to think that size 14 is NOT that bad?

[Coldhands]

I have always been naturally thin, to the point where I wanted to put on weight. At school I actually used to get asked if I was anorexic (I was not). Sometimes commenting on being 'skinny' (hate that word) is just as bad as commenting on 'fat' people.

Anyway, I put on loads of weight after having DS and it has taken me a very long time to shift it as I can't exercise. I was wearing size 14 clothes for quite a while after, which I didn't think was that bad. Now I am back to a 12, I have had loads of comments about the weight I have lost (which does make me feel good). When I look back at the photos, yes I looked bigger than I thought I was at the time, and for me it was unnatural after always having been thin.

I bumped into a distant reletive the other day who said "oh you've lost weight" Great I thought, then she started going on and on and on about how big I was, and she lost her baby weight straight away when she had her DD (this woman is not particularly slim herself btw), and how I took soooo long to lose weight as I got so big. I told her I was only a size 14 (she thought I said 14 stone and went on about that for a bit). In the end I just "hmmmed" along until she shut up.

AIBU to think that a 14 is NOT big? Obviously I am much happier being a 12, I would say I am now slim but I have curves (and a few more wobbly bits than I would like, but we can't have everything ), and what is this bloody obsession that everyone has about weight? I recently read that a size 12 was a plus model size! WTF is that about!!

The sad thing is, I had a friend at college who was exactly this northern peasant build but who had the idea that it was somehow compulsory, and safe, for her to get down to the same weight as a person built like a ballet dancer. You can probably guess the rest- she ended up in a mental hospital fed on a drip, having seen her last periods years before.

I weigh a good 8 kgs more than I did as a teenager, but wear very much the same clothes (literally in some cases, being of an economical turn of mind)- it was always the bones sticking out anyway, so the fact that I've now got flesh (possibly too much) on those bones hasn't done much towards altering my dress size. The one thing that has changed is the size of my boobs and that came with childbearing.

Actually, blood pressure/pulse/general activity are better indicators of health than breast size. A size 8-10 girl who survives, like those some of those 'freaky eaters' from tv, on crisp sandwiches and never exercises will be less healthy than a 5ft 8 size 14 person who exercises and eats a varied diet, but just too much of good food. You can't judge health so readily on size alone.

Ooops I said breast instead of dress, guess that's what comes of one-handed typing while breastfeeding, naughty me.

Xenia thats so interesting about the Iranians, I notice the same in Italy. They eat and eat but for some reason they dont seem as lardy as us brits. I could sit for hours saying "I am a size 14 and I am perfectly healthy bla bla bla" but my BMI says differently, my BMI says I am overweight. and given that I dread wearing a bikini,and hate my stomach, I tend to agree.

I just think that alot of us are in denial about it. I totally get that some of us are chunkier than others, and the bones /frame issue.

But we have a culture of overindulgence and poor eating here and then when people try and tell us otherwise we get all reactive and pissy.

I've gone abit bonkers about this...was previously happy at size 14 - am 5'8 and broad of shoulder and hips. Ate more than I maybe should, and didn't exercise as much as I ought to...but happy.

Then I was ill, lost weight to a very easy 12 felt terrible...but LOVED being skinnier.

Better at the moment, and consequently have put abit of weight on over christmas (which is technically good as shows I'm getting better) but my new jeans are too tight.

So now I feel hung up about my body which I previously didn't. Sad really.

There;s a whole load of fat acceptance going on in the US and UK, such as everyone is fat so I can be or big girls of 18 stone look much better than the 9 stoners and it's just a load of rubbish. I've also to be fair seen a lot of short fattish Irian women - I can see the advantage of all those robes when you get to those weights - might be easier than laying off the cream buns - just put in an order for an all encompassing black robe thing.

I agree that eating more calories than you expend makes you fatter - no on edenies that. But women who eat 3 healthy meals with enough good carbs and protein don't have spiked blood sugar, tend not to binge or get depressed and feel fuller longer and that is what stops you getting too fat

I was a size 6/8 before starting having kids, and I was so unhealthy, looking back at pictures I looked like some kind of heroin addict, now I am a 14 and probably slightly too big on the belly (but I had a section 8 weeks ago, so not being too hard on myself ) but generally I feel ok. I would say size 12 is my ideal weight. My sister, however, is just two years younger than me (although has no kids) and looks healthy at size 8, so I suppose it is just where you feel comfortable.