for me it was unnatural after always having been thin.

I bumped into a distant reletive the other day who said "oh you've lost weight" Great I thought, then she started going on and on and on about how big I was, and she lost her baby weight straight away when she had her DD (this woman is not particularly slim herself btw), and how I took soooo long to lose weight as I got so big. I told her I was only a size 14 (she thought I said 14 stone and went on about that for a bit). In the end I just "hmmmed" along until she shut up.

AIBU to think that a 14 is NOT big? Obviously I am much happier being a 12, I would say I am now slim but I have curves (and a few more wobbly bits than I would like, but we can't have everything ), and what is this bloody obsession that everyone has about weight? I recently read that a size 12 was a plus model size! WTF is that about!!

I don't why a GP would laugh about waist size being a good measure. It's better than BMI and also clothing sizes and many of the health problems are caused by weight round the waist. I think it's a good simple measure and the NHS endorse it.

I am a size 6-8 and 5 foot 9 ish (and a former model). contrary to what people assume when they first meet me, i did push them both out without any hip narrowness-related issues.
i admit that i had a few minor, eating-related issues throughout my teens and twenties (when i worked as a model) but i was never a front-page horror story & besides, that was the norm within the industry (and i'm guessing it still is). i see loads of mums out on the school run who are about my size (though usually a bit shorter).

poshsinglemum - I felt a lot sexier when i was AA flat chested actually - DD breasts is one thing my body appears to have gained for good since having the dcs and I spent the first few years wandering around feeling like an extra from a porn flic

OP, I agree. 14 really not that big, although the way some people carry on you'd think it was the worst thing ever ever.

People are WAY too preoccupied with dress size. Especially on here!

on here echoes real life though

True. Still true that people are way too pre-occupied with it though.

LOADS of fat kids at the pool today

If longevitiy is the key indicator of health, the best diet (at least theoretically in humans, but proven in animal models) is a very restricted calorie diet. I mean a really unpleasant, extremely low calorie diet. However, I'd rather die earlier but happier, so I could never follow such an acerbic regime. There is a population on a particular island of Japan which are the longest lived in the world. The theory of eating there (and in Japan in general) is to stop eating when one is 80% full (in other words, stop eating when one is still hungry).

Also, just measuring waist size is NOT a good measurement of health - better is the hip-to-waist ratio. Those women who are pear shaped are actually healthier than those who are apple shaped.

A small v larger frame doesn't correlate with being thinner/fatter, but does correlate with dress size and weight will show more on a smaller frame, so people with smaller frames probably keep their weights lower.

WHo said height and build is irrelevant? Sorry but you are a loon !

I'm 5'11" and have 7.5" wrists, size 8 feet and have a very broad back. Atm I am a large size 12 (refuse to say 14!). I look big because I am big but I don't look fat. I also carry quite a bit of muscle. (DOn't I sound lovely )My BMI is around 22 fwiw. Undoubtedly I could lose weight and when I did a few years back I got down to a 10/12 bottom half - but my top half was still a size bigger.

Grrr... I hate the term 'apple-shaped' to describe non-pear-shaped women.

I am NOT shaped like an apple. Apples are ROUND!

Aaaaand relax ...

BMI is what counts. It is very easy to work out - NHS direct have a calculator on line.

This has probably been posted on here many times before, but I think it's pertinent to the debate...

www.flickr.com/photos/77367764@N00/sets/72157602199008819/detail/

MamaLazarou that link is fascinating - IMO none of those people classified as overweight look anything other than perfectly fit and healthy.

Some of the obese women look pretty good too, they all look like they're leading active healthy lives, so it just goes to show BMI can be extremely misleading and really is not a sufficient measure of health.

That link shows those who are over weight obese and those ones indeed so mostly look over weight obese and theones is tsays are under weight also look awful and are under weight and the normal ones look fine. So the link just proves what we can all see and know with our own eyes.

What a brilliant link. Thanks v much for that.

ARRRRGH I hate this pear shaped more healthy than apple shaped thing.

It is a fact, and an indicator, but not something you can actually do anything about.

You could equally say that pear shaped women are healthier than apple shaped women and the majority of men, but they never put it like that (wonder why)

If you are a person who deposits fat on their stomach rather than their bottoms and thighs, then there is nothing you can do to change that physiological fact.

Pears are lucky, good for them. Now stop depressing me

Thinking about the waist size thing, shouldn't thaty vary accoring to height as well?

All these measures are fairly crude really aren't they. I also think that most people (unless they have a condition like body dysmorphia) can see whether they are too fat or thin by simply taking their clothes off and looking in a mirror.

I can see that DH and I are too fat, it's find of obvious. DH had a big tum and I have wobbly bits. Easy!

fuck according to the BMI thing I am obese

so size 14 IS fat

I think the apple/pear thing is very general.

Just checked the bmi; a healthy weight, they claim, though I am a size 14, mainly due to broad hips and large bosom; in fact, due to over-sized boobs I sometimes have to go for a size 16. Having a smallish waish doesn't help; you've got to squeeze your whole body in, haven't you? My dress size bears little correlation to the circumference of my waist.

No point in trying to make rules for the whole of the population. I am broad shouldered, broad hipped and (after bf'ing 2 dcs) with large boobs- I'm built as a beast of burden, in fact, I used to do manual labour and was good at it. My SIL otoh is a small elegant lady, with little bodily strength, tiny shoulders, hardly any hips to mention despite having had two babies. If she got to my weight, she'd be grossly obese. If I got to hers, I'd be in hospital.

That link was very useful. I think it is accurate. The woman (julia) who is described as being a few pounds away from being overweight, has a very similar shape to me, and I am a few pounds below the BMI overweight category and a 14 at 5 foot 10. So I feel that I can work out what is a healthy weight and it chimes pretty much with BMI.

I'm a size 14 (admittedly 16 in H&M). 5ft 5 inches. And obese in BMI terms.

TBH when I look at myself in the mirror I do look unhealthily overweight. There's a lot of excess baggage going on - this isn't about negative body image or anything. But "obese" seems a little extreme - if only because there are many people around who are an awful lot lardier than I am. Are they all "morbidly obese" then? What about huge people who can't get out of their houses? What are they? Or does "obese" cover a very wide range, iykwim?

I'm a size 14 at 5ft8. My BMI is in the high normal range. I would like to be a size 12, but lack the discipline to stay off the crap food. I think I look ok, but would look better at size 12 and probably feel more energetic

Some of those pictures in the overweight category must have been taken before they got overweight. Laurie on the first page is not overweight.

But that's the problem - now that 50% + of the population are fat we are losing sight of normal and think because the lady next door is 20 stone our 11 stone is rather svelte which is it is in relative terms but not absolute terms "- But "obese" seems a little extreme - if only because there are many people around who are an awful lot lardier than I am"

For most average height women BMI and the 32 inch waist thing and looking in the mirror are all pretty good indicators of weight. For those who weren't fat chilren then seeing what you weighed at 15 or 16 might be a good indicator of normal weight for you too.

So whatever your body chemistry, width of your bones or whatever if you're the average 5 foot 5 at 8 stone you're at the bottom end of healthy but just about okay and under that too skinny so get up to that. And up to about 9 stone looks okay and a bit more if you're nicely toned and work out a lot (ie hardly anyone) and if you're 10 stone 11 you're notlikely to get ill at that weight either but if you're 11 stone which is 3 stone over what is the lowest healthy weight for that height I expect you'd do better shifting a few pounds and 12 stone is giong to be fat really as I think 11 is.